Top 6 Quotes For Ur Mom
#1. I flip open my phone to text Jessica:
Me: Guess who's pregnant?
Jess: u?
Me: Get real.
Jess: ur mom?
Me: yep
Jess: Mazel tov!?
Me: Don't congratulate me, plz
Jess: Could b worse
Me: How?
Jess: Could be u?
Me: I'm a virgin.
Jess: Nobody's perfect.
Simone Elkeles
#3. The darkest day of my life was the day I heard of Lincoln's assassination. I did not know what it meant. Here was the rebellion put down in the field, and starting up in the gutters...
Ulysses S. Grant
#4. On game day, if I eat fruit - I usually eat fruit in the mornings - I have to have three pieces of cantaloupe, three pieces of pineapple. Everything's in threes.
Sam Bradford
#5. It is art to conceal art. -Ars est celare artem
Ovid
#6. I don't want to see a dress with a woman. I just want to see a woman, with a beautiful dress.
Alber Elbaz
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