Jokes On Life Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 58 famous quotes and sayings about jokes on life to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 58 Quotes About Jokes On Life

#1. Here are some of the best Minecraft jokes for kids. Player 1: If creepers would actually invade my house in real life, I would throw them some nuts and bolts. Player 2: That's really lame. Why would you do that? Player 1: Because I'm sssssssscrewed! - Author: Max Tyler
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#2. Everyone thinks I'm a coward. This is my chance to prove them wrong." "Don't throw your life away because of a few jokes made at your expense," said Hugh. "Who gives a whit what anyone else thinks? - Author: Ransom Riggs
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#3. Get it into your thick head that jokes are just like life. Things that begin badly, end badly. Everything's fine in the middle, it's the end you need to worry about. - Author: Laszlo Krasznahorkai
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#4. Life is a joke that's just begun. - Author: W.S. Gilbert
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#5. I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn't notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway. - Author: Michael Summers
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#6. Fuck quotes, live your life. - Author: Anonymous
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#7. Life would be perfect if monster would stop farting. - Author: David Chuka
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#8. I can't cuss and tell jokes the rest of my life. I gotta say something meaningful. I gotta give something back to a Creator who has given so much to me. - Author: Steve Harvey
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#9. As a child of privilege, no one is your friend. They will claim to be your friends, they will laugh at your jokes and invite you to their parties, but they do not like you. They like your power, they like what you will become someday. - Author: Orson Scott Card
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#10. If you think the worst you'll get the worst, but if you think the best ... "
"and then everything will blow up in your face anyway. Don't you get the punchline yet? Its the great cosmic practical joke: Knock knock, who's there? Big kick in the Ass. - Author: Brad Meltzer
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#11. You think you know everything. But you don't. Life and people are right in front of you and you act superior and make jokes but it's just a cover for the fact that you're scared. - Author: Marisha Pessl
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#12. I'm just having fun making jokes and writing books. But you see me once a year, I come on when I have a new book out, but basically, I've got my nose to the grindstone and I'm doing what I'm supposed to do in life, which is make stories. - Author: T.C. Boyle
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#13. Peace does not walk up to our doorsteps and press the calling bell! We have to go out there and search for it. - Author: Avijeet Das
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#14. I want everything with you, America. I want the holidays and the birthdays, the busy season and lazy weekends. I want peanut butter fingertips on my desk. I want inside jokes and fights and everything. I want a life with you. - Author: Kiera Cass
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#15. The studying, the books, exams, arguments, theories. The jokes and pints, laughter, kisses and songs. Life was like running, ninety percent sweat and toil, ten per cent joy. - Author: Siobhan Dowd
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#16. I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I'm on stage, I'm at a microphone ... it's a joke! - Author: Kathy Griffin
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#17. I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage. - Author: Kathleen Madigan
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#18. They can crack jokes. They can sit back and analyze and criticize and make all the fun they want. But I'm living my life, I'm doing it. What are you doing? - Author: Kai Greene
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#19. God is always joking. Look at your own life - it is a joke! Look at other people's lives, and you will find jokes and jokes and jokes. Seriousness is illness; seriousness has nothing spiritual about it. Spirituality is laughter, spirituality is joy, spirituality is fun. - Author: Rajneesh
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#20. You walked in, with your ridiculous clothes and your bad jokes and your complete inability to ever hide a single thing you felt. You changed my life so much more than this money will ever change yours. - Author: Jojo Moyes
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#21. I spent the first 22 years of my life absorbing everything, like a big disgusting cell, and now I'm disgorging it with jokes added out into the world. That's a really gross metaphor. - Author: Mallory Ortberg
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#22. As comedians, we are all laughing because life is so horrible. Life is so difficult, and I cope with it by making jokes about absolutely everything. - Author: Joan Rivers
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#23. We humans are not born alone; joining and being active in a club whose members share your passion for ideas and get your jokes is one of the great joys of life. - Author: Richard Lederer
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#24. I don't want to be 60 years old standing on stage telling some jokes. I want my life to mean something. - Author: Steve Harvey
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#25. If you think of the people who are funny in your life, you'll note it's not because they tell jokes, it's because of their character. If you develop characters, then you'll know them, and you'll know how they'll speak. The comedy will come out of the character. - Author: Anne Beatts
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#26. Life, like the boring drunk at the office party, keeps seeking you out, leaning on you, killing you with pointless yarns and laughing bad-breathed in your face at its own unfunny jokes. - Author: Glen Duncan
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#27. Their whole life, they're the center of attention. People want to be around them just because they're attractive. Their jokes are funnier. Their lives are better. And then suddenly, they get bags under their eyes or they put on a little weight and no one cares about - Author: Karin Slaughter
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#28. I got a pit bull from a shelter, so my whole life is centered on this dog, and I've been writing a lot of dog jokes. I should probably give up now, because I'm writing jokes about my dog. - Author: Joe Mande
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#29. There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation. - Author: Larry David
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#30. A man could shoot a squirrel out of a tree from a distance of sixty feet. But he couldn't vomit into a bucket or pee into a pot only two feet away. It was one of the great mysteries of life. - Author: Maggie Osborne
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#31. I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me. - Author: Steven Wright
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#32. All my life, my immediate response to emotional pain has been to make jokes. Lots of jokes. - Author: Karen Salmansohn
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#33. One of the great jokes of life is that by the time you're old enough to recognize how little you know, all you can do is mop up the aftermath, dump it in a giant personal hazmat container and move on. - Author: Virginia DeBerry
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#34. The preacher who jests and jokes with his people all week will soon find that he cannot stand in his pulpit on Sunday with power to reprove, rebuke and exhort. He may be the life of the party but it will be the death of the prophet. - Author: Vance Havner
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#35. There's much we can all do for men, including helping them feel wanted without their having to do anything life threatening. Perhaps women always knew this instinctively, which is why we tend to flatter our men and laugh at all their jokes, letting them think they're funnier than women. - Author: Faye Flam
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#36. It was a somber place, haunted by old jokes and lost laughter. Life, as I discovered, holds no more wretched occupation than trying to make the English laugh. - Author: Malcolm Muggeridge
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#37. Make jokes. No stress. Love. Live Life. Proceed. Progress. - Author: Lil' Wayne
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#38. I'm kind of a rebound junkie. So. when a relationship goes sour, I look at the sweetness in life elsewhere. So, I date a bit. The best catharsis is to write jokes and tell 4,000 people about it. - Author: Vir Das
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#39. Surfing is kind of a good metaphor for the rest of life.
The extremely good stuff - chocolate and great sex and weddings and hilarious jokes - fills a minute portion of an adult lifespan.
The rest of life is the paddling: work, paying bills, flossing, getting sick, dying. - Author: Jaimal Yogis
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#40. It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one. - Author: Rick Riordan
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#41. Another one of life's little jokes. I thought it was a tumor 'til it started to kick. - Author: Sue Grafton
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#42. I have a lot of people in my life who are truly ridiculous characters, and they're very, very funny people, but they don't really try to be. They're not cracking jokes. - Author: Emile Hirsch
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#43. Seinfeld has his way of telling jokes - and I'm not comparing myself to Seinfeld, his genius is observing the small details of everyday life and finding humor in it. - Author: Nick Kroll
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#44. What I do know is I've got a brain filled with jokes I can't forget - like a tumor the size of a grapefruit inside of my skull. And I know that eventually even dog shit turns white and stops stinking, but I have this permanent head filled with crap I've been trained my whole life to think is funny. - Author: Chuck Palahniuk
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#45. Watson loved them sour kind of jokes, which I enjoyed myself. I mean, ain't life some kind of a sour joke? Might's well laugh, that's the way him and me seen it, whether nice folks seen the joke or not. One time when Watson caught me grinning along with him, he give a wink and lifted up his hat. - Author: Peter Matthiessen
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#46. The main jokes in this film are about big things, love and life and zombies - we all get that. - Author: Simon Pegg
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#47. A good joke is life laughing at itself. - Author: Marty Rubin
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#48. It seems to me that the good lord in his infinate wisdom gave us three things to make life bearable- hope, jokes, and dogs. But the greatest of these was dogs. - Author: Robyn Davidson
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#49. A friend of mine jokes that I have a painstaking royalty complex. Like maybe I was a duke in a past life. - Author: Frank Ocean
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#50. That family glaze of common references, jokes, events, calamities-that sense of a family being like a kitchen midden: layer upon layer of the things daily life is made of. The edifice that lovers build is by comparison delicate and one-dimensional. - Author: Laurie Colwin
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#51. Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags. - Author: Fakeer Ishavardas
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#52. In entertainment, I adore Ricky Gervais in 'Derek.' His performance is unbelievably charming, funny and poignant. In life, I adore my girlfriend. She is the most adorable person I have ever met - from her silly jokes to her cute teeth to her little drawings. - Author: Josh Zuckerman
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#53. As a wolf, I'm a diamond in the rough. I crack jokes. My whole life is about trying, about speaking up in order to be seen, about howling with laughter or howling out how I see the world. - Author: Jessi Klein
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#54. When I got back into show business in 1961, I felt - for obvious reasons - that nothing in my life went right, and I realized that millions of people felt the same way. So when I first came
back my catch phrase was "nothing goes right." Early on, that was my setup for a lot of jokes. - Author: Rodney Dangerfield
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#55. I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage. - Author: Anthony Jeselnik
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#56. They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us, but it always seemed to me that in those who make jokes in life the seeds are covered with better soil and with a higher grade of manure. - Author: Ernest Hemingway,
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#57. My life is passed in making bad jokes and seeing them turn into true prophecies. - Author: G.K. Chesterton
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#58. Everything in Scripture has the force of law. What it teaches we are to believe; what it commands, we are to do. We should take its wisdom to heart, imitate its heroes, laugh at its jokes, trust its promises, and sing its songs. - Author: John Frame
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