Sterling Archer Quotes

#1. They say stress is the silent killer. But poison darts are also pretty damn quiet.

Sterling Archer

#2. Always distrust absolute statements! Even this one.

Margreet De Heer

#3. The clergy complain of the enormous spread of bold books, from the infidel tract to the latest handling of the miracle question.

Harriet Martineau

#4. No, it's not [a book] Lana. It's an allegorical novella about Stalinism by George Orwell, and spoiler alert, IT SUCKS.

Sterling Archer

#5. Did I make you spend so much time at the office? Did I make you play three rounds of golf last weekend? Answer: No, I didn't. I was too busy pinning your wife's ankles to her ears.

Sterling Archer

#6. Everything that we've been through makes me realize that love is about finding the right person in this cold, oppressive world that loves all the wrong things about you. Everything you try to hide, they accept. And I know he accepts me.

Calia Read

#7. Memoirs? No, we want a how-to book. For spies." "A how-to book?! A book can't teach someone how to be equal parts deadly and sexy! That's like asking a cobra to write a book about how to be a cobra!

Sterling Archer

#8. It's got to ask uss a question, my preciouss, yes, yess, yesss. Jusst one more question to guess, yes, yess," said Gollum.

J.R.R. Tolkien

#9. And as far as he was concerned, he needed to be listened to in order to believe in his life.

Albert Camus

#10. Seriously, did I miss something? Did John F. Kennedy walk into the Oval Office one day, only to find Fidel Castro lighting his Cohiba with the American flag while teabagging Jackie?

Sterling Archer

#11. If I wanted to work hard, I'd be a farmer.

Sterling Archer

#12. Humanism is not a pompous philosophy to be talked and debated about by a handful of intellectuals - it is the purest form of moral compass, which defines the civilized heart of thinking humanity.

Abhijit Naskar

#13. the brave are merely the stupid who live through their poor decisions.

Brian Fuller

#14. I have only men like you n novels, men who lived their own idiosyncrasies.

Sachin Kundalkar

#15. The principle we call self-love never seeks anything external for the sake of the thing, but only as a means of happiness or good: particular affections rest in the external things themselves.

Joseph Butler

#16. And if whatever you're shooting doesn't die after you pump eight thirty-two-caliber slugs into it, it's probably a dragon.

Sterling Archer

#17. I'm pretty sure if I stopped drinking for even one day, the accumulated hangover would probably kill me.

Sterling Archer

#18. If things far away don't concern you, you'll soon mourn things close at hand.

Confucius

#19. I think that passion and love and pain are all bearable, and they go to make love beautiful.

Robert Plant

#20. The most you play a character in the theater is, like, a couple months, and then you put it away.

Adam Driver