Top 86 Shane Collins Quotes
#1. You staked a vampire with a number two pencil."
"I didn't actually check the number."
- Shane Collins and Claire Danvers from Morganville Vampires
Rachel Caine
#2. Bite Me!-Shane Collins to Eve Rosser.
The Morganville Vampire Series
Rachel Caine
#3. Hannah leaned against the wall. 'Mind if I call shotgun?'
'Since you're carrying one? Feel free.
Rachel Caine
#4. Shane said, "Don't worry. I'll protect you."
Claire hit him in the shoulder. "I don't need you to protect me."
"Then why am I going first?"
"So you can take the first punch while I throw the second?"
"So I'm bait? Ouch. You've been in Morganville way too long, girl.
Rachel Caine
#5. Hey! Sorry, lady, but nobody's staking anybody at this party! I hung a disco ball for this.
Rachel Caine
#6. He lives alone and makes his bed? Who does that?
Rachel Caine
#7. Damn, there goes my chance for some hot sexy talk.
Rachel Caine
#8. Happy birthday," she said. "And next time? Eat the stupid cupcake.
Rachel Caine
#9. So don't preach at us like you're some kind of saint. You're just another sinner.
Rachel Caine
#10. Hey!" Claire called after him, as she leaned her backpack against the wall.
"No onions!"
"Your loss!"
"I meant for YOU! Not if you want to get kissed tonight!"
"Damn, girl. Harsh.
Rachel Caine
#11. And then it was between Shane and Claire on who retreated first. "Uou go," he said.
"Why?"
Shane and Pete exchangedblooks. "Seriously?" Pete asked.
"Yeah, she's like that," Shane said, and turned to her. "Because you're my girlfriend, and I'm not going unti; I know you're safe. How's that?
Rachel Caine
#12. Shane looked ... pale. Pale and shaken and - how predictable was this? - pissed.
Rachel Caine
#13. Oh, he is cute!" Shane said in a fake girly voice. "Gee, maybe we can ask him out!"
"Shut up, you weasel. Claire, hit him!
Rachel Caine
#14. Right, that was awkward. Eve, you stay and ... , bake or something."
"The hell I will.
Rachel Caine
#15. Hell,' Shane spit in disgust. 'I can't hit a girl. Here, Claire. You hit her.' He tossed her the bat.
Rachel Caine
#16. It's your chili dog. Clean it up."
"It's your turn to clean."
"The house. Not your trash, which you can walk your leatherfaced-ass unto the kitchen to throw away.
Rachel Caine
#17. Marriage is a big word for all guys," Shane said. "You know that. It's kind of an allergy. We get itchy and sweaty just trying to spell it, much less do it.
Rachel Caine
#18. You are just landmark stupid, aren't you? Has Guinness called yet about that world record?
Rachel Caine
#19. So, I guess you're there at your new place. Hope it's awesome. If it's not, you'll make it awesome, because that's what you do. It's your superpower.
Rachel Caine
#20. Silver nitrate and water in a super soaker," he told her. "My own invention. Ought to be good at twenty feet, kind of like wasp spray."
Oh. "You get me the nicest things."
"Anybody can get jewelry. Posers
Rachel Caine
#21. Maybe you're not his type." Michael said
"Oh, now you're just being insulting.
Rachel Caine
#22. I think I'd fall for you no matter what, Claire. You're kind of awesome.
Rachel Caine
#23. Now we're in the middle of a three-sided vampire war. Which would be an awesome video game, but I'm really not interested in playing for real. I like my reset buttons.
Rachel Caine
#24. Expecting anybody else?' Shane asked Eve. 'Your distant cousin Jack the Ripper dropping by too?'
'Screw you, Collins.
Rachel Caine
#25. Look, I hate good-byes, too. But sometimes, we need them just to survive.
Rachel Caine
#26. Jackass!" Eve yelled.
"You know, when people say that, I just hear the word awesome," Shane said.
Rachel Caine
#27. He broke the kiss and leaned against her, breathing hard. Good morning to you, too. Man, I just can't stay mad when you do that.
Rachel Caine
#28. You know what we call pedestrians in Morganville? Mobile bloodbanks.
Rachel Caine
#29. Things that Shane doesn't want on his grave:
(1.) I thought it wasn't loaded.
(2.) Hand me a match so I can check the gas tank.
(3.) Killed over Ice Cream
Rachel Caine
#30. Just wanted to remind you that we're out of milk again. And hot sauce."
"Why are those two always out at the same time? Because those do not go together."
"I suspect Shane. He'd put hot sauce in anything," Michael said.
Rachel Caine
#31. If you ask me if I'm okay again, I'm going to smack myself in the face just to punish you.
Rachel Caine
#32. He was a nice guy, middle-aged, a little tired, like most doctors usually seemed to be, but he just nodded and said,
"Let me take a look at him. Shane?"
"I'm not dropping my pants," Shane said. "I just thought I'd say that up front.
Rachel Caine
#33. No, not you two. Stay here.'
'Does he just not get how unfair and sexist that is?' Eve asked. 'Men.'
'You really want to go first?'
'Of course no. But I'd like the chance to refuse to go first.
Rachel Caine
#34. Says the girl dressed up in formal Goth mourning," Shane said. "Seriously, who buys a black lace veil? You keep that on hand for special occasions, like prom and kid's birthdays?
Rachel Caine
#35. If you ask me if I'm imagining it again, I'm going to punch you out, Dead Man Walking."
Michael raised his eyebrows and glanced at Eve. "He doesn't sound crazy."
"Er," she clarified, "crazier. He sounds like he's back to normal, which is baseline crazy.
Rachel Caine
#36. Tell you what: you can be Glammera the vampire hunter. I'll stick with being manly and heavily armed.
Rachel Caine
#38. How'd you get to be so good at this?"
"I had a good teacher."
"Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass."
"I mean you, dummy."
"Oh.
Rachel Caine
#39. I guess in my beer-soaked mind it would all just magically work out, and she'd be so happy to see me she'd forget about everything else. Because everybody loves having the drunken self-pitying boyfriend banging on their door at, Jesus, four thirty in the morning.
Rachel Caine
#40. Who's your daddy?'
Myrnin stared at him as if he'd gone completely mental. 'Excuse me?
Rachel Caine
#41. I think so," she [Claire] said. "Just watch your back, okay?"
"Nah, Michael's got mine." He [Shane] looked straight into her eyes.
"I've got yours.
Rachel Caine
#43. And about Shane, I swear, if he doesn't snap out of it, I'm going to punch him in the face. Well, punch him in the face and then run like hell.
- Eve Rosser
Rachel Caine
#44. Shane settled his flamethrower more comfortably on his shoulders. "Ladies? After you."
"Rude," Claire said.
"I was being polite!"
"Not when you have a flamethrower.
Rachel Caine
#45. Eeek, Shane said. Nothing. Right, Amazon princess, I got the point.
Rachel Caine
#46. I don't like this, he said. I don't like knowing you can't forgive me, Claire. Please, I said I was sorry, what do you want me to do? Beg?I will. I'll get on my knees right here if you want.
Rachel Caine
#47. Does it hurt?"
He bent his head and lightly kissed her forehead. "Only when I laugh."
"I'll try not to be funny."
"Epic fail, beautiful.
Rachel Caine
#48. In real life, you don't get a reset, and you don't get extra lives, and I got the crap pounded out of me.
Rachel Caine
#49. Bite me, Goth princess," Shane called from the back. "Not literally or anything."
"Maybe you should say that to Michael."
"Not funny, Eve," Michael said.
Eve raised her eyebrows and held her fingers up, measuring off about an inch. "Little bit," she said.
Rachel Caine
#50. Welcome to Morganville.You'll never want to leave.And even if you do ... well, you can't. Sorry about that.
Rachel Caine
#51. Myrnin said softly. And how is it that you do not understand that HERE, in THIS place, this girl belongs to me, not to you?
Rachel Caine
#52. Next time we commit crime, we'll make sure to include him.
Rachel Caine
#53. Faster!" Shane yelled. Eve hit the gas hard, and whipped around a slower-moving van. The firing ceased, at least for now. "You see why I didn't want you to stop?"
"Okay, your father is officially off my Christmas list!" Eve yelled. "Oh my God, look at my car!
Rachel Caine
#55. News flash, lady. There are no queens anymore," Shane said. He loaded shells in a shotgun and snapped it shut, then searched for a place to strap it on that didn't interfere with the flamethrower. "No queens, no kings, no emperors. Not in America. Only CEOs. Same thing, but not so many crowns.
Rachel Caine
#56. I paused in the act of opening the door and looked at him with what were probably cartoon-wide eyes. "Wait a second," I said. "So, you're best friends with a hot vampire chick who likes leather."
"Yeah."
"And together, you fight crime?" I couldn't help it. I cracked up.
Rachel Caine
#57. You look like a Goth factory exploded all over you!" he called as she ran down the hall.
"Love you, too, jackass!
Rachel Caine
#58. I had a good teacher."
"Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass."
"I mean you, dummy.
Rachel Caine
#59. Parents had some kind of sin radar, Claire thought. They always called when you were in the middle of something you just knew they'd consider wrong. Or at least risky.
Rachel Caine
#60. This is the biggest damn IPod I've ever seen," Claire said, which made him choke on his beer. "Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before.
Rachel Caine
#61. You couldn't be romantic if your life depended on it." "You know what's lucky? Most bad guys don't ask you to be romantic on command, so that probably won't matter.
Rachel Caine
#62. Gear up, Warrior Princess. We've got some adventuring to do.
Rachel Caine
#63. Shane:is your distant cousin jack the ripper dropping in for coffee.
eve:screw you collins
Rachel Caine
#64. It's a guy thing. We have reactions to women in tight leather with whips. It's sort of involuntary.
Rachel Caine
#65. They did seem pretty serious about their mayhem.
Rachel Caine
#66. Me neither," Shane put in. "Homie don't play that."
"I wonder, sometimes, if your generation speaks English at all," Amelie said.
Rachel Caine
#67. Pics or it didn't happen."
"Dude, little busy for pics. You know, throwing flame.
Rachel Caine
#68. Shane stood up when he saw her, which made her heart turn cartwheels, and he pulled out her chair. Eve and Michael shared an amused look.
"So cute," Eve said. When Shane glared, she smiled. "No, really. It is. Dude, chill.
Rachel Caine
#69. When I want to be lectured on strategy, I'll consult someone who's actually won battles,' Amelie said. 'Not one who ran away from them.'
'Snap,' Eve said.
'You know what they're talking about?' Shane asked.
'Don't need to know to get that one. She smacked him so hard his momma felt it.
Rachel Caine
#70. She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not ... you know, better."
"Define BETTER with that guy."
"Not all fangs and raaaaar.
Rachel Caine
#71. You sound disappointed." Shane's voice came out faint and thready, and he put his head back against the cushions as he squeezed his eyes shut. "Damn, I hate this. I really do."
I know," Oliver said. "Your blood reeks of it.
Rachel Caine
#72. He held out the hand that wasn't holding up the blankets, palm out. 'OK,' he said. 'OK, think, Collins, think - yeah, OK, this is awkward, and I'm really sorry, because I'm sure you're really - Oh, man. What the hell did I do? Was there drinking? There must have been drinking.
Rachel Caine
#73. Claire stretched out against the wall and kissed it. "Glad to see you, too," she whispered, and pressed her cheek against the smooth surface. It almost felt like it hugged her back.
"Dude, it's a house," Shane said from behind her. "Hug somebody who cares.
Rachel Caine
#74. Because you've got guy parts, you're automatically a better mechanic than me? I don't think so, Eve said, and bailed out of the passenger side.
Rachel Caine
#75. Shane? Thank God, somebody sane. Well, sane-ish.
Rachel Caine
#76. Ahh ... maybe we should be going," Shane said. "Ditch the shoes, Eve. We'll be running now."
"I love these shoes!"
"More than your circulatory system?"
Eve silently kicked off the stilettos and backed up.
Rachel Caine
#77. I'm going to have to give him shit for all this,' Shane said, as he wandered around. 'He lives alone and makes his bed? Who does that?'
'People who like things neat?'
'Its not natural.
Rachel Caine
#78. Stop using him, and start protecting him. I know he thinks he doesn't need it, but sometimes he does. Sometimes we all do.
Rachel Caine
#79. Keys," she repeated, and slowly stepped back. "What do you mean, keys?"
"Car keys. As in, give them up. Now." Shane had that look
hard, and no bullshit. "We don't have time for your drama, Monica. Nobody does.
Rachel Caine
#80. Shane dragged Eve's suitcase into the room and dumped it on the floor beside her bed. Hey, Dark Princess? Here's your crap. Also, bite me.
Rachel Caine
#81. I never did have much, so having it rough came with the territory. I was conditioned for it.
Rachel Caine
#82. Promise me, Amelie, that you'll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love."
"I hardly think there's any chance of that," Amelie said. "I doubt you have the capacity.
Rachel Caine
#83. What did I do?" he said. "Cake! It's cake! Delicious cake!
Rachel Caine
#84. No bacon for you."
"Then no eggs for you. Either of you."
Eve glowered at him. "Prisoner exchange?"
They glared at each other, then swapped pans and started scooping.
Rachel Caine
#85. See?" she heard Shane yell at the kitchen. "She doesn't stomp around like a cattle stampede!"
"Bite me, Collins! No bacon for you, either!
Rachel Caine
#86. Shane held the jewelry at arm's length, dangling it like a dead rat. No way in hell am I caught dead or alive wearing that.
Rachel Caine
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