Top 100 Tyrion Quotes
#1. Warn you, Lannister, you'll find no inns at the Wall," he had said, looking down on him. "No doubt you'll find some place to put me," Tyrion had replied. "As you might have noticed, I'm small.
George R R Martin
#2. I am a knight - " "So I've noted. Tell me - did Cersei have you knighted before or after she took you into her bed?" The flicker in Lancel's green eyes was all the admission Tyrion needed. So Varys told it true. Well, no one can ever claim that my sister does not love her family.
George R R Martin
#3. I beg you both, take heart.'(Varys)
'Whose?' asked Tyrion sourly. He could think of several tempting choices.
George R R Martin
#4. The dwarf has risen from the dead, Tyrion thought. And look, he's uglier than ever, run tell your friends.
George R R Martin
#5. Is this Dornish wine?" Tyrion asked him once, as he pulled a stopper from a skin. "It reminds me of a certain snake I knew. A droll fellow, till a mountain fell on him.
George R R Martin
#6. Tyrion: My gentle sister seems to have mistaken me for Ned Stark.
Bronn: I hear he was taller.
Tyrion: Not after Joff took off his head.
George R R Martin
#7. Once a man has seen a dragon in flight, let him stay home and tend his garden in content, someone had written once, for this wide world has no greater wonder. Tyrion scratched at his scar and tried to recall the author's name.
George R R Martin
#9. One naked girl with a mud up to her knees could not seem to take her eyes off Tyrion. She has never seen a dwarf before, he realized, much less a dwarf without a nose. He made a face and stuck his tongue out and the girl began to cry
George R R Martin
#10. Tyrion shrugged. We all need to be mocked from time to time Lord Mormont lest we start to take ourselves too seriously.
George R R Martin
#11. Tyrion was exceedingly courteous; he offered his sister the choice portions of every dish, and made certain he ate only what she did. Not that he truly thought she'd poison him, but it never hurt to be careful.
George R R Martin
#12. Jon:'What are you doing up there? Why aren't you at the feast?'
Tyrion: 'Too hot, too noisy, and I'd drunk too much wine', the dwarf told him. 'I learned long ago that it is considered rude to vomit on your brother.
George R R Martin
#13. Have you ever considered that too many answers are the same as no answers at all? - Tyrion
George R R Martin
#14. My mind is my weapon. My brother has his sword, King Robert has his warhammer, and I have my mind ... and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge. Tyrion
George R R Martin
#15. Tyrion let the eunuch help him mount. "Lord Varys," he said from the saddle, "sometimes I feel as though you are the best friend I have in King's Landing and sometimes I feel you are my worst enemy."
"How odd. I think quite the same of you.
George R R Martin
#16. There was very little that Jaime took seriously. Tyrion knew that about his brother, and forgave it. During all the terrible long years of his childhood, only Jaime had ever shown him the smallest measure of affection or respect, and for that Tyrion was willing to forgive him most anything.
George R R Martin
#17. Tyrion wondered what it would be like to have a twin, and decided that he would rather not know. Bad enough to face himself in a looking glass every day.
George R R Martin
#18. Littlefinger: A trade envoy from Lys once observed to me that Lord Stannis must love his daughter very well, since he'd erected hundreds of statues of her all along the walls of Dragonstone.
Tyrion: My lord, those are gargoyles.
George R R Martin
#19. When I was a boy," Tyrion replied, "my wet nurse told me that one day, if men were good, the gods would give the world a summer without ending. Perhaps we've been better than we thought, and the Great Summer is finally at hand." He grinned. The
George R R Martin
#20. The Imp," said Littlefinger as Lord Varys watched her face. "Tyrion Lannister.
George R R Martin
#21. Jaime," she said, tugging on his ear, "sweetling, I have known you since you were a babe at Joanna's breast. You smile like Gerion and fight like Tyg, and there's some of Kevan in you, else you would not wear that cloak ... but Tyrion is Tywin's son, not you.
George R R Martin
#22. Little redcape," he snarled, "when next you bare steel on Shagga son of Dolf, I will chop off your manhood and roast it in the fire."
"What, no goats?" Tyrion said, taking a bite of his cheese.
George R R Martin
#23. You'll think of me every time you go to bed. Then you'll get hard and you'll have no one to help you and you'll never be able to sleep unless you-" She grinned that wicked grin Tyrion liked so well. "-is that why they call it the Tower of the Hand, m'lord?
George R R Martin
#24. I spent a lot of time [between takes] apologising to Peter Dinklage [Dance's on-screen son, Tyrion Lannister] because I treat him appallingly.
Charles Dance
#25. If I am ever Hand again, the first thing I'll do is hang all the singers, said Tyrion, too loudly.
George R R Martin
#26. Shaga: How would you like to die, little man?
Tyrion: In my bed, at the age of eighty with a belly full of wine and a woman's mouth around my cock.
George R R Martin
#27. Tyrion pushed forward. "MY LORDS! " he shouted. He had to shout, to have any hope of being heard.
His father raised a hand. Bit by bit, the hall grew silent.
George R R Martin
#28. Sooner would be better than later, and now would be better than sooner. - Tyrion
George R R Martin
#29. She has the blood of a wolf," said Joffrey. "And you have the wits of a goose," said Tyrion.
George R R Martin
#30. You look very elegant today, my lord."
"I'm wounded. I strive to look elegant every day." - Tyrion & Littlefinger
George R R Martin
#31. Tyrion: Careful now, Shagga, you've cut him.
Shagga: Dolf fathered warriors, not barbers.
George R R Martin
#32. Joffrey received loving kisses from the bride's father and his two new brothers, Loras and Garlan. No one seemed in any great rush to kiss Tyrion. When the king and queen had taken their seats, the High Septon rose to lead a prayer.
George R R Martin
#33. One of your northmen hit me with a morningstar during the battle on the Green Fork. I escaped him by falling off my horse. (Tyrion)
George R R Martin
#34. Tyrion was unimpressed. "Words are wind. Who is this bloody savior?" "A dragon." The cheesemonger saw the look on his face at that, and laughed. "A dragon with three heads.
George R R Martin
#35. Give me priests who are fat and corrupt and cynical,( ... ) the sort who like to sit on soft satin cushions, nibble sweetmeats, and diddle little boys. It's the ones who believe in gods who make the trouble. (Tyrion)
George R R Martin
#36. The man seems to have been quite friendless," Tyrion said carefully. "Sadly," said Varys, "oh, sadly. You might find some kin if you turned over enough stones back
George R R Martin
#37. He says that it is good luck to rub the head of a dwarf," Haldon said after an exchange with the guard in his own tongue.
Tyrion forced himself to smile at the man. "Tell him that it is even better luck to suck on a dwarf's cock.
George R R Martin
#38. I don't have much of an attention span for TV - I nod off during the basketball playoffs - but when I watch 'Game of Thrones' on On Demand, I'm glued to the set. It's mystical and addictive. Tyrion Lannister, that's my man.
Steve Harvey
#39. If he doesn't give her back, chop off his manhood and feed it to the goats," Tyrion promised. "Provided you can find some.
George R R Martin
#41. One of those was occupied by a dwarf. Clean-shaved and pink-cheeked, with a mop of chestnut hair, a heavy brow, and a squashed nose, he perched on a high stool with a wooden spoon in hand, contemplating a bowl of purplish gruel with red-rimmed eyes. Ugly little bastard, Tyrion thought. The
George R R Martin
#42. Small men oft feel a need to prove their courage with unseemly boasts," he declared. "I doubt if he could kill a duck."
Tyrion shrugged. "Fetch the duck.
George R R Martin
#43. Tyrion felt a pang of rage. "You fucking son of a pox-ridden ass," he spat. "I hope you die of a bloody flux.
George R R Martin
#44. My brother is undoubtedly arrogant," Tyrion Lannister replied. "My father is the soul of avarice, and my sweet sister Cersei lusts for power with every waking breath. I, however, am innocent as a little lamb. Shall I bleat for you?
George R R Martin
#45. Tyrion seated himself and took a sip of wine. If a man paints a target on his chest, he should expect that sooner or later someone will loose an arrow at him. I have seen dead men with more humor than your Ser Alliser.
George R R Martin
#46. Watch over my brother, you bloody bastard, he's one of yours.
Tyrion praying to the Warrior
George R R Martin
#47. You promised him vengeance as well.' 'I promised him justice.' 'Call it what you will. It still comes down to blood. - Tywin & Tyrion
George R R Martin
#48. Remind me to tell the High Septon," said Tyrion. "If I could pray with my cock, I'd be much more religious." He
George R R Martin
#49. I arrived here a King's Hand, riding through the gates at the head of my own sworn men, Tyrion reflected, and I leave like a rat scuttling through the dark, holding hands with a spider.
George R R Martin
#50. Shagga son of Dolf likes this not. Shagga will go with the boyman, and if the boyman lies, Shagga will chop off his manhood-"
"-and feed it to the goats, yes," Tyrion said wearily.
George R R Martin
#51. You're asking a lame man to teach a cripple how to dance, Tyrion said.
George R R Martin
#52. I do solemnly proclaim Tyrion of House Lannister and Sansa of House Stark to be man and wife, one flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever, and cursed be the one who comes between them.
George R R Martin
#53. Ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow.
Tyrion smiled. Lord Varys, I am growing strangely fond of you. I may kill you yet, but I think I'd feel sad about it.
I will take that as high praise.
George R R Martin
#54. Bronn himself, who'd only smiled that insolent dark smile of his and afterward said, "They'll kill for that knighthood, but don't ever think they'll die for it."
Tyrion had no such delusion.
George R R Martin
#55. Varys appeared not long after Lord Jacelyn had left. "Men are such faithless creatures," he said by way of greeting. Tyrion sighed. "Who's the traitor today?" The eunuch handed him a scroll. "So much villainy, it sings a sad song for our age. Did honor die with your fathers?
George R R Martin
#56. Jaime smiled. "I hope you're not thinking of taking the black on us, sweet brother."
Tyrion laughed. "What, me, celibate? The whores would go begging from Dorne to Casterly Rock. No, I just want to stand on top of the Wall and piss off the edge of the world.
George R R Martin
#57. He did not know whether he ought to be delighted or terrified. Perhaps a smidge of both. - Tyrion
George R R Martin
#58. All his life Tyrion had prided himself on his cunning, the only gift the gods had seen fit to give him, and yet this seven-times-damned she-wolf Catelyn Stark had outwitted him at every turn. The
George R R Martin
#59. Tyrion Lannister: Someone should tell the cooks that turnips isn't a meat.
George R R Martin
#60. Why should you want to help him?" "Your brother Jon asked it of me. And I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples and bastards and broken things." Tyrion Lannister placed a hand over his heart and grinned. The
George R R Martin
#61. Of course it is, thought Tyrion. The game of thrones. "As you say, Captain," he murmured, bowing once again.
George R R Martin
#62. Ser Alliser Thorne was the only man at table who did not so much as crack a smile. "Lannister mocks us." "Only you, Ser Alliser," Tyrion said. This time the laughter round the table had a nervous, uncertain quality to it.
George R R Martin
#63. Remember, whatever the price ... I'll beat it! I like living!
Tyrion Lannister
George R R Martin
#64. Do you think it will truly come to battle between them? If they should come to some accord - "
"They won't," Tyrion said. "They are too different and yet too much alike, and neither could ever stomach the other.
George R R Martin
#65. Tyrion smiled. "Lord Stannis has sailed from Dragonstone." Cersei bolted to her feet. "And yet you sit there grinning like a harvest-day pumpkin?
George R R Martin
#66. Another name? Oh, certainly. And when the Faceless Men come to kill me, I'll say, 'No, you have the wrong man, I'm a different dwarf with a hideous facial scar.' Both Lannisters laughed at the absurdity of it all. (Tyrion Lannister)
George R R Martin
#67. The longer he lived, the more Tyrion realized that nothing was simple and little was true.
George R R Martin
#68. At night Tyrion would oft hear her praying. A waste of words. If there are gods to listen, they are monstrous gods who torment us for their sport. Who else would make a world like this, so full of bondage, blood, and pain?
George R R Martin
#69. Did you think I was as blind as Father?" Tyrion rubbed his cheek. "Who you lie with is no matter to me ... although it doesn't seem quite just that you should open your legs for one brother and not the other.
George R R Martin
#70. MEANWHILE, BACK ON THE WALL ... Hey, wait a minute!" some of you may be saying about now. "Wait a minute, wait a minute! Where's Dany and the dragons? Where's Tyrion? We hardly saw Jon Snow. That can't be all of it. ... " Well, no. There's more to come.
George R R Martin
#71. This is folly, Tyrion,' declared Lord Tywin. 'Speak to the matter at hand. You are not on trial for being a dwarf.
'That is where you err, my lord. I have been on trial for being a dwarf my entire life.
George R R Martin
#72. How I have yearned for the sound of your sweet voice," Tyrion sighed to her. "How I have yearned to have that eunuch's tongue pulled out with hot pincers," Cersei replied.
George R R Martin
#73. Tyrion Lannister was bundled in furs so thickly he looked like a very small bear
George R R Martin
#74. I mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. - Tyrion Lannister
George R R Martin
#75. How would you like to die, Tyrion son of Tywin?"
"In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock, at the age of eighty," he replied.
George R R Martin
#76. Why would you take so much bloody interest in where I put my cock? - Tyrion Lannister
George R R Martin
#77. The gold of a lowland lord is as worthless as a half man's promises' Gunthor said.
'Half a man I may be' Tyrion said. 'Yet I have the courage to face my enemies. What do the Stone Crows do, but hide behind rocks and shiver with fear as the knights of the Vale ride by?
George R R Martin
#78. If you do shit gold, Father, find a privy and get busy, he wanted to say, but he knew better.
Tyrion Lannister
George R R Martin
#79. Tyrion Lannister could not have been more astonished if Aegon the Conqueror himself had burst into the room, riding on a dragon and juggling lemon pies.
George R R Martin
#80. Truly, sister, you were born to be a widow. (Tyrion to Cersei)
George R R Martin
#81. Let them look. Let them stare and whisper until they've had their fill, I will not hide myself for their sake. - Tyrion Lannister
George R R Martin
#82. More wine?" Tyrion asked him. "I should not object," Lord Janos said, holding out his cup. He was built like a keg, and had a similar capacity.
George R R Martin
#83. As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted," Tyrion began, "there is a serious flaw in Littlefinger's fable. Whatever you may believe of me, Lady Stark, I promise you this - I never bet against my family.
George R R Martin
#85. My father called them smallfolk," said Tyrion, "and he was not what you'd call a jolly man.
George R R Martin
#86. It all goes back and back," Tyrion thought, "to our mothers and fathers and theirs before them. We are puppets dancing on the strings of those who came before us, and one day our own children will take up our strings and dance in our steads.
George R R Martin
#87. A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid. - Tyrion
George R R Martin
#88. So what will you do, m'lord, now that you're the Hand of the King?" Shae asked him as he cupped that warm sweet flesh. "Something Cersei will never expect," Tyrion murmured softly against her slender neck. "I'll do ... justice.
George R R Martin
#89. Make no mistake, dwarf. I fought for you, but I do not love you'
'It was your blade I needed' Tyrion said, 'not your love.
George R R Martin
#90. Tyrion Lannister knew the maps as well as anyone, but a fortnight on the wild track that passed for the kingsroad up here
George R R Martin
#91. I am loyal to my beloved Joffrey. (Sansa)
No doubt. As loyal as a deer surrounded by wolves. (Tyrion)
Lions, she whispered without thinking.
George R R Martin
#92. Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs
George R R Martin
#93. That's one way we differ, Jaime and I. He's taller as well, you may have noticed.
George R R Martin
#94. My sister has mistaken me for a mushroom. She keeps me in the dark and feeds me shit.
George R R Martin
#95. The dwarf has played her like a set of pipes, and she is too deaf to hear the tune.
George R R Martin
#96. A wise man did not pour wildfire on a brazier. Instead he poured a fresh cup of wine.
George R R Martin
#98. Drowning was bad enough. But drowning sad and sober, that's too cruel.
George R R Martin
#99. A fool more foolish than most had once jested that even Lord Tywin's shit was flecked with gold. Some said the man was still alive, deep in the bowels of Casterly Rock.
George R R Martin
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