Master Of Stupidity Quotes

#1. Smartass Disciple: Why men don't ready yet to join the intergalactic confederation?
Master of Stupidity: Men could make them laugh to death. It'd be too risky for them.

Toba Beta

#2. Smartass Disciple: Master, that guy's teaching is somehow annoying me.
Master of Stupidity: Only as long as you stay tuned for pissed-off channel.

Toba Beta

#3. Smartass Disciple: Master, how do I know that I am not dreaming right now ?
Master of Stupidity: You don't. Only those who see you're dreaming can tell it.

Toba Beta

#4. Smartass Disciple: Master, we should not spend our time to low life like them.
Master of Stupidity: If I don't, then how should I lead men like you to be wiser?

Toba Beta

#5. Smartass Disciple: If there were two masters, which one should I listen to?
Master of Stupidity: Use the ears to the one who looks so stupid, eyes to else.

Toba Beta

#6. Smartass Disciple: Master, if you are so good, can you drive a car with your eyes closed?
Master of Stupidity: Thou shall not break the rules of drive safely.
Thou shall not tempt the police as well.

Toba Beta

#7. Smartass Disciple: Please teach me about the truth, master.
Master of Stupidity: Hmmm ... tell me about your sexperience!

Toba Beta

#8. Smartass Disciple: Master, where is exactly the edge of this universe ?
Master of Stupidity: Edge is wherever the absence of universal gravity.

Toba Beta

#9. Smartass Disciple: Master, I don't need a fairytale.I need you to tell me the truth.
Master of Stupidity: It is not funny if you just found it. No drama if no lost at first.

Toba Beta

#10. Smartass Disciple: But, you said that it's the truth??
Master of Stupidity: O Yes. That is yesterday's truth.

Toba Beta

#11. Smartass Disciple: Master, you keep preaching the truth. They don't listen.
Master of Stupidity: Oh that's not bad. That attitude keeps us in the business.

Toba Beta

#12. Smartass Disciple: Master, tell me what is it beyond this universe ?
Master of Stupidity: No 'space' in no 'gravity'. No 'thing' in spaceless.

Toba Beta

#13. Smartass Student : 'a man must have his own master.'
Master of Stupidity: 'yea, everyone's somebody's bitch.

Toba Beta

#14. Smartass Disciple: Master, please show me the way to the enlightenment.
Master of Stupidity: Walk with me! [but I won't let you try to surpass me].

Toba Beta

#15. Smartass Disciple: Why do arrogant people like to say complex words ?
Master of Stupidity: Ask them straight! You'll get a simple scary version.

Toba Beta

#16. Smartass Disciple: Does stupidity a sin?
Master of Stupidity: No stupidity, no sin.

Toba Beta

#17. Smartass Disciple: Master, what do say about the truth itself ?
Master of Stupidity: Like sex, no fun anymore if all is revealed.

Toba Beta

#18. Smartass Disciple: If you are really a master, then make me see miracles!
Master of Stupidity: Go to sleep and dream, then wake up thirty years later!

Toba Beta

#19. Smartass Disciple: Master, can you trust this bank to keep your money safe?
Master of Stupidity: Well, I can put a bit less distrust on this bank than others.

Toba Beta

#20. Smartass Disciple: Master, what did you do to earn wisdom ?
Master of Stupidity: Well, I forget. Shit happened, life goes on.

Toba Beta

#21. Smartass Disciple: Master, I want to be the better me by forgetting my past.
Master of Stupidity: If you just forget it, how would you measure you're better?

Toba Beta

#22. Smartass Disciple: Master, what is the secret recipe of your happiness?
Master of Stupidity: If I tell you, there is nobody left to be made fun of.

Toba Beta

#23. Smartass Disciple: Master, how do you heal the broken heart?
Master of Stupidity: It isn't a disease need to be healed. It's life.

Toba Beta

#24. Smartass Disciple: Master, why there was no second chance in garden of eden?
Master of Stupidity: Of course. Perhaps, human can only enjoy one-time virginity.

Toba Beta

#25. Smartass Disciple: Master, I believe that the truth will prevail at the end.
Master of Stupidity: No 'the end' for the truth. 'Prevail' is something else.

Toba Beta

#26. Smartass Disciple: Three years! I've listened you preaching just for this silly truth?
Master of Stupidity: Who said I was preaching? Who said anything about the truth?

Toba Beta

#27. Smartass Disciple: Master, I feel really really confused about the truth.
Master of Stupidity: Only confused? Walk in my shoes then you tell me.

Toba Beta

#28. Smartass Disciple: Master, why should people love each other ?
Master of Stupidity: Well, orgasm is felt better than kill each other.

Toba Beta

#29. Smartass Disciple: I've been searching for so long.I still can't find the truth.
Master of Stupidity: Until you've lost and felt desperate, you won't be found.

Toba Beta

#30. Smartass Disciple: Where were all things before the time began?
Master of Stupidity: What was the time before all things created?

Toba Beta

#31. Smartass Disciple: Master, what will happen to the men right after their death ?
Master of Stupidity: They live with a same or different part of their consciousness.

Toba Beta

#32. If there were a master of stupidity in this world,
I would really love to listen to his success story.

Toba Beta

#33. Smartass Disciple: Master, you should teach people not to do war to each other.
Master of Stupidity: I should teach people how to win their minds of their wars.

Toba Beta

#34. Smartass Disciple: Master, why God let human did sins in the beginning?
Master of Stupidity: If the saviour must come, why should He prevent that?

Toba Beta

#35. Smartass Disciple: Master, do you really believe in the second chance?
Master of Stupidity: That supports the basis of lost-then-found concept.

Toba Beta

#36. Smartass Disciple: Master, I'm going to change the whole world.
Master of Stupidity: It changes within you. It changes without you.

Toba Beta

#37. Smartass Disciple: Master, why heaven is up there and hell is down there ?
Master of Stupidity: If otherwise, it wouldn't be celebrated as ascension day.

Toba Beta

#38. Smartass Disciple: Master, how could I know that you've told me the whole truth?
Master of Stupidity: Someday. [Never on earth. Otherwise I'd lose you and my job]

Toba Beta

#39. Smartass Disciple: Master, where will you go after your soul leaves your body?
Master of Stupidity: What makes you think a soul will go elsewhere physically?

Toba Beta

#40. Smartass Disciple: Which one was first created, time or things?
Master of Stupidity: No things, no changes. No changes, no time.

Toba Beta

#41. Smartass Disciple: Master, what are you talking about? None of us understand!
Master of Stupidity: Be patient! It is not ended yet. The end justifies the means.

Toba Beta

#42. Smartass Disciple: Why we shouldn't judge others?
Master of Stupidity: Don't! Unless you are paid for it.

Toba Beta

#43. Smartass Disciple: What were you thinking when the truth is revealed unto you?
Master of Stupidity: I wasn't thinking. I was having sex when it came to my mind.

Toba Beta

#44. Smartass Disciple: How the hell do we find the truth ?
Master of Stupidity: Just seek it with hope it'll find you.

Toba Beta

#45. Smartass Disciple: My master, please show me how to be a wise man!
Master of Stupidity: I can't. But I can show you how to do something wisely.

Toba Beta

#46. Smartass Disciple: What were said for things before the time exist?
Master of Stupidity: No words to be said by no man at no time at all.

Toba Beta

#47. Smartass Disciple: Master, why do some people so stubborn and unruly ?
Master of Stupidity: Only when you want them do according to your wish.

Toba Beta

#48. Smartass Disciple : Master, why you keep telling about the truth? Nobody hears.
Master of Stupidity : O Yea. They hear but don't listen. Anyway, no fun in silent.

Toba Beta

#49. Smartass Disciple: Master, I want to eradicate all corruptions in this world.
Master of Stupidity: Let it be a bit! Otherwise you'll make us jobless for good.

Toba Beta

#50. You speak to me, in your own fashion, of a strange psychology which is able to reconcile the wonders of a master craftsmanship with aberrations due to unfathomable stupidity.

Jean-Henri Fabre

#51. The ears, which master the face of a dunce, are that part of the head which most publishes stupidity.

Alexander Theroux

#52. Computers can never completely replace humans. They may become capable of artificial intelligence, but they will never master real stupidity.

Garrison Keillor