Top 30 No Time For Your Girlfriend Quotes
#1. I mean, you can't have sex until you're married if you're Mormon. The first time I had sex, my parents found out. They were listening in on the phone while I was talking about sex to my girlfriend. They freaked out, man. They both cornered me in my bedroom.
Bert McCracken
#2. And so we go and I meet his parents. And it's a very strange thing meeting your girlfriend's boyfriend's parents for the first time. Part of you is angry for obvious reasons and part of you still wants to make a good impression. On a side note, they seemed in perfect health.
Mike Birbiglia
#3. Aside from blow jobs, though, I'm through with being the perfect girlfriend, just through with it. Then if he's sore with me, let him dump my ass. That will just give me more time to be a genius.
Sheila Heti
#4. That time in Seattle - during the lawsuit - was a fucking nightmare. I came out of it dead broke, without a house, without anything except a girlfriend and a knowledge of UNIX." "Well, that's something," Avi says. "Normally those two are mutually exclusive.
Neal Stephenson
#5. My girlfriend is much better than I am at working hard then resting, and she demands that from me, too. She insists on having time when we don't do anything. We leave the housework and watch a movie.
Cynthia Nixon
#6. Girlfriends are vital ... Maggie [Gyllenhaal] and I will always see each other when Maggie's in London or I'm here. We'll always make time to sit and catch up properly.
Emma Thompson
#7. He said I was a pretty little thing."
I kiss her again. "You are."
"He called me a broad."
Another kiss. "He did."
"He said I was your girlfriend."
I kiss her once more, this time deeper. "I heard.
J.M. Darhower
#8. Beauty, my first girlfriend said to me, is that inner quality often associated with great amounts of leisure time.
Dorothy Allison
#9. You throw the kitchen sink at your early books. You put everything in there. It's like when you meet a new girlfriend or boyfriend, you tell them all your best stories. By the time you have been married for 10 years, they are crying, 'Shut up!'
Mark Billingham
#10. How many solutions are found to family problems if we take time to reflect? If we think of a husband or wife and we dream about their good qualities that they have? Don't ever lose the illusion of when you were boyfriend and girlfriend!
Pope Francis
#11. Girl you spent time with not drinking and screwing. Girl you hang out with when you could have been doing something else. Girl you spent quality time with. Girl you do nice things for. Girl you want to smooch all night."
He laughs once. "I guess that makes you my girlfriend.
Elle Casey
#12. Big story at the Olympics regarding Michael Phelps. He stepped out with his girlfriend for the first time. She is a 25-year-old model from Los Angeles. Like every other model in L.A., She's dating an older retired guy. What's going on?
Conan O'Brien
#13. It's so weird to say this about the icon and legend that is Cher, but she's like an old girlfriend. We still talk all the time. She's an incredible person personally and professionally, giving such amazing advice, stories for days, been there done that. She's one of a kind.
Christina Aguilera
#14. I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.
Mitch Hedberg
#15. I hang on to the statement of scientists that there is no time. Therefore, join me in telling everyone you are thirty-two. This allows me to go after young men and plan grabbing husbands from my girlfriends. Choosing to live in the timeless, I am now at the easiest and happiest time of my life.
Beatrice Wood
#16. There aren't a lot of movies being made about women, period. Most of the time, the roles that are available are the sidekick, the friend, the girlfriend or the wife, and they just aren't that interesting.
Zoe Kazan
#17. My first real kiss was in seventh grade. It was at the movie 'Hardball,' starring Keanu Reeves, and it was with my little sixth grade girlfriend. It was the first time we were alone. Her mom was sitting two rows in front of us!
Matt Prokop
#18. But I'm tired of coming out. All I ever do is come out. I try not to change, but I keep changing, in all these tiny ways. I get a girlfriend. I have a beer. And every freaking time, I have to reintroduce myself to the universe all over again.
Becky Albertalli
#19. Family time was hard when it was your own family, it had to be twice as hard when you were the girlfriend.
Jennifer Close
#20. And on this night, the last of its kind before we get married to each other at the stroke of 8 tomorrow in the evening, as I walk towards my bed to call the day off, the last puff of wind brought from a fairy-tale land urges me to write this letter as your girlfriend, for one last time.
Debalina Haldar
#21. I'm trying to teach my girlfriend how to surf. But I just end up yelling at her the whole time. Because I don't know how to surf.
Anthony Jeselnik
#22. The bad ones want you to work around them and their time and the decent ones want too much time. I just don't have it. I am in grind mode. I do not have time to be a mother, a student, a home health care worker and a girlfriend to someone. Now a fuck partner, yea I could get with that.
M.J. Sparks
#23. At first I was always cast as the girlfriend. It was a long time before I got to play characters who were people.
Jacqueline Bisset
#24. You think it hurts your feelings that girls talk about you behind your back, until they tell you to your face. And they each wanted a turn. Every time, it started with 'girlfriend' and ended with 'bitch.
Jennifer Echols
#25. I love to cook and really enjoy cleaning my house. People always tease me about getting a maid. My girlfriend tells me that they are only $40 and will do everything. But that is my time to unwind, put my hair in a ponytail, throw on sweats, and be myself.
Amy Weber
#26. My girlfriend at the time convinced me to send these songs to Cavity Search. When they wanted to put out my record I was totally shocked.
Elliott Smith
#27. I thought that I was going to be Mrs. Michael Jackson, but I was ready at 20 and 21 to get married, and he was not even close to getting married or having a girlfriend at that time, but yes, we dated. We dated for a while.
Stephanie Mills
#28. One of the problems, hanging out with me, is that I can turn any topic into a toxic horror story. I've lost two girlfriends and a job by reading an ingredients label out loud, with annotations, at the wrong time.
Neal Stephenson
#29. Men, if you're traveling with your wife or girlfriend and she mentions that it's time to start looking for a restaurant, you need to sit up and take notice. This means her blood sugar level has dropped and, for you, it ought to be a red alert with flashing lights and sirens. Get that woman fed!
John Gray
#30. I've been insane for a long time. An ex-girlfriend of mine once asked, "Is it true that all comedians are depressed?," and I said, "Every one I know is."
Jason Gann
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