Top 100 Joan's Quotes
#1. Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.
Joan Rivers
#2. I think there's nothing better than laughing in life, so that's nice, to be thought of as someone who can make someone laugh. It's 'cause I think life is hard. You know, my dad was a really silly man. A great Irish silly man. And that's fine.
Joan Cusack
#3. I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted to go out on this chat show we were on to laugh with me. Now he's ruined it. I can't make another joke about him.
Joan Rivers
#4. I've never had any problem with criticism. I've given a lot, and I've copped a lot. But I believe I've got a role to play by insisting that women be judged by their contribution - not somebody's view of what they should be about.
Joan Kirner
#5. One survey found that ten percent of Americans thought Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.
Rita Mae Brown
#6. I get pressure from my audience and my agents to be a 'good girl,' and I'm in the public eye, so if I mess up, it's going to be all over the place.
Melissa Joan Hart
#7. My personal style is bipolar. Sometimes I feel like dressing in a boyish leather jacket; other times I want to dress more elegantly. Most of the time it's what I like to call 'comfortable chic': Giuseppe Zanotti flat sandals, Rag & Bone jeans, slouchy Isabel Marant shirts.
Joan Smalls
#8. It's easier to sit there and say you don't like feminists because they don't have a sense of humor.
Joan Jett
#9. Well, this whole question of how you work out the narrative is very mysterious. It's a good deal more arbitrary than most people who don't do it would ever believe.
Joan Didion
#10. It's like my old Aunt Joan always used to say: if you're going to end up fighting monsters, Pirate Captain, try to stick to ventriloquist's dummies who have gone alive.
Gideon Defoe
#11. People don't realize that when you're Latin, you're so diverse. I am black. I am Latin. I am Spanish. You know? It's a little bit of everything, and that's beautiful. So, everybody, claim me. I'm fine with that!
Joan Smalls
#12. To have that sense of one's intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference.
Joan Didion
#13. I eat an avocado every day. It's amazing for your skin. It's one of the super-foods, and I'm just so into eating properly and healthily.
Joan Collins
#14. I know I'm representing a group - black, Latin, whatever you want to put me with - and I want to show that they are beautiful the way they are. I think that's really important for our youth to see.
Joan Smalls
#15. It's a terrible thing to be a worker exploited in the capitalist system. The only worse thing is to be a worker unable to find anyone to exploit you.
Joan Robinson
#16. There's more to me, more to the universe, than I suspected. Room for all the dreams I ever had, and all the nightmares ... heroes in the gutters and in the mirror; saints in the frozen wasteland; fools and liars on the throne of wisdom, and hands reaching out in hunger that will never be filled.
Joan D. Vinge
#17. In my box of sound bites there are no jackhammers, no snowmobiles, no Jet Skis, no children wailing. Music but no Muzak.
It's my box. Put what you want in yours.
Joan Oliver Goldsmith
#18. I get recognised sometimes. But I just live my life. I get on the bus, I get on the subway, it's not a problem.
Joan Allen
#19. If I'm going to do something a little bit more adult, I'll do it if it's going to be on at a different time slot or if it's going to be something that kids won't be able to get their hands on.
Melissa Joan Hart
#20. Like children, adolescents need a framework. Otherwise they can't cope. When someone has unlimited freedom, it means there's nobody who cares what they're doing.
Joan Lingard
#21. So I had all the names, three names, and that's good to have on a soap.
Joan Van Ark
#22. It's easier to take than to give. It's nobler to give than to take. The thrill of taking lasts a day. The thrill of giving lasts a lifetime.
Joan Marques
#23. There's a very fine line between underacting and not acting at all. And not acting is what a lot of actors are guilty of. It amazes me how some of these little numbers with dreamy looks and a dead pan are getting away wit it. I'd hate to see them on stage with a dog act.
Joan Blondell
#24. I have to tell you that it's not going to be easy. Take every chance and every opportunity that you can. Don't say 'I can't' or 'I shouldn't' or 'I'm too tired.'
Joan Rivers
#25. It was fun; you know, at this point in my life it's like, I want to do stuff that's meaningful.
Joan Cusack
#26. We must all commit Sister Monica Joan to our prayers. We must seek God's help. But I will also engage a good lawyer." I
Jennifer Worth
#27. When you're going through a tough spell, it's easy to think that's all your life is about. You forget the good things, forget the quiet places. But they're always inside of us and we can pull them up when we need to set ourselves right.
Joan Bauer
#28. I cannot understand a society that is more afraid of a man in a dress than a man in a soldier's uniform.
Joan Nestle
#29. Only towards the end of this process are any of the chapters in fully readable condition, a state of affairs that used to alarm my wife. But Joan's got used to it.
Fred Saberhagen
#30. Not many people were speaking truth to power in the '80s. I had a really good time doing it - I found it gratifying. It was a joy to have an opportunity to say what you believed. It's challenging to do it in fiction, but I liked writing the novels. I liked writing 'Democracy' particularly.
Joan Didion
#31. There are many ways you can make money. Certain ways will make you happy, certain other ways will make other people happy. But if you go in because there's money in there, you're bound to fail, bound to fail!
Joan Chen
#32. Being an artist is not exactly the most universally respected, or secure thing to do with your life. It can be frightening and you can feel that you're taking a lot of risks just with your own life, and your family's security. But the rewards outweigh those things.
Joan Osborne
#33. I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian
and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.
Joan Rivers
#34. Radio has changed, there was a little bit of difference around the country and now that is gone and everything is uniform. That is not the only place it's happening in music, there's a lot of consolidation.
Joan Jett
#35. If you eat junk, you look like junk. People say, 'It's not my fault, it's my glands.' It's not; it's greed!
Joan Collins
#36. You don't have to be rich and famous. You just have to be an ordinary person, doing extraordinary things. I'd like more people to know that it's there. Women's achievements still aren't recognised enough in many areas.
Joan Armatrading
#37. I know I'm not exactly a bombshell, but one has to make the best of what one's got.
Joan Sutherland
#38. I think I was born strong-willed. That's not the kind of thing you can learn. The advantage is, you stick to what you believe in and rarely get pushed out of what you want to do.
Joan Jett
#39. For are we not, all of us, wand'rers and strangers; and do we not, all of us, travel in danger or voyage uncharted seas?
Joan W. Blos
#40. Wearing this kind of costume is not something I fantasize about. It's not natural, it's not comfortable. I don't see myself as this. But it gives you dramatic license to do almost anything when you're dressed as a bug.
Joan Severance
#41. I held it over my heart. Mrs. Worth smiled. That's where a book should be carried.
Joan Bauer
#42. It's a complete rush to get what you've been hoping for - to get it so full and complete that it fills your senses.
Joan Bauer
#43. Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.
Joan Rivers
#44. I don't lead a writer's life. And I think that can be a source of suspicion and irritation to some people.
Joan Didion
#45. I lead a very conventional life. I don't lead a writer's life. And I think that can be a source of suspicion and irritation to some people. This was more true when I was living in California, when I didn't lead a writer's life at all.
Joan Didion
#46. With me, it's so eclectic and all over the map that no one knows what to expect, ... It may not be a great career move, but all these things - singing with the Funk Brothers and the Dead, singing a Dolly Parton song - is great. I'm welcome to all these different worlds, and that's been wonderful.
Joan Osborne
#47. I have hope in people, in individuals. Because you don't know what's going to rise from the ruins.
Joan Baez
#48. I have a million dollar figure ... but it's all loose change.
Joan Rivers
#49. A love story - your own, or anyone else's - is interior, hidden. It can never be accurately reported, only imagined. It is all dreams and invention. It's guesswork.
Joan Wickersham
#50. I never dwell on what happened. You can't change it. Move forward. Don't waste your energy on being angry at something that somebody did six months ago or a year ago. It's over. Done. Move forward.
Joan Rivers
#51. The problem with the heart is how it can have so many opposite feelings coursing through it all at the same time. It's really an inconsistent thing- appreciating something one minute and hating it the next.
Joan Bauer
#52. I mean, jillian gushed. you have this force connecting you. it's under the surface, but it runs deep.
Joan Bauer
#53. It's like, God, I'm in my 80s. Nobody, when I die, is going to say, 'How young?' They're going to say she had a great ride.
Joan Rivers
#54. I tend to keep my private life private. I think it's important to have mystique. It's important to keep people thinking and guessing, and you want everyone to think you're singing to them.
Joan Jett
#55. It's such a great feeling to make people laugh. I know I've made people cry or want to slit their wrists, but to make people laugh is a very intoxicating, wonderful thing.
Joan Allen
#56. One is just given a talent, and it's one's duty to make the most of it.
Joan Sutherland
#57. Women's Lib? Poor little things. They always look so unhappy. Have you noticed how bitter their faces are?
Joan Crawford
#58. With plastic surgery, the general anesthetic is like a black-velvety sleep, and that's what death is - without waking up to someone clapping and going, 'Joan, wake up, it's all over and you're looking pretty'.
Joan Rivers
#59. There's nothing wrong with having a different way of learning. What's wrong is when people blame you for it.
Joan Bauer
#60. Hope is what sits by the window and waits for one more dawn, despite the fact that there isn't an ounce of proof in tonight's black, black sky that it can possible come.
Joan D. Chittister
#61. Poetry is a tree with very deep roots and while there may be excitement about this or that new little branch, you're not going to make anything original by just doing whatever's being rewarded at the moment.
Joan Larkin
#62. There's nothing wrong with being single and not getting married and being, you know, just an old single lady. Who cares?
Joan Jett
#63. Beware the religion that turns you against another one. It's unlikely that it's really religion at all.
Joan D. Chittister
#64. Since God had commanded it, it was necessary that I do it. Since God commanded it, even if I had a hundred fathers and mothers, even if I had been a King's daughter, I would have gone nevertheless.
Joan Of Arc
#65. Skating is big in Chicago. There's a lot of hockey; a lot of the boys play hockey. And figure skating is big.
Joan Cusack
#66. A lot of the touring stuff has become a drag. Traveling itself is a drag. Anyone who's been to an airport knows that.
Joan Jett
#68. Every time I see a film about Joan of Arc I'm convinced she'll get away with it. It's the only way to get through life.
Francoise Sagan
#69. It's been so long since I made love I can't even remember who gets tied up.
Joan Rivers
#70. I was excited about working with Richard Gere. Oh, and Joan Allen! Oh, my God, she is such a force of nature, it's mind boggling.
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa
#71. Little by little, I've reached the stage of using only a small number of forms and colors. It's not the first time that painting has been done with a very narrow range of colors. The frescoes of the tenth century are painted like this. For me, they are magnificent things.
Joan Miro
#72. I've written what and when I want to. It's been about expressing myself. But with the degree, I had to learn to do everything in a very specific, disciplined way. I am very disciplined, but this demanded a totally different kind of discipline. A real challenge.
Joan Armatrading
#73. My job is intense. It's very physical.
Joan Jett
#74. I think bare legs in winter are idiotic. Unless your naked pins are toned, tanned and veinless, it's best to cover up. There is nothing more elegant in winter than dark tights worn with matching knee-length boots and a belted trench coat.
Joan Collins
#75. The thing I get out of it is the connection. I remember going to shows as a kid and meeting eyes with the people in the band, and knowing they are meeting eyes with you, and that moment, that smile, and that's your moment. I want to create millions of little moments for other people.
Joan Jett
#76. Mel Gibson's father doesn't think there was a Holocaust? Great. I don't think there's a movie. We're even.
Joan Rivers
#77. Was there ever in anyone's life span a point free in time, devoid of memory, a night when choice was any more than the sum of all the choices gone before?
Joan Didion
#78. My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers
#79. Everyone needs fudge, Hildy. It's how God helps us cope.
Joan Bauer
#80. It's not always as comfortable blazing the trail as it is walking on it.
Joan Lunden
#81. I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.
Joan Rivers
#82. I'm grateful for every day I'm still alive. Everything is still working. I attribute it to eating a lot of processed foods. I think it's the preservatives that keep me going. That, and I eat as much chocolate as I can get my hands on.
Joan Rivers
#83. It's no one's fault to be born ugly, but, honestly, must it be worn as a symbol of pride?
Joan Collins
#84. I love playing bitches. There's a lot of bitch in every woman - a lot in every man.
Joan Crawford
#85. Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
Joan Rivers
#86. I think Joan's advice would be: always know more than anyone else, always be discreet as possible. And never cry at work.
Christina Hendricks
#87. I regarded the pumpkin thief's worst nightmare: splotchy coat, tattered ears, sleeping death rattle. "He gums robbers to death?" I asked. "What if they bring biscuits?
Joan Bauer
#88. I don't give a damn about my reputation. You're living in the past, it's a new generation.
Joan Jett
#89. What happens to the spiritual life of a young girl who is made to understand, consciously or subconsciously, that she has no place in the spiritual domain except as a consumer of someone else's God?
Joan D. Chittister
#90. You couldn't pay for her hats,' her father, a ship's captain, had told her suitors by way of discouragement, and perhaps they had all been discouraged but my grandfather, an innocent from the Georgetown Divide who read books.
Joan Didion
#91. I would not want to live if I could not perform. It's in my will. I am not to be revived unless I can do an hour of stand-up.
Joan Rivers
#92. That's all nonviolence is - organized love.
Joan Baez
#93. It's not funny, Joan. My bras are all in the first row, color-coded alphabetically from left to right, and then a row of panties, all folded in little squares, and then slips. And socks along the back row. Everything's so neat it makes me want to throw up.
Virginia Smith
#94. My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
Joan Rivers
#95. On cheap tippers:"Don't take it personally; they were deprived somehow as children.
On low-fat entrees: "They sell well enough, but nobody's too happy after the meal.
Joan Bauer
#96. One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she's mean.
Joan Rivers
#97. I had three children while doing a show, as demanding as 'Good Morning America,' so this is - you know, it's almost like I'm less daunted about motherhood, and parenting at this point in time. And I think I'm just much more fit and healthy than I was 20-years-ago.
Joan Lunden
#98. It's weird, because American films in the 1930s and '40s, particularly melodramas, were made for woman, from Bette Davis to Joan Crawford to Barbara Stanwyck to Katherine Hepburn, and for some reason we've taken a step backward in this sense.
James Gray
#99. Of course it's true: the public want to see young people - young people are the people who go to the cinema. It's a sad fact of life, but you've got to accept it and not whine about it.
Joan Collins
#100. Nonfiction is more personal for me. It's more personal in that it's more direct, and actually it's always been more direct, even when I first started doing pieces.
Joan Didion
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