Nic Sheff Quotes

#1. As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are - what others say is irrelevant.

Nic Sheff

#2. And that leaves you with an interesting choice ... Do you sacrifice you own happiness and feelings of peace in order to have this relationship, or do you start to get well and choose a real life ... ?

Nic Sheff

#3. It's like if the music is loud enough I won't be able to listen to my own thoughts.

Nic Sheff

#4. It was like being in a car with the gas pedal slammed down to the floor and nothing to do but hold on and pretend to have some semblance of control. But control was something I'd lost a long time ago.

Nic Sheff

#5. Now is now ... There is nothing but now and I try to hold on to that. The past is gone, the future hasn't happened yet. This, right here, is all there is.

Nic Sheff

#6. We only have this one moment: NOW.

Nic Sheff

#7. Again, fix the outsides and maybe my insides won't be such a dark place.

Nic Sheff

#8. Maybe having schizophrenia is my big fuck-you to the status quo. Only, I guess at this point, being normal and well-adjusted would be, like, the biggest fuck-you of them all. So I guess I'll just try to shoot for that, if I can.

Nic Sheff

#9. Sure, I buried it. I buried it and buried it and turned away from everything light and sweet and delicate and lovely and became so scared and scarred and burdened and fucked up. But that goodness is there, inside - it must be.

Nic Sheff

#10. I don't want you to worry about protecting my feelings or your father's or anybody's. When you were little you always tried to make everyone ahppy. Then it was like one day you just exploded.

Nic Sheff

#11. They say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. the problem with being human isn't really so temporary.

Nic Sheff

#12. We go out into this fucked up world together.

Nic Sheff

#13. I feel just, you know, defeated.

Nic Sheff

#14. They don't have to struggle like I do - or maybe that's just me comparing my goddamn insides to everyone else's outsides.

Nic Sheff

#15. Through Nic's drug addiction, I have learned that parents can bear almost anything ... I shock myself with my ability to rationalize and tolerate things once unthinkable. The rationalizations escalate ... It's only marijuana. He gets high only on weekends. At least he's not using hard drugs ...

David Sheff

#16. Trying is terrifying because I know I will just fail. But I do want things to be different. I do ... I am so afraid. I'm afraid to hope again.

Nic Sheff

#17. At my worst, I even resented Nic because an addict, at least when high, has a momentary respite from his suffering. There is no similar relief for parents or children or husbands or wives or others who love them.

David Sheff

#18. You have got to get creative if you want anyone to notice your goddamn teenage angst.

Nic Sheff

#19. It happened so fast - so abruptly. An innocence I'd clung to was lost in that instant.

Nic Sheff

#20. Now is now. There is nothing but now... This, right here, is all there is.

Nic Sheff

#21. Isn't that the greatest gift in the world-just not to care?

Nic Sheff

#22. So you think you should just be able to kill yourself and no one should care? ... You don't think that your actions are gonna affect other people - the people who love you?

Nic Sheff

#23. I feel so completely crazy sometimes. I don't know which way I'm facing. All I can do is just shove all this shit to the side and try to move forward.

Nic Sheff

#24. The thing is, though, every time I think I'm just gonna give up - that I can't possibly do it, that I'm just going to curl up alone somewhere and waste away, well, I always keep trying. I mean, for some reason I manage to make it through another day and then another day after that.

Nic Sheff

#25. I'm not some total invalid

Nic Sheff

#26. In a way it's like too serene or whatever - too empty. I feel that familiar feeling of being a dark smudge on this otherwise pristine white canvas. There's just no way to blend in out here.

Nic Sheff

#27. I guess I just struggle with belonging to any organization. I always feel like I should be able to do it on my own. My ego tells me I'm better than all this ... I want to rebel against it, though of course, I don't really have any options.

Nic Sheff

#28. And I have this, for now. I just wish I could figure out how to keep my fucking mind from going all over the place - dwelling on all the loss and pain and everything I'VE DONE - then jumping off into the future to how impossible it all seems.

Nic Sheff

#29. It seems like there is something about sharing your insides with the world that gives other people strength and hope and helps them not to feel so alone.

Nic Sheff

#30. I want to stay hidden in this apartment forever. I want to be kept like a house cat.

Nic Sheff