This Is England Funny Quotes

#1. Whenever I go overseas I buy funny eyelashes. For example the same brand that are in Japan and England are different styles. So I bought both.

Park Bom

#2. As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny.

Jenny Eclair

#3. I needed to do my current job well, keep preparing, and wait on God's timing. I needed to trust His leadership rather than try to force an outcome I wanted.

Tony Dungy

#4. It was funny, Richard Sharpe thought, that there were no vultures in England.

Bernard Cornwell

#5. Love is simple, if you allow it to be simple. Julian to Hannah, Take A Chance

Alison Wong

#6. I recently spent quite a bit of time in Sheffield, England, which is where I'm from. I wouldn't move back there, but it's funny when you spend a bit of time in the place where you were brought up. You kind of realize how that place has had quite a big effect on you or made you a certain way.

Jarvis Cocker

#7. In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say 'Stop, or I'll say stop again.'

Robin Williams

#8. The funny thing is if in England, you ask a man in the street who the greatest living Darwinian is, he will say Richard Dawkins. And indeed, Dawkins has done a marvelous job of popularizing Darwinism. But Dawkins' basic theory of the gene being the object of evolution is totally non-Darwinian.

Ernst W. Mayr

#9. It's funny because if you ever ask anyone in England to try and do a Beatles accent, no one knows what they really sound like. If you ask anyone in America, they would try and give it a go. English people just know their songs.

Aaron Johnson

#10. I still read the British papers, but I've never been a Royalist, ever. It's funny, there always seems to be much more of a fascination with the Royal Family over here then there does in England.

Paul Bettany

#11. 'The Talk-Funny Girl' opens with a glum picture of a desperately poor rural New England family. Poverty has so brutalized the family that the ordinary laws and rules governing humanity have eroded, turning systems of behavior upside down.

Carolyn See

#12. Then holding the star aloft and the bright sword advanced, Frodo, hobbit of the Shire, walked steadily down to meet the eyes.

J.R.R. Tolkien

#13. Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'

Greg Proops

#14. May you look back on the past with as much pleasure as you look forward to the future.

Paul Dickson

#15. Those who speak always and those who never speak are equally unfit for friendship. A food proportion of the talent of listening and speaking is the base of social virtues.

Johann Kaspar Lavater

#16. I didn't know Kurt Cobain or Amy Winehouse, but I was affected by both of their deaths because I admired their work so much and mourned their youth and work they would never produce.

Patti Smith

#17. Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.

Jeff Foxworthy

#18. in view of the law of natural selection it was agreed that a nation or world of people who will not use their intelligence are no better than animals who do not have intelligence. Such people are beasts of burden and steaks on the table by choice and consent.

Milton William Cooper

#19. Many of us view the bible and other religious teachings as mythology.

Richard King

#20. I want to prevent us reifying 'the Internet' as something to be preserved like some people want to preserve the American Constitution as it was written.

Evgeny Morozov

#21. I really want donuts. But not regular donuts. I want mini donuts, but I also want them to be crunchy." He sat forward quickly. "Ah! Cherios. I want Cheerios. Do we have any?

Beth Ehemann

#22. In England when you make a movie even the weather is against you. In Hollywood the weatherman gets a shooting schedule from all the major studios and then figures out where he can fit in a little rain without upsetting Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer too much.

Bob Hope

#23. A bag which was left and not only taken but turned away was not found. The place was shown to be very like the last time. A piece was not exchanged, not a bit of it, a piece was left over. The rest was mismanaged.

Gertrude Stein

#24. I can't chitchat and make breakfast at the same time. You could help, you know, instead of standing there like the Queen of England. Although you're a lot better-looking.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#25. So I went to bed, full, happy, and caring nothing for all the hurt of all the englished Welshmen that ever festered upon a proud land

Richard Llewellyn

#26. Some people in England only have their wheelie bins collected once a fortnight. Their suffering is unimaginable.

Russell Howard

#27. One day instead the old woman said kind words to her and gave her an awning on a stick to keep rain off (there has been much rain in purgatorium)

Ali Smith

#28. My parents were from New England. It's very funny, but when I grew up, you always had to say, 'Yes, ma'am' and 'Yes, sir.'

Cy Twombly

#29. My understanding of this life is that you tour and play for years and years, have some longevity and a steady career. That may sound boring, but I always thought that was less depressing than being a one-hit wonder.

Teddy Thompson

#30. I've never worked in my natural accent, having studied so hard to get rid of it when I moved to England as a child where I was bullied at school for 'talking funny.'

Gina Bellman

#31. Johnny Rotten. He's a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he'd stand up and holler. He's funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't.

Captain Beefheart

#32. The Queen of England jumped out of a helicopter and parachuted into the stadium. What was even more amazing was when Prince Charles flew in using his ears as a hang glider.

Jay Leno

#33. The other advantage England have got when Phil Tufnell is bowling is that he isn't fielding

Ian Chappell