Top 100 Phyllis Quotes
#1. A harem is not a brothel, as so many Westerners erroneously believe. It is merely the women's living quarters. Male relatives can join them
but no male nonrelatives may do so. It is hardly a den of eroticism.
Phyllis Chesler
#2. We Californians are constantly accused of not having seasons, but we do. We have fire, flood, mud, and drought.
Phyllis Diller
#3. There were so many of these moments that could never be captured accurately, even in the camcorder, only in the heart.
Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
#4. I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
#5. I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.
Phyllis Diller
#6. I finally had a ship tattooed to my chest. I wanted something on it.
Phyllis Diller
#7. Sisters are always drying their hair. Locked into rooms, alone, they pose at the mirror, shoulders bare, trying this way and that their hair, or fly importunate down the stair to answer the telephone.
Phyllis McGinley
#8. Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
Phyllis Diller
#9. The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids ... and when you're away from them, who needs it?.
Phyllis Diller
#11. Writing, for me, is the best occupation I can think of, and there is nothing in the world I would rather do.
Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
#12. Well, I think that in every character there are little bits and pieces of yourself.
Phyllis Smith
#14. Marriage was all a woman's idea and for man's acceptance of the pretty yoke, it becomes us to be grateful.
Phyllis McGinley
#15. I think it's healthy to say, 'I'm 58 and, do you know what, this is what a 58-year-old woman looks like.'
Phyllis Logan
#17. I don't believe that everybody should be paid the same. I believe in equal pay for equal work.
Phyllis Schlafly
#18. When we refuse to accept our limitations, Nature, who is a stern realist, pays us out.
Phyllis Bottome
#19. My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller
#20. I look at you, Mrs. Emily. I see your eyes smile before your lips. Your hair has a curl that droops onto your forehead when the weather is humid . . .
I look at you too, Sabine. I see you.
Phyllis H. Moore
#21. The advance planning and sense stimuli employed to capture a $10 million cigarette or soap market are nothing compared to the brainwashing and propaganda blitzes used to ensure control of the largest cash market in the world: the Executive Branch of the United States Government.
Phyllis Schlafly
#22. Life was a series of messes, and one spent one's time cleaning them up; if one had any heart at all one also gave a part of one's time to cleaning up those of other people.
Phyllis Bottome
#23. The Silence of Shame, Empowers the Abuser"
. Phyllis Hain
Phyllis Hain
#25. The men sometimes do a better job of concealing their hate than the women. With the feminists, you can see it in their faces.
Phyllis Schlafly
#26. My loneliness turned itself inside out and I grew myself a kind of perverse pride.
Phyllis Gotlieb
#28. The trouble with gardening is that is does not remain an avocation. It becomes an obsession.
Phyllis McGinley
#29. The most dangerous area where our laws are not being faithfully executed are the laws designed to protect Americans against the millions of aliens who enter our country illegally every year.
Phyllis Schlafly
#30. [On plastic surgery:] When I die, God won't know me. There are no two parts of my body the same age.
Phyllis Diller
#31. Kindness is a virtue neither modern nor urban. One almost unlearns it in a city. Towns have their own beatitude; they are not unfriendly; they offer a vast and solacing anonymity or an equally vast and solacing gregariousness. But one needs a neighbor on whom to practice compassion.
Phyllis McGinley
#33. My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life.
Phyllis Diller
#34. ... and I'm thinking how nothing is as simple as you guess-not right or wrong, not Judd Travers, not even me or this dog I got here. But the good part is I saved Shiloh and opened my eyes some. Now that ain't bad for eleven.
Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
#35. No country in history ever sent mothers of toddlers off to fight enemy soldiers until the United States did this in the Iraq war.
Phyllis Schlafly
#36. Some wives have model husbands, I got one that needed remodeling.
Phyllis Diller
#37. All I ever learned at my mother's knee was what a bony knee looked like.
Phyllis Diller
#38. I sing Connecticut, her charms / Of rivers, orchards, blossoming ridges. / I sing her gardens, fences, farms, / Spiders and midges.
Phyllis McGinley
#39. It seemed wrong that flowers could bloom, the world be so beautiful, after so much destruction.
Phyllis Edgerly Ring
#40. We have far too many kids. At one time in the playpen there was standing-room only. It looked like a bus stop for midgets. It used to get so damp in there, we'd have a rainbow above it.
Phyllis Diller
#41. I have often thought," she said, "that women are the only true adults in the world, and men are a species of children. When babies are born, when the sick are struggling for life, when the old die, you will see women about, but rarely men.
Phyllis T. Smith
#42. Before you get married you should meet your fiance's parents. It is not enough that you like his parole officer.
Phyllis Diller
#43. Shunning the upstart shower, / The cold and cursory scrub, / I celebrate the power / That lies within the Tub.
Phyllis McGinley
#44. Say what you will, making marriage work is a woman's business. The institution was invented to do her homage; it was contrived for her protection. Unless she accepts it as such
as a beautiful, bountiful, but quite unequal association
the going will be hard indeed.
Phyllis McGinley
#45. History must always be taken with a grain of salt. It is, after all, not a science but an art ...
Phyllis McGinley
#46. The feminist movement taught women to see themselves as victims of an oppressive patriarchy ... Self-imposed victimhood is not a recipe for happiness.
Phyllis Schlafly
#47. The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.
Phyllis Diller
#49. Camille Paglia is: 'the nipple-pierced person's Phyllis Schlafly who poses as a sexual renegade but is in fact the most dutiful of patriarchal daughters.
Naomi Wolf
#50. I believe the public schools are the greatest cultural influence in this country.
Phyllis Schlafly
#51. Praise is warming and desirable. But it is an earned thing. It has to be deserved, like a hug from a child.
Phyllis McGinley
#52. Putting women in military combat is the cutting edge of the feminist goal to force us into an androgynous society.
Phyllis Schlafly
#53. My unanticipated success as a sportscaster is a perfect example of the importance of saying yes to yourself, even when you are uncertain.
Phyllis George
#54. I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.
Phyllis Diller
#55. Wherever conversation's flowing, / Why must I feel it falls on me / To keep things going?
Phyllis McGinley
#56. I know, but if I feel this bad for Gramps, how am I going to feel when it's Dad?" Tyler told me.
"You'll feel even worse, of course, but you'll carry on, because happiness has a way of creeping in again. It really does," I said.
Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
#57. Prayer's value is not that it makes challenges go away,
but that it changes my perception and experience within them.
~ Life at First Sight: Finding the Divine in the Details
Phyllis Edgerly Ring
#59. For her fifth wedding, the bride wore black and carried a scotch and soda.
Phyllis Battelle
#60. Religion is such a medieval idea. Don't get me started. I have thought about every facet of religion, and I can't buy any of it.
Phyllis Diller
#62. Big Brother is on the march. A plan to subject all children to mental health screening is underway, and the pharmaceuticals are gearing up for bigger sales of psychotropic drugs.
Phyllis Schlafly
#63. Artists are exposed to great temptations: their eyes see paradise before their souls have reached it, and that is a great danger.
Phyllis Bottome
#65. Any judge who allows an adulterer with a live-in girlfriend to terminate the life of his wife should be impeached.
Phyllis Schlafly
#66. I am never at picnics. The ground was not meant to be sat upon in its raw state, I feel sure, and I prefer my food without either caterpillars or drafts!
Phyllis Bottome
#68. Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won't run.
Phyllis Diller
#70. I wonder how often not the intention but the desire springs up in a doctor's mind: 'Can I let this human being out of the trap of Life?
Phyllis Bottome
#71. One solution might be to impose the duty on admissions officers to arbitrarily admit only half women and half men.
Phyllis Schlafly
#72. What most people tell you a confidence for is to get something off their chest which hasn't really been on it. They don't necessarily want to hide the truth from you, but they're out to hide it from themselves
Phyllis Bottome
#73. When buying a new house ... Buy the house far enough away from school so your kids can't come home for lunch.
Phyllis Diller
#74. Many 'natural' events - like early death, disease, hardship - are neither desirable nor necessary.
Phyllis Chesler
#75. Death deceives relations often, and doctors sometimes, but the patient - never.
Phyllis Bottome
#76. Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
Phyllis Diller
#77. The two best subjects for conversation are talking shop and making love.
Phyllis Bottome
#78. [President-elect George W] Bush has reached out to these other groups like Blacks and Hispanics ... He ought to do his reaching out to the people who elected him.
Phyllis Schlafly
#80. It is long overdue for parents to realize they have the right and duty to protect our children against the intolerant evolutionists.
Phyllis Schlafly
#81. You don't go after poetry, you take what comes. Maybe the gods do it through me but I certainly do a hell of a lot of the work.
Phyllis Gotlieb
#82. I hate that phrase: move on. Like no matter what happened or what you did, you just "move on," and that's supposed to make everything all right.
Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
#83. The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.
Phyllis Diller
#84. Marriage is a lot of things-an alliance, a sacrament, a comedy, or a mistake; but it is definitely not a partnership because that implies equal gain. And every right-thinking woman knows the profit in matrimony is by all odds hers.
Phyllis McGinley
#85. Meek-eyed parents hasten down the ramps To greet their offspring, terrible from camps.
Phyllis McGinley
#86. If you find yourself caring for a relative with dementia, the chances are you'll need help.
Phyllis Logan
#87. Later, Phyllis said that the one thing she remembered above all else about that week was the rain. A cold, driving rain from low-hanging clouds that never let up and never let the sun peek through. But then, that Sunday morning as she pulled her car into the hospital
Eben Alexander
#88. Every hen thinks she has laid the best egg! Can we not all believe as we choose? But the choice of others - what is that to us? Let them alone ...
Phyllis Bottome
#89. Choose a checked or striped wall paper. People will be halfway home before they are able to focus.
Phyllis Diller
#90. I would soar like a bird, solitary, unmated, but untrammeled.
Phyllis T. Smith
#91. Your husband drinks too much if he says he never drinks alone, but considers the goldfish somebody.
Phyllis Diller
#92. Phyllis Diller came through a mine field of male comedians when she arrived on the comedy scene and she defused them all. She won her place in the Hall of Comedy as the First Lady. I will miss her.
Tim Conway
#94. Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush.
Phyllis Diller
#95. Feminists have convinced themselves that any difference between men and women is oppression and that women in the United States are an oppressed minority. This is such a lie. American women are the most fortunate class of people who ever lived on the face of the earth.
Phyllis Schlafly
#96. The claim that American women are downtrodden and unfairly treated is the fraud of the century.
Phyllis Schlafly
#97. I think we will have a boy baby and he will be born on the 20th of August. Everyone else has a girl baby and at times I don't believe I should mind having a little Phyllis Dawn but Dearest wants a boy and I do.
Dawn Powell
#98. Ah! some love Paris, / And some Purdue. / But love is an archer with a low I.Q. / A bold, bad bowman, and innocent of pity. / So I'm in love with / New York City.
Phyllis McGinley
#99. Biographies are a little like marriages: You only have room in your life for one or two.
Phyllis Rose
#100. Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it. Some of them are pretty. They don't all look like Bella Abzug.
Phyllis Schlafly
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