Top 44 Robert Asprin Quotes
#1. Of all the various unpleasant ways to be aroused from a sound sleep, one of the worst is the noise of a dragon and a unicorn playing tag. Myth Conceptions by Robert Asprin
Robert Asprin
#2. Now that we've got the whole story," he said solemnly, "now you can panic.
Robert Asprin
#3. Earthquakes were extremely uncommon in this area. A dragon and a unicorn playing tag wasn't.
Robert Asprin
#4. What does common sense have to do with it?" he exploded. "We're talking about a job interview!
Robert Asprin
#5. Relax, Skeeve! This'll be easy, Skeeve! Trust me, Skeeve!' Boy Aahz, when you miss a call you don't do it small, do you?"
"Shut up, kid!
Robert Asprin
#6. When things are at their blackest, I say to myself, 'Cheer up, things could be worse.' And sure enough, they get worse.
Robert Asprin
#7. Numerical superiority is of no consequence. In battle, victory will go to the best tactician.- G. A. Custer
Robert Asprin
#9. There's gotta be a way out of this dungeon.- G. Gygax
Robert Asprin
#10. One of the worst ways of being aroused from sound sleep, is by the noise of a dragon and a unicorn playing tag.
Robert Asprin
#11. Please ta meetcha, kid. I'm Aahz."
"Oz?"
"No Relation."
"No relation to what?" I asked, but he was examining the room again.
Robert Asprin
#12. We're kidding on that. One of the things I insisted upon when we went into this project was that we are full partners, going fifty-fifty, both on the money and on the say of what's going on with the books.
Robert Asprin
#13. It's interesting that instead of having to get tighter and more restricted for a collaboration, strangely enough, from the beginning, we've actually been more confident that we could handle this.
Robert Asprin
#14. When old friends get together, everything else fades to insignificance.- War, Famine, Pestilence, and Death
Robert Asprin
#15. To Serve and Protect ... - Traditional Motto of Protection Rackets
Robert Asprin
#16. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall take flack from both sides.- Unofficial UN Motto
Robert Asprin
#18. My colleagues and I feel that independents like ElfQuest are nothing but sheep in wolves' clothing.- S. Lee
Robert Asprin
#19. The basic story for the opener is that word came through the bar that someone got knifed and killed up on the Moon Walk. It turns out to be one of the quarter regulars that everybody knows, including Maestro and Bone.
Robert Asprin
#20. Between you and me, I think that may be one of the things that will help with the collaboration, because there are things Eric thinks I'm moving too quickly on, and there are things I think he's dragging out. When it gets to the editor they can arbitrate.
Robert Asprin
#21. New Orleans life is such a night life. The thing that comes up very often is that our day essentially doesn't start until midnight or 2 in the morning.
Robert Asprin
#22. Are you going to shake my hand,or am I going to rip your heart out?
Robert Asprin
#24. I should of known he was married. I mean, nobody that young is THAT bald unless he's got a wife at home.
Robert Asprin
#25. If the proper preparations have been made and the necessary precautions taken, any staged event is guaranteed success
Ethelred The Unready
Robert Asprin
#26. Run through those time measurements again," Aahz grumbled.
"In seconds, minutes, hours ... "
"Minutes! We've got a few minutes.
Robert Asprin
#27. Why, the man killed over two hundred demons with this sword. They say it is charmed such that whomever wields it cannot be killed by a demon." "How did he die?" "Knifed by an exotic dancer.
Robert Asprin
#28. I am not a slow writer, I am not a fast writer ... I am a half-fast writer.
Robert Asprin
#29. To function efficiently, any group of people or employees must have faith in their leader.- Capt. Bligh(ret.)
Robert Asprin
#30. Invariably it turns out to be who you've been reading in the last couple of weeks, and two hours or two days [on favourite authors
Robert Asprin
#31. Went with one (Assassin) for a while ... lovely lass, but she couldn't keep her mouth shut, even in bed. Sometimes I wonder if any profession really guards its secrets as closely as they claim.
Robert Asprin
#34. In times of crisis, it is of the utmost importance that one does not lose her head.
Marie Antoinette
Robert Asprin
#36. They never let you live it down. One little mistake!- Nero
Robert Asprin
#37. I've had a five- or six-year down-spell as a writer, and now that most of the other contracts are cleared or down to the last book, I have a chance to do what I want to do - specifically, something set in New Orleans.
Robert Asprin
#38. The Demon curled its lips back, revealing a double row of needle-sharp teeth.
I considered changing my chosen course of action; I considered fainting.
Robert Asprin
#41. I have also noted, over the course of our friendship, that his hearing is curiously erratic. He can hear a lizard-bird scratching itself half a mile away, but occasionally seems unable to hear the politest of requests no matter how loudly I shout them at him.
Robert Asprin
#42. Deveels are some of the meanest characters you'd ever not want to tangle with. They're some of the most feared and respected characters in the dimensions."
"Are they warriors? Mercenaries?"
Aahz shook his head.
"Worse!" he answered. "They're merchants.
Robert Asprin
#43. The Dispatcher had played with his phones, calling from one to the other. Then he put them all down and announced that he had them on "hold," a curious expression since it was the first time in half an hour he hadn't been holding one.
Robert Asprin
#44. Diplomacy is the delicate weapon of the civilized warrior.- Hun, A. T.
Robert Asprin
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