Licensed Funny Quotes

#1. If the professors of English will complain to me that the students who come to the universities, after all those years of study, still cannot spell 'friend,' I say to them that something's the matter with the way you spell friend. - Author: Richard P. Feynman

#2. Modern cyberspace is a deadly festering swamp, teeming with dangerous programs such as 'viruses,' 'worms,' 'Trojan horses' and 'licensed Microsoft software' that can take over your computer and render it useless. - Author: Dave Barry

#3. Having something explained to you does not always solve it. - Author: Robin Hobb

#4. Just beneath the surface of all experiences in life is God's, or the Guru's, compassionate face. - Author: Mata Amritanandamayi

#5. For he that does good, having the unlimited power to do evil, deserves praise not only for the good which he performs, but for the evil which he forbears. - Author: Walter Scott

#6. Michigan State already has one of the coolest mascots in college football, but if Sparty ever needs a day off, Javon Ringer could do the job. After all, he already does just about everything else for MSU. - Author: Javon Ringer

#7. When destiny calls you, you've got to be strong. I may not be with you, but you've got to move on. - Author: Phil Collins

#8. Scientists are the enemies of tradition , and tradition own all the prisons. - Victor Vigny - Author: Eoin Colfer

#9. I realized that improvisers should probably always have time off. But musicians are always gigging and never have a chance to stop for a minute - unless something drastic occurs. - Author: Keith Jarrett

#10. Human beings suck the life out of everything that's beautiful. - Author: Kelly Braffet

#11. Pride always wants to be on top and in control. - Author: John Eckhardt

#12. If a church offers no truth that is not available in the general culture - in, for instance, the editorials of the New York Times or, for that matter, of National Review - there is not much reason to pay it attention. - Author: Richard John Neuhaus

#13. I learned that if you want to make it bad enough, no matter how bad it is, you can make it. - Author: Gale Sayers

#14. God's finger touched him, and he slept. - Author: Alfred Lord Tennyson

#15. The lecture theatre - the place where information passes from the notebook of the lecturer to the notebook of the student without necessarily passing through the mind of either. - Author: Jim White

#16. Sweetness is the opposite of machismo, which is everywhere-and I really don't get on with machismo. I'm interested in sensitivity, and weakness, and fear, and anxiety, because I think that, at the end of the day, behind our masks, that's what we are. - Author: Alain De Botton