Rodney Carrington Quotes

#1. I can drink on the job if I want to. I can go on stage with a beer and it's OK. I can say whatever I want. It's a great job to have.

Rodney Carrington

#2. I didn't plan on being a comedian. I didn't plan on getting married and I didn't plan on having kids, but I did all those things.

Rodney Carrington

#3. You can talk about anything if you go about it the right way, which is never malicious.

Rodney Carrington

#4. When I was little, there were three channels.

Rodney Carrington

#5. Hinduism dies if untouchability lives, and untouchability has to die if Hinduism is to live.

Mahatma Gandhi

#6. What am I supposed to do while you're gone? (Shahara)
Think up ways to kill me while I sleep. (Syn)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#7. Discouragement seizes us only when we can no longer count on chance.

George Sand

#8. Maybe my bravery was just a front and all my tough talk was just the bitter residue of a hundred burned bridges. Maybe it was closer to a thousand bridges crumbling at my feet with the ashes swirling around me, catching in my hair and coating my skin like chalk.

S.J. Wright

#9. I didn't realize when I brought him back here that you'd inflict more damage." I said, once I'd finished the story.
"I was defending your honor." Adrian gave me that devil-may-care smile that always managed to both infuriate and captivate me. "Pretty manly, huh?

Richelle Mead

#10. Kids today know way more than you think they do, with the Internet and 500 TV channels.

Rodney Carrington

#11. It would be absurd for me to diagnose Sarah Palin with a sprained ankle, let alone any sort of mental illness.

Nicolle Wallace

#12. If I do the same act that I did in 1995, in essence you're saying (in a robotic voice), 'My mind has never changed'

Rodney Carrington

#13. I thought comedy would be the hardest thing I could do, and if I could do that, I could do anything.

Rodney Carrington

#14. Sunlight is bad,' he wheezes. 'It's the exact same stuff as breeds maggots in wounded soldiers' legs. And when there's no war on, it fades wallpaper.

Michel Faber

#15. Show them to me
Show them to me
Unclasp your bra and
set those puppies free

Rodney Carrington