Top 21 Top Humorous Quotes
#1. LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they made the factory too easy to take apart and rebuild somewhere else.
Conan O'Brien
#2. Specific music starts feeding my imagination and gives me a landscape that corresponds somehow, in some abstract way, to the world I'm just starting to imagine.
Jim Jarmusch
#3. WYTIWYG" (pronounced "witty-wig"): What You Test Is What You Get.
Kelly Gallagher
#4. When all of life becomes crowded with profound and weighty matters, making time to engage in trivial things becomes an even greater priority.
Galen Beckett
#5. I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.
Euripides
#6. Among the top ten things I've learned in life: when your hair stylist is having a bad day, reschedule.
P.M. Terrell
#7. While I still did not know what self- actualization that sat on the top level of the pyramid meant, I could believe
that if I knew I would be able to say something positive about it as well in
my life.
Vann Chow
#8. The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.
Douglas Adams
#9. Sorry, I didn't see the big X with the words Top Secret Government Laboratory on the map, did you?
Julie Kagawa
#10. I don't intend to shrink from the truth, because the longer it's postponed, the harder it will be for them to accept it when they do hear it!
Anne Frank
#11. Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.
Erma Bombeck
#12. One thing I can say about our band is this. If you got something good to lay on us, enlighten us, but if you got something bad to lay on us, you can get your teeth knocked clean down your throat man. Dangerous people. Lovely people.
Duane Allman
#13. I knew I was lying to myself by thinking I could fix her. But, it was too late. I didn't know how to let go.
Tarryn Fisher
#14. Money can't be cared about - it's got to be a tool that you use, because if you don't use it, it will use you.
Tony Robbins
#15. It looks like two alpacas fucking, mostly," he said apologetically. "Of course, sometimes, the boy can't get his boy parts past the girl's furry ass, and he needs a little help, so then it looks like two alpacas fucking while their handler's giving the one on top a handjob.
Amy Lane
#16. Now that it's all over, what did you really do yesterday that's worth mentioning?
Coleman Cox
#17. After a few more minutes of daydreaming about how fabulous I could become, I look down at the heading on my paper: Janey's Reinvention Plan. It appears lonely at the top of the page. I should probably add some bullets beneath, but I've never been much of a list maker.
J.C. Patrick
#18. I had an aunt named 'abnormal Shauna' once. But she passed away in an unfortunate cliff-top interpretative dance and fireworks accident.
Joshua Donellan
#19. I've lived in good climate, and it bores the hell out of me. I like weather rather than climate.
John Steinbeck
#20. I had about as much chance to do that as I did of backpacking my car to the top of Mount Rushmore.
Jim Butcher
#21. I only have so much willpower, Helen," he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the covers before I do something stupid.
Josephine Angelini
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