Top 21 Top Humorous Quotes

#1. LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they made the factory too easy to take apart and rebuild somewhere else.

Conan O'Brien

Top Humorous Quotes #148216
#2. Specific music starts feeding my imagination and gives me a landscape that corresponds somehow, in some abstract way, to the world I'm just starting to imagine.

Jim Jarmusch

Top Humorous Quotes #217260
#3. WYTIWYG" (pronounced "witty-wig"): What You Test Is What You Get.

Kelly Gallagher

Top Humorous Quotes #225044
#4. When all of life becomes crowded with profound and weighty matters, making time to engage in trivial things becomes an even greater priority.

Galen Beckett

Top Humorous Quotes #323511
#5. I hate it in friends when they come too late to help.

Euripides

Top Humorous Quotes #444977
#6. Among the top ten things I've learned in life: when your hair stylist is having a bad day, reschedule.

P.M. Terrell

Top Humorous Quotes #482091
#7. While I still did not know what self- actualization that sat on the top level of the pyramid meant, I could believe
that if I knew I would be able to say something positive about it as well in
my life.

Vann Chow

Top Humorous Quotes #600492
#8. The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.

Douglas Adams

Top Humorous Quotes #601244
#9. Sorry, I didn't see the big X with the words Top Secret Government Laboratory on the map, did you?

Julie Kagawa

Top Humorous Quotes #810360
#10. I don't intend to shrink from the truth, because the longer it's postponed, the harder it will be for them to accept it when they do hear it!

Anne Frank

Top Humorous Quotes #893582
#11. Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League.

Erma Bombeck

Top Humorous Quotes #968138
#12. One thing I can say about our band is this. If you got something good to lay on us, enlighten us, but if you got something bad to lay on us, you can get your teeth knocked clean down your throat man. Dangerous people. Lovely people.

Duane Allman

Top Humorous Quotes #1048021
#13. I knew I was lying to myself by thinking I could fix her. But, it was too late. I didn't know how to let go.

Tarryn Fisher

Top Humorous Quotes #1232402
#14. Money can't be cared about - it's got to be a tool that you use, because if you don't use it, it will use you.

Tony Robbins

Top Humorous Quotes #1237806
#15. It looks like two alpacas fucking, mostly," he said apologetically. "Of course, sometimes, the boy can't get his boy parts past the girl's furry ass, and he needs a little help, so then it looks like two alpacas fucking while their handler's giving the one on top a handjob.

Amy Lane

Top Humorous Quotes #1266475
#16. Now that it's all over, what did you really do yesterday that's worth mentioning?

Coleman Cox

Top Humorous Quotes #1456512
#17. After a few more minutes of daydreaming about how fabulous I could become, I look down at the heading on my paper: Janey's Reinvention Plan. It appears lonely at the top of the page. I should probably add some bullets beneath, but I've never been much of a list maker.

J.C. Patrick

Top Humorous Quotes #1460597
#18. I had an aunt named 'abnormal Shauna' once. But she passed away in an unfortunate cliff-top interpretative dance and fireworks accident.

Joshua Donellan

Top Humorous Quotes #1543460
#19. I've lived in good climate, and it bores the hell out of me. I like weather rather than climate.

John Steinbeck

Top Humorous Quotes #1596706
#20. I had about as much chance to do that as I did of backpacking my car to the top of Mount Rushmore.

Jim Butcher

Top Humorous Quotes #1699767
#21. I only have so much willpower, Helen," he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the covers before I do something stupid.

Josephine Angelini

Top Humorous Quotes #1739754

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