Top 40 Katie Heaney Quotes

#1. If you only ever like people you don't know and who don't know you, the ball is perpetually in their court. Only they don't realize that you think they're playing basketball with you. They are not actually at the court. You think you're there. But really you're not there, either.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #24585
#2. Falling in love is totally unimaginable to me. I think maybe the best things often are.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #71229
#3. There were a couple of times when I hung out with a boy I liked and he paid for me and we were both single so I think those were dates, but then like a week later he had a girlfriend that wasn't me and I was cursing his very existence, so it's hard to say for sure.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #74556
#4. We went into the laser tag room, paranoid, delirious, and shot at one another. It was a little like Lord of the Flies but with more 98 Degrees.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #90686
#5. It has often been hard for me to know if people are serious when they talk about making T-shirts. Just to be clear: Nobody ever means it, ever. Making and wearing matching, themed T-shirts is embarrassing. Unless you want to make some with me right now, or something.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #195268
#6. Anyway. That's not important. (It's kind of important.)

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #259805
#7. You always forget that it's impossible to grieve every minute of the day. You always forget that a mourning period can include laughter, but just because it's there it won't mean that you're really okay.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #325591
#8. We look the way most late-high-school, early-college-age kids look in pictures they take of one another: stupid. Stupid, and thrilled to be wherever it is that we are, with whoever we are with, right at that moment. Andy

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #358410
#9. Because six-year-olds don't have real interests aside from double Dutch and Pizza Lunchables.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #509190
#10. This is THE most romantic thing that has ever happened to me, and it involves both drugs and a toilet.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #601900
#11. All I give are fucks. And it seems to me that it might be nice, on occasion, to get rid of some of them.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #635004
#12. Sex is not a wizard, whatever magical-seeming properties it might possess in its better forms. If your friend says to you, "You're being mean, you need to get laid," your problem is not sex. Your problems are that you might be acting like an asshole, and your friends are definitely idiots.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #670069
#13. When I'd see him I'd look at him, then look away, then look at him again. I never got closer than twenty feet, which is about how far out my anti-flirtation force field has extended since the beginning of my life.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #714200
#14. I am at the point in my life where I no longer know another person in my shoes. I could count on my friend Colleen for a long time, but then she had to go and get a pseudo-boyfriend last year. I couldn't believe that. It was almost like she wasn't thinking about how her relationship would affect me.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #732048
#15. I have a weird need to Google the heights of celebrities I have crushes on to make sure they are at least my height or taller.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #847067
#16. There are the boys for whom the ink of a million glittery gel pens was spilled.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #863095
#17. Maintenance of peaceful group relations is VERY important to us authoritative single people. It's because we care, and maybe just a little because we're afraid of uncontrollable events.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #880561
#18. If there were one sentence that explained everything you feel right now, what would it be?" I thought about it for a second. "I fucking hope that everyone dies.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #901467
#19. I have always chosen my friends from a silent distance, picking them out after a short observation period and only then attempting to get to know them.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #933529
#20. I am obviously not a patient person.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #958157
#21. I keep myself to myself.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #971087
#22. A friend of mine once told me a month is about how long it takes to begin seeing another person as another person instead of a character making a cameo appearance in your life

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1063655
#23. I can't be in love with every hot movie star; it's exhausting.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1135186
#24. In fact, I think that's probably what the Bermuda Triangle is up to. It doesn't mean to do any harm, and it's actually pretty nice once you get to know it. It's just that Bermuda doesn't know how to handle itself when somebody sails into its territory, because that hardly ever happens.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1218320
#25. I mean, I always want everyone to kiss me, but I also don't want anyone to ever even think about trying any funny business because I swear to God I will yell and run. It's sort of hard to explain.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1238677
#26. I am often wrong about the good of humanity.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1279112
#27. It doesn't matter how simple your name is; it's always a surprise to hear it spoken aloud by someone new, how the specific arrangement of syllables sounds coming out of their mouth.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1308065
#28. It was because she was drinking a lot, choosing to do these things to be happy but never seeming all that happy the next day, or the one after that.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1354722
#29. It was different than all the rest because I say it was. I felt it was.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1373698
#30. Apparently she didn't know about that abomination of the senses in which cute boys can hear you speak their names from literally any distance in space and/or time.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1409186
#31. I'm going to stay a little uptight and anxious.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1462115
#32. There are a lot of things wrong with this particular approach to getting your girlfriend to agree to reenter a relationship with you. Probably the biggest problem is that it's a PowerPoint presentation.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1474636
#33. Bad girls don't feel the need to act the way girls are "supposed" to act. They don't wear pretty clothes or subtle pink makeup or waves in their hair. They talk back, often and loudly. They are viciously honest and witty and mean. They are independent and tough.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1494433
#34. This would feel truer if I hadn't been shut down by quite so many wrong people that I, despite my allegedly high standards, chased after. In any case, it's a nice thought.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1514170
#35. Girls are nothing to be afraid of, no matter the kind. Boys, on the other hand.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1514745
#36. My darling, patient friends tell me that I'm still single only because I'm picky, and because I haven't met the right person yet. This would feel truer if I hadn't been shut down by quite so many wrong people that I, despite my allegedly high standards, chased after.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1624358
#37. I just had never occured to me to think that anything inherent to me was to blame for the things that went wrong (or the things that never even happened at all) with the other guys before him. Maybe it was all the time I'd had to decide I was cool and good and worthy without anyone else's help.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1700784
#38. Yogurt and drunk kissing - these are things that I, as a woman, feel I should be enjoying more.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1702768
#39. The problem with being, as I was then, and on some days continue to be, neither adventurous nor reclusive is that you want friends, but you don't want them to do anything you wouldn't do. But you wouldn't do anything.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1726314
#40. I was trying to seduce him just by being physically near him. Like, seduction by osmosis. It works in movies constantly.

Katie Heaney

Katie Heaney Quotes #1819603

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