Toilet Tissue Quotes

#1. A gal who wants to powder her nose should have enough toilet tissue in hand.

Anyaele Sam Chiyson

#2. Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw.

Erma Bombeck

#3. I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.

Erma Bombeck

#4. Prettiness fades after a few years, but elegance only increases with age.

Anne Gracie

#5. Most people die, living their life paycheck to paycheck,trying to stretch out each dollar, as like a roll of toilet paper. Toiling each tissue, never quite wiping away all the shit from their asses, where the world always takes what little they flush, back into its deprived system, always hungry.

Anthony Liccione

#6. Her diaper is soiled. A.J. has never changed a diaper in his life, though he is a modestly skilled gift wrapper. Back when Nic was alive, Island used to offer free gift wrap at Christmas, and he figures that diaper changing and gift-wrapping must be related proficiencies.

Gabrielle Zevin

#7. In our skulls, we carry around 3 pounds of slimy, wet, greyish tissue, corrugated like crumpled toilet paper. You wouldn't think, to look at the unappetizing lump, that it was some of the most powerful stuff in the known universe.

Eliezer Yudkowsky

#8. What's interesting is to see us as we really are; only in this way we could arrive to the truly knowledge of one-self.

Samael Aun Weor

#9. For what is man without desires, without free will, and without the power of choice but a stop in an organ pipe?

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

#10. I'm nervous, but once I get a guitar on and start a song, after the first few seconds, I can feel it ease. I don't have to worry about anything other than the music.

Phillip Phillips

#11. Trent grinned and winked at him. Just a heel click of my ruby slippers away, baby.

N.R. Walker