Kathleen Madigan Quotes

#1. The only infallible rule we know is, that the man who is always talking about being a gentleman never is one.

Robert Smith Surtees

#2. Shout-out to my dad - he influenced my style when I was 17.

Theophilus London

#3. The senator had only one argument in his favour: his feeling. When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object. In the realm of kitsch, the dictatorship of the heart reigns supreme.

Milan Kundera

#4. This diminished the entire joy, the pure joy, of the two notes sounding together, and let the sound die on her ear now with a dismal flatness.

Virginia Woolf

#5. i just want my girls to have babies. that's all. so they know what i know.

Elizabeth Noble

#6. Since the 1980s, we have given the rich a bigger slice of our pie in the belief that they would create more wealth, making the pie bigger than otherwise possible in the long run. The rich got the bigger slice of the pie all right, but they have actually reduced the pace at which the pie is growing.

Ha-Joon Chang

#7. The bus scares me. Way too many gross people on the bus. Sixty-five people on the bus and I was the last one on. I felt like calling Unsolved Mysteries. 'Yeah, I found everybody.

Kathleen Madigan

#8. But it's mostly about pacing yourself when you do these movies.

Robert Englund

#9. Some people are mean, and when you look at their page, they only write mean things, but I have a great time with a twitter person. It's not even to promote myself, just to entertain me.

Kathleen Madigan

#10. I don't have a computer. I'm going to wait until that whole fad is over. I was suckered in on the Pet Rock. Not twice, people.

Kathleen Madigan

#11. I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.

Kathleen Madigan

#12. Make your mess your message," Momma liked to say. And I did.

Robin Roberts

#13. People entertain me more than I entertain them.

Kathleen Madigan

#14. I had no idea about nutrition. I thought by eating salads you'll stay skinny.

Valentina Zelyaeva

#15. Immorality sanctified by tradition is still immorality.

Bernard E. Rollin

#16. I never have goals or dreams. My sister says it's pathetic and lazy, but I had a goal, to tell jokes to pay bills and not have to live in a trailer. So, I think I'm living my fantasy. I don't have another.

Kathleen Madigan

#17. I bowled for two years in college, because I was drunk and needed shoes.

Kathleen Madigan

#18. Thou shalt remake the world

Jandy Nelson

#19. The sort of fish that a good fisherman puts back into the water

Virginia Woolf

#20. I always give homeless people money, and my friends yell at me, 'He's only going to buy more alcohol and cigarettes.' And I'm thinking, 'Oh, like I wasn't?'

Kathleen Madigan

#21. Not everyone is meant to be in your life for the long run. Some are just passing through to lead us to those that should be.

April Mae Monterrosa

#22. I would like to be an FBI profiler. I'm fascinated with psychology, but I wouldn't want to deal with people and their problems in my office. I like to figure them out from afar, narrow a case down, figure it out, but it sounds like a lot of science.

Kathleen Madigan

#23. God requireth not an uniformity of Religion to be inacted and inforced in any civill state.

Roger Williams

#24. Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going, 'Can I have a dollar? I'm missing a shoe! I need a ride!

Kathleen Madigan