Quotes About Jokes Going Too Far

#1. Your sense of humor needs some work, then,' Wesley suggested. 'Most girls find my jokes charming.'
'Those girls must have IQs low enough to trip over.

Kody Keplinger

#2. I am the illegal alien of commentary. I will do the jokes that no one else will do.

Ann Coulter

#3. There were some particular themes that I knew I wanted to hit, and when I got deeper into the project I found that it was becoming serious in and on its own. By the end, it's not very funny at all. I think, now, that part of the power of the book is that the jokes are kind of sparkly distractions.

Moshe Kasher

#4. How can one better magnify the Almighty than by sniggering with him at his little jokes, particularly the poorer ones?

Samuel Beckett

#5. Some jokes are less agreeable than others

Harriet Beecher Stowe

#6. Lend's dad, two werewolves, and a vampire. It was like the setup to a bad joke or something. A doctor, two werewolves, and a vampire walk into a bar. "What'll you have?" the bartender asks. "We were thinking him," the vampire answers, eyeing the doctor.
Okay, jokes weren't my strong point.

Kiersten White

#7. And spare me the jokes about scoring."
"Dammit, woman, you read my mind," he said. "Is there no filthy wordplay you can't forsee?"
"It's my special magical power. I can read your mind when you're thinking dirty thoughts."
"So, ninety-five percent of the time.

Cassandra Clare

#8. On Anzac Day, coffee and jokes with a Turk might be the most meaningful and fair dinkum dawn service you could possibly have.

Michael Leunig

#9. A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it.

Michael Showalter

#10. I try to write three jokes every morning, although I don't know what they are. I write them as fast as I can, then I put them away for a month. So I couldn't even tell you what they are, or if they're good. I just assume they weren't.

Anthony Jeselnik

#11. What's painful is that what you had together, all your inside jokes and favorite restaurants and that movie you both loved but everyone else hated - that's gone, and there's no replacement for it, you never replicate it, never get to have it ever again ...

Kim Culbertson

#12. Nurse: "You look like a pharmaceutical rep. you can leave samples in the closet."
Joe: "I'm actually a lawyer."
Nurse: "My condolences.

Jodi Picoult

#13. All of a sudden Yutaka realized he had created a cloud of dust all around him. Oh no! No! This sucks. This blows more than your mama! Hey, now's not the time to come up with stupid jokes!

Koushun Takami

#14. A joke is a witticism or play on words that's meant to be funny. I say 'meant to be' because most jokes aren't funny. They range between mildly amusing and grimace-inducingly annoying.

Michael Monroe

#15. He said he wouldn't stay, as he didn't care much for the smell of the paint, and fell over the scraper as he went out. Must get the scraper removed, or else I shall get into a scrape. I don't often make jokes.

George Grossmith

#16. I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted to go out on this chat show we were on to laugh with me. Now he's ruined it. I can't make another joke about him.

Joan Rivers

#17. I was never able to analyze my own performance that way I can now. I've realized why certain actors work. I think I'm very in control of what I do in there now. I know how to listen, how to make it real and how not to go to jokes, but to go for a sense of reality.

Steve Dildarian

#18. It's so hard to be sassy to the Fair Folk. You people never get jokes

Cassandra Clare

#19. They didn't have to be funny - they were father jokes.

Terry Pratchett

#20. When I was younger, I listened to the greats: Winters, Mel and Carl, Nichols and May, Pryor, Carlin, Klein, Berman and lots of Lenny Bruce albums. But once I started doing fairly well, I didn't want to hear anybody's jokes or premises.

Richard Lewis

#21. Patriotism is a joke in the UK.

Matt Tong

#22. For all the jokes and complaints about the aches of air travel, it's pretty marvelous, if you think about it.

Tsh Oxenreider

#23. The primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy.

G.K. Chesterton

#24. Brad Pitt is great fun. He jokes around all the time and has a real quality about him. On set the director called me over and said, 'Jase, just watch him. Watch him move.' Instead of walking, Brad literally glides. It's incredible.

Jason Flemyng

#25. The Dalai Lama took the Archbishop's hand, and then they were more eight than eighty, laughing and making jokes together as they strolled toward the terminal, yellow umbrella sheltering above them. Even

Dalai Lama XIV

#26. Some comics have long routines to get them in the mood - I just prefer to sit down, write out the same jokes in a different order and then have a little prayer that I won't be met by silence.

Jack Whitehall

#27. Say,' I said. "What brings you out here at this hour of the morning, for a thing like this?"

'The bus,' he said.

Hunter S. Thompson

#28. There was a sea of change in comedy in the late 1950s and '60s. We were dealing with vignettes as opposed to jokes. We were more socially aware.

Bob Newhart

#29. A joke is like building a mousetrap from scratch. You have to work pretty hard to make the thing snap when it is supposed to snap.

Kurt Vonnegut

#30. Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred 'Chuckles' Jenkins, Britain's oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred's jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence.

Ronnie Barker