Top 97 Quotes About Life Woody Allen

#1. In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.

Woody Allen

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#2. Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.

Woody Allen

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#3. Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.

Woody Allen

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#4. Showing up is 80% of life.

Woody Allen

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#5. I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again.

Woody Allen

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#6. Life is full of moments that are good - winning a lottery, seeing a beautiful woman, a great dinner - but the whole thing is tragic. It's an oasis that is very pleasant.

Woody Allen

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#7. You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Woody Allen

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#8. The best things in life are censored.

Woody Allen

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#9. I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.

Woody Allen

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#10. It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some say society should be more open. That doesn't work either.

Woody Allen

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#11. Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Woody Allen

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#12. Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

Woody Allen

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#13. Woody Allen once said that 90 percent of life is about showing up. Ninety percent of healing people in psychological pain is shutting up - at least long enough to let them bleed the truth. That sounds easy, but it isn't. (68)

Keith Ablow

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#14. My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.

Woody Allen

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#15. Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety

Woody Allen

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#16. 80% of life is showing up.

Woody Allen

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#17. The food in this place is really terrible. Yes, and such small portions. That's essentially how I feel about life.

Woody Allen

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#18. The whole thrust of science and the medical profession is to try and prevent it from happening, to try to prolong life, to keep you from dying, to keep you from getting older, to rejuvenate you. I mean, that's everybody's wish. The fountain of youth is everybody's sought-after thing.

Woody Allen

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#19. Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.

Woody Allen

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#20. Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Woody Allen

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#21. I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.

Woody Allen

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#22. Life's hard, then you die.

Woody Allen

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#23. Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.

Woody Allen

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#24. I recently turned 60. Practically a third of my life is over.

Woody Allen

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#25. I have a Woody Allen Jewish attitude to life: that it's all going to be disastrous. That it hasn't all been that way is simply down to some random quirk of fate.

Antony Sher

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#26. Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

Woody Allen

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#27. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment.

Woody Allen

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#28. I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't.

Woody Allen

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#29. You'll find as you go through life that great depth and smoldering sensuality don't always win.

Woody Allen

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#30. If I had my choice in life I would have had the gifts of Tennessee Williams or Eugene O'Neill. Unfortunately my gifts lie in comedy and so comedy comes fairly easy to me and I occasionally have an idea for a very serious piece and I do it, but the ideas don't come that readily to me.

Woody Allen

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#31. The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.

Woody Allen

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#32. I believe people ought to mate for life ... like pigeons or Catholics.

Woody Allen

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#33. It's cruel to bring life into this terrible world.

Woody Allen

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#34. You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life

Woody Allen

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#35. If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.

Woody Allen

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#36. I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.

Woody Allen

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#37. In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.

Woody Allen

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#38. You know what my philosophy of life is? That it's important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.

Woody Allen

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#39. I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.

Woody Allen

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#40. All i have in my life is my imagination

Woody Allen

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#41. I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life.

Woody Allen

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#42. All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.

Woody Allen

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#43. I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present.

Woody Allen

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#44. I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.

Woody Allen

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#45. Eternal life is great if you have the clothes for it.

Woody Allen

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#46. Showing up is 80 percent of life.

Woody Allen

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#47. Ninety percent of life is just showing up.

Woody Allen

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#48. I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

Woody Allen

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#49. I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!

Woody Allen

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#50. I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

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#51. People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as bad news and I want everybody to stop sugarcoating it.

Woody Allen

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#52. Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.

Woody Allen

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#53. In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it.

Woody Allen

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#54. I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.

Woody Allen

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#55. I read in self-defense.

Woody Allen

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#56. I've been escaping my whole life. Since I was a little child, I escaped into the movies on the other side as an audience member. I escaped by going into the movies and sitting in the movies all day long.

Woody Allen

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#57. All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Woody Allen

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#58. There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It?s conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.

Woody Allen

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#59. 90% of success in life is showing up

Woody Allen

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#60. One must have one's delusions to live. If you look at life too honestly and clearly, life becomes unbearable because it's a pretty grim enterprise, you will admit.

Woody Allen

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#61. Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.

Woody Allen

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#62. Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Woody Allen

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#63. Woody Allen once said that 'I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.' This is certainly a very wise wish! Whoever grasped the triviality of anything besides the existence is a wise man indeed! There is no substitute for life!

Mehmet Murat Ildan

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#64. You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out

Woody Allen

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#65. Life is like a concentration camp ... you can't leave without dying.

Woody Allen

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#66. Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.

Woody Allen

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#67. Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Woody Allen

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#68. My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.

Woody Allen

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#69. If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Woody Allen

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#70. Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

Woody Allen

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#71. The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?

Woody Allen

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#72. I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.

Woody Allen

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#73. Woody Allen said that 95% of history is explained as a man trying to impress a woman. And that's true in my life.

Mitt Romney

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#74. It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.

Woody Allen

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#75. They confuse everything I do with my life.

Woody Allen

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#76. Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.

Woody Allen

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#77. If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life [than a non-believer].

Woody Allen

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#78. Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!

Woody Allen

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#79. Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things.

Woody Allen

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#80. My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively.

Woody Allen

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#81. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Woody Allen

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#82. Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.

Woody Allen

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#83. Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.

Woody Allen

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#84. For some reason it gives people pleasure to equate the life of certain movie actors or actresses with their actual lives.

Woody Allen

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#85. There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope with it ...

Woody Allen

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#86. Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?

Woody Allen

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#87. Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.

Woody Allen

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#88. Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.

Woody Allen

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#89. Life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do.

Woody Allen

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#90. The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.

Woody Allen

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#91. I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.

Woody Allen

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#92. My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Woody Allen

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#93. While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.

Woody Allen

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#94. I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.

Woody Allen

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#95. You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.

Woody Allen

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#96. If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.

Woody Allen

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#97. [ ... ] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.

Woody Allen

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