Lie To Me Funny Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 38 famous quotes and sayings about lie to me funny to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 38 Lie To Me Funny Quotes

#1. To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken. - Author: Dark Jar Tin Zoo
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#2. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. - Author: Winston S. Churchill
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#3. The drawings in 'Portal' were actually me scribbling that stuff ... I had a funny moment when I realized that someone gotten 'The cake is a lie' tattooed on themselves. It was really interesting to see my handwriting tattooed on another human being. That ... that's odd. - Author: Kim Swift
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#4. His lie ability is an asset - Author: Alec Sulkin
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#5. A person with no children says, "Well I just love children," and you say "Why?" and they say, "Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth." That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain. - Author: Bill Cosby
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#6. May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers. - Author: Tina Fey
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#7. I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga ... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are." - Author: Bill Cosby
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#8. Rhiannon's Law #22. You can't lie to yourself, so don't bother trying. Doing so only multiplies your douchebag level to the umpteenth power and confirms what others have been saying for years - that you are an idiot. - Author: J.A. Saare
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#9. Money, Gun and Lie can solve almost all the problems. - Author: Amit Kalantri
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#10. Well," Carole said, turning in her seat, "after being fingerprinted and being given a lie detector test, I'll never complain again about going to the gynecologist. - Author: Stephanie Bond
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#11. It's funny how we don't recognize our own reflections, but the one thing about them is they never lie. - Author: Jewel E. Ann
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#12. Kurt Cilke liked dogs because they could not conspire. They could not hide hostility, and they were not cunning. They did not lie awake at night planning to rob and murder other dogs. Treachery was beyond their scope. - Author: Mario Puzo
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#13. It's funny when you feel as if you don't want anything more in your life except to sleep, or else to lie without moving. That's when you can hear time sliding past you, like water running. - Author: Jean Rhys
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#14. I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me."
"It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably. - Author: Cassandra Clare
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#15. I never lie. I believe everything I say, so it's not a lie. - Author: Mark Wahlberg
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#16. Listen, I'd rather lie naked in a plowed field under an incontinent horse for a week than have to read that paragraph again! - Author: Diane Ackerman
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#17. Of course I do, Jack! You have to beLIEve me! - Author: Raymond Benson
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#18. If I go back home to Wittenberg, I'll lie down in a coffin and give the maggots a fat doctor to eat. - Author: Martin Luther
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#19. I was shameless in my supermarket-shelf mass-market taste. I loved King, Evanovich, Grisham and Brown. I won't lie; the oficial-looking filing cabinet in the corner is actually stuffed full of my paperbacks. - Author: Molly Harper
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#20. The business of lying is transacted in the abode of the gullible. - Author: Michael Bassey Johnson
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#21. You have buttered your bread. Now you must lie on it. - Author: Beverly Rycroft
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#22. I started off thinking Eminem was a flash in the pan, a kind of hip-hop Hanson brother. How wrong I was. Recovery is sometimes funny, sometimes terrible, always painfully honest. The matching of Eminem and Rihanna on "Love the Way You Lie" is pure genius. "Not Afraid" is pretty great too. - Author: Stephen King
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#23. I only lie for sex or money or to practice for when I need to lie for sex or money. - Author: Stephen Schneider
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#24. Just because a baby cries, I discovered, doesn't mean there's always something wrong. Sometimes babies wake up for no real reason. They just want to check if they're doing it right. "This is Sleeping, right?" "Exactly." "I just lie here?" "That's right." "Okay." Then back to sleep they go. - Author: Paul Reiser
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#25. I'd like to say I'm not dressed up for anyone in particular, but that would be a lie. - Author: Lisa Daily
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#26. I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said. - Author: Lyn Nofziger
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#27. When you say 'Bedtime, bedtime, bedtime!' that's not what the child hears. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark ... for hours ... and don't move ... I'm locking the door now.' - Author: Dylan Moran
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#28. I want you to lie to me just as sweetly as you know how for the rest of my life. - Author: F Scott Fitzgerald
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#29. Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can't answer. - Author: Charles M. Schulz
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#30. My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate. - Author: Chelsea Handler
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#31. Honest friends is kinda nice, but it's hard to beat a big-ass lie and a six-pack of brewskies. - Author: Lois Greiman
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#32. I took a lie detector test the other day. No, I didn't. - Author: Steven Wright
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#33. Funny how one lie leads to another and before you know it, your whole life can be a lie. I sit on the porch swing later, not even - Author: Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
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#34. I take a sip of my beer, and it's - I mean, it's just astonishingly disgusting. I don't think I was expecting it to taste like ice cream, but holy fucking hell. People lie and get fake IDs and sneak into bars, and for this? I honestly think I'd rather make out with Bieber. The dog. Or Justin. - Author: Becky Albertalli
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#35. Gomst's mouth framed a 'no', but every other muscle in him said 'yes'. You'd think priests would be better liars, what with their jobs and all. - Author: Mark Lawrence
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#36. Do you recognise me?" he asked. Willie looked hard and considered before finally replying "Lie down so I can recognise you. - Author: Willie Pep
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#37. Men tend to lie when it comes to sexual conquests. You should hear some of the ego-driven lies my friends have told me: 'Swear to God, man - the hooker gave the money back.' - Author: Adam Ferrara
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#38. By the way, don't think I forgot you tried to lie to me again."
"So, how long is it gonna take for you to turn into a wolf, so I can run the hell away from you? - Author: Sarah Brianne
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