Say Something Funny Quotes

#1. When I say something funny, I don't laugh. - Author: Blake Lively

#2. Now that your speech impediment has been rectified, perhaps you might say something. It would be best if it were humorous. I enjoy a good jest.'

'You are dreadfully rude,' I said to him.

He sighed. 'That wasn't the slightest bit funny. - Author: Danielle L. Jensen

#3. The most impersonal seeming audiences eventually just say such intimate, smart, wise, amazing, totally surprising, funny things. It's empowering, in the sense of feeling like you're a part of something really important. - Author: Gloria Steinem

#4. He treats the person as if they were fully whole.
We become what others expect us to be. Dad expected me to get better and even assumed I would have something helpful to say. Funny how we rise and fall to the assumptions of others. - Author: Nathan Foster

#5. Think of something to say. Keep him here. Something funny and interesting and cool.
"I put my wellies on because I was sure it was going to rain and now my feet are getting horribly moist," Ellie said, and it was the single worst thing she'd ever said to anyone. - Author: Sarra Manning

#6. With freestyling it's not about "Say something funny!" That has nothing to do with it. It's about becoming quicker on your feet and knowing that your entire day can go into your rap if you're on it. - Author: Doseone

#7. If I think something's funny, I try to mold it into a joke as soon as possible. Once I have a joke, I say it a million different ways on stage until I find a rhythm and it feels like it's as good as it can be. - Author: Michael Che

#8. Have I come at a bad time?" she managed to say without guffawing. I believe I said something on the order of "argh," and compounded my embarrassment by trying to cover myself with the sweatpants I'd picked up off the floor. - Author: Jeffrey Cohen

#9. All my life I've wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought - Author: Robert Breault

#10. I watched 'The Neighbors' when it first came on, and I thought it was hysterical. And every time I think something just tickles my funny bone, I call my agent and say, 'You know, I like this show. If they're ever looking for somebody, I'd like to work with them.' - Author: Rhea Perlman

#11. Nom, do say something funny so she can admire! - Author: Shannon Hale

#12. I always think any circumstances can be funny. Not that I'm irresponsible, but when things go wrong, I always come up with a joke or think of something funny to say. - Author: Brian Helgeland

#13. You don't get the pay-off when you're playing a quiet character, so sometimes you want to just throw out all your work and say, "Okay, let me do something really funny or gimmicky, just so that I can get some attention in this scene." - Author: Viola Davis

#14. I would rather be funny than gorgeous, absolutely. Because it's too hard to be gorgeous, you know. I could make a stab at gorgeous as long as I had something funny to say to get out of it. - Author: Gilda Radner

#15. Let's say something happens, and from a certain slant maybe it's tragic, even a little bit shocking. Then time passes and you go to the funny slant, and now that very same thing can no longer do you any harm. - Author: Carrie Fisher

#16. If you believe, as I do believe, in reincarnation, they say that every time you come back, it's because you have to finish something. I've a funny feeling that my thing in this life is to have one relationship after another. - Author: Marie Helvin

#17. What's funny is I probably still have some calligraphy business cards floating out in the world, and I can't wait for someone to call me in a month or something, and say, 'Can you do these for my son's Bar Mitzvah?' - Author: Meghan Markle

#18. It's funny when people say something is "unreal" about something that is, in reality, real. I'm so guilty of it, it's real! - Author: Ethan Luck

#19. What has been happening more lately - of course, I also put in my bio, I say I do the voice of Goliath, but some people go - you know, I say something, and it's a funny thing when you work in this business, people will talk out loud in front of you like you're not there. - Author: Keith David

#20. If I'm in an uncomfortable situation, I think I can say something funny to defuse it. Sometimes you can't. - Author: Jack Whitehall

#21. I don't know why, but I always feel a kind of necessity to write things that are beyond acceptance, that are too offensive or something. For people to read them and say, Ha-ha-ha, very funny. No, we can't print that. - Author: Terry Southern

#22. I try to think of something catchy to say, but there's nothing but irritation that something that was funny yo an eleven-year-old boy is still funny to a seventeen-year-old one. - Author: Maggie Stiefvater

#23. The next time I move I hope I get a real easy phone number, something like 2222222. People will ask, "Mitch, how do I get a hold of you?" I'll say, "Just press two for a while, when I answer, you'll know that you've pressed two enough." - Author: Mitch Hedberg

#24. What is memory foam? How does it remember things? Does it have its own brain?" Edilyn
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Suffice it to say, it's something future man will thank modern science for. There's also a toilet in the bathroom." Virag
"A what in the who?" Edilyn - Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon

#25. Maybe because I began as a writer, I have a good ear for dialogue, and maybe being an English major - and that I also read a lot as a kid - if I hear somebody say something that I think's funny, or I find a situation or story, I'll try to work that into the movie. - Author: Owen Wilson

#26. When I say something untrue on the air, I mean for it to be transparently untrue. I assume people know when I'm just saying something for effect. Or to be funny. - Author: Ira Glass

#27. It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to. - Author: J.D. Salinger

#28. I wasn't the class clown. I wasn't that obvious. There would be a circle of guys, and they're watching the class clown. And I'm standing in the back, and I turn to the guy next to me and I say something funny to him, and he starts to laugh. And the guy next to him says, 'What did he say?' - Author: Bob Newhart

#29. Robert Altman's 'Nashville' is my all-time favorite film because it covers all the bases - it's original, moving, and has something to say, but also funny and incredibly entertaining. - Author: Douglas Wood

#30. Writing humor for me is more like a watchful-ness. You have to watch. When you say something funny, or someone else does, it's more like you wait for the piece. - Author: Ian Frazier

#31. If boys say something that's not funny, you don't have to laugh. - Author: Amy Poehler

#32. Why didn't you say something sooner! I said He wasn't the only one disgusted. This is my first time on a horse. Really? Blaec said dryly, I couldn't tell. Oh just pretend its my son you're riding. - Author: Sunny

#33. It's funny how when you say "yes" to something (like the man of your dreams), you don't think about the fact that you are also saying "no" to something else. - Author: Amy E. Spiegel

#34. Religions all have the same timeline ... First the people feel the need to worship something. The sun or the giant corn of ear. That's the first thing. Then the guys say okay, now that we've got the giant corn thing going, how can we use it to oppress women? - Author: Carol Anshaw

#35. It's funny how, when you really want to say something bitchy and cutting to someone who's been bitchy to you, you can't think of anything till afterwards. When there's no real call for it, you come suddenly out with a piece of 9-carat bitchery that shakes even you. - Author: Lynne Reid Banks

#36. I sure wasn't going to ask Aunt Sally, because if she told me once that getting your period was like a moth becoming a butterfly, she'd probably say that sexual intercourse was like a deer getting antlers or something. - Author: Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

#37. And at the time, it is funny how you can look at something and say, for example with my shoulder injury, when it first happened I said this is the worst thing that could happen to me. Why me, why now? Now I look back and say it was probably the best thing that happened to me. - Author: Drew Brees

#38. I've never been to a dinner party where everyone at the dinner table didn't say something funny. - Author: Lorrie Moore

#39. One way to tell if you're really comfortable with a person is if you can be quiet together sometimes and not feel awkward. If you don't feel obligated to say something brilliant or funny or surprising or cool. You can just be together. You can just be. - Author: Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

#40. The social dimension of the art world is fascinating to me, but I also want to entertain the reader, so I will let a character say something funny. - Author: Rachel Kushner

#41. You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all. - Author: Lily Tomlin

#42. George Lopez is always on the verge of hilarity. If he could ever think of something funny to say, if he had a funny thought in his mind, he's ready to go. - Author: Andy Kindler

#43. I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor - a very Canadian sense of humor and I am only learning now stupidly that you can't read tongue. When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way. - Author: Michael Buble

#44. And she didn't once say anything about this being a sin. It used to be I got the word sin slapped in my face every time I did something wrong, but come on, when you live in a sin-free family with sin-free parents and a sin-free sister, well, you can't help but sin a little extra on their behalf. - Author: Han Nolan

#45. Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you say something and the whole room goes, 'What did he say?' - Author: Lewis Black

#46. The whole thing reminds me of graduate school seminars, except these people are smart and funny and have something interesting to say. - Author: Sarah Vowell

#47. Which made me laugh, of course. If you ever want to get truly hysterical, just get really, really scared, and then have somebody say something funny. You get caught between the laugh and the sob, and it's hard to find your way out. - Author: Kristen D. Randle

#48. Eventual, as Pug used to say. When he wanted to say something was really good, he's never say it was awesome, like most people do; he'd say it was eventual. How funny is that? The old Pugmeister. I wonder how he's doing. - Author: Stephen King

#49. I love writing both fiction and memoir. Both have unique challenges; bottom line, fiction is hard because you have to come up with the credible, twisty plot, and memoir is hard because you have to say something true and profound, albeit in a funny way. - Author: Lisa Scottoline

#50. You can teach taste, editorial sense, but the ability to say something funny is something I've never been able to teach anyone. - Author: Abe Burrows

#51. People have said to me for a long time, "Man you're funny." I say, "Well, I'm quick," but being funny on purpose, take after take - that's why I said for me it was new territory, and so by improvising something might come out that might be good. And it's film, so they can cut it if it isn't. - Author: Denzel Washington

#52. After doing Johnny I wanted to just do something, I wouldn't say innocent, but to not have any care in the world. Lots of setups and horrible happenings but its funny. - Author: Jhonen Vasquez

#53. Writing about something specific, in my mind, was overwhelming, so I wrote about art because I love art and I know I can say a couple of funny things about art. - Author: Walter Martin

#54. I'm a mumbler. If I'm walking with a friend, and I say something, he says, "What?" So I say it again, and he says, "What?" Really, it's just some insignificant stuff I'm saying, but now I'm yelling, "That tree is far away!" - Author: Mitch Hedberg

#55. I had a dream about you. You were on a bike going 70 miles an hour, I could see you approaching my car in the mirror. You were trying to say something so, I jumped on the brakes as hard as I could, I guess I forgot I had tied your bike on my bumper. - Author: Georgia Saratsioti

#56. Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, "I'm not racist, but ... " I say, "I'm not racist, but you look great today." They say, "That wasn't racist at all." I said, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican." - Author: Demetri Martin

#57. When somebody listens and laughs, you're always in better shape than when you're with those folks who just kind of look at you when you say something funny. You wonder if they're looking at you because they're mad that they didn't say it or something. It's hard to handle that. - Author: Jason Sudeikis

#58. Although it seems shocking to say so, grief is a funny thing. On the one hand, you're numb, yet on the other, something inside is trying desperately to claw its way back to normal: to pull a funny face, to leap out like a jack-in-the-box, to say Smile, damn you, smile! - Author: Alan Bradley

#59. He gave me a rueful smile, his brown eyes so endearing. I could tell he was about to say something funny. I just knew him that well. That's like asking if I'm a fan of cancer. I fucking hate it, but do I know how to get rid of it? Not fucking likely. - Author: R.K. Lilley

#60. Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist. - Author: Sarah Silverman

#61. There's a deep underlying unpredictability to life that is thrilling. In China, my wife would say you go out to buy toilet paper, and you come back, and something interesting or revealing or funny happened on the way. - Author: Evan Osnos

#62. I don't really hashtag things. Unless I'm talking to somebody and I'm being funny and I say something mean but then I'm like, Hashtag ... something that's funny. I like to only hashtag funny things, not real stuff. - Author: Bella Thorne

#63. HECKLER: Say something funny!
COMEDIAN: I don't do requests. - Author: J. Ross Clara

#64. Do you remember the pattern, Livia?"
"Blow ... lick ... bite." Livia wanted to say something cute, something funny, but he licked his lips and she forgot how to make any more words. - Author: Debra Anastasia

#65. A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.' - Author: Penn Jillette

#66. When she looked at him with those dark eyes, Nassar felt the urge to say something intelligent and deeply impressive. Unfortunately, nothing of the kind came to mind. - Author: Ilona Andrews