Survey Says Quotes

#1. A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I'm not going to do anything. I'm going as Congress.

Craig Ferguson

#2. A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we can't get anything done in the morning: We're government workers.

Jay Leno

#3. Survey says: one more for the bad guys.

Scott Hall

#4. A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn't answer the phone.

Craig Kilborn

#5. I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh.

D. L. Hughley

#6. I started being a songwriter pretending I could do it, and it turned out I could.

James Taylor

#7. It seemed that the pain of their physical illness at times was less than the misery of their poverty ridden existence, the unending wait in the queues and the feeling of hopelessness and abandonment by your own system was enough to rob them of their will power to fight any disease.

Madhu Vajpayee

#8. When we fail to express our needs, we remain islands unto ourselves - detached, alone, arrogant, and proud. But when we expose our needs, we are able to receive the supplies and nurture necessary for survival.

Henry Cloud

#9. True love is the best thing in the world, except for cough drops.

William Goldman

#10. The arrangement was simply FreedomWorks paid Glenn Beck money and Glenn Beck said nice things about FreedomWorks on the air. I saw that a million dollars went to Beck this past year, that was the annual expenditure. I put it down now as basically as paid advertising for FreedomWorks by Beck.

Dick Armey

#11. According to a certain survey, nearly half of the whole population of women is on some sort of diet. That same survey also says that almost 80% are not satisfied with the way they looked and think about this at least 8 times a day.

Amy Charles

#12. A new survey out says 64 percent of Americans own a smartphone. Which is interesting because in a related survey, 100 percent of smart phones say they own an American.

Jimmy Fallon

#13. not as pretty as in the pictures.

Lauren Oliver

#14. One survey that I saw that was published I think in Variety or Electronic Media within the last three weeks says that now the average hour of radio in the United States has 18 minutes of commercials.

Robert McChesney

#15. I'm useless with a sword in real life.

John Bradley-West

#16. If you are willing to go an Infinite distance to do what you are born to do, the way is opened, for You.

L.P. Johnson