Top 100 Jim Butcher Quotes
#1. My laboratory,' I said, experimentally, drawing out each syllable. 'Why is it that saying it like that always makes me want to follow it with 'mwoo-hah-hah-hahhhhh'? '
'You were overexposed to Hammer Films as a child?'
- Harry Dresden & Bob the Skull, Changes, Jim Butcher
Jim Butcher
#2. I've had sex that didn't feel as good as Maeve's smile.
Jim Butcher
#3. If your opponent has you by fifty pounds, winning a fight against him is a dubious proposition, at best. If your opponent has you by eight thousand and fifty pounds, you've left the realm of combat and enrolled yourself in Road-kill 101. Or possibly in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Jim Butcher
#4. Give it to 'em!" Take 'em down!" First Aleran!" Kick their furry
" Assault formation!
Jim Butcher
#5. It rained toads the day the White Council came to town.
Jim Butcher
#6. Ebenezar blinked . Then he turned his face to me his expression clearly asking whether or not I was out of my damned mind .
"Wile E. Coyote" I said to him soberly . "Suuuuuuper Genius
Jim Butcher
#7. He gave me a severe look over his spectacles and said, as if he thought the words were deadly venom and might kill me, You are an untidy person.
Jim Butcher
#8. I am blind and limited. I would be a fool think myself wise. And so, not knowing what the universe means, I can only try to be responsible with the knowledge, the strength, and the time given to me. I must be true to my heart.
Jim Butcher
#10. You walk through the door and everything goes to hell." "That's embroidered on my towels, actually.
Jim Butcher
#11. Inari screamed and swung her stake, but her Buffy impersonation wasn't any better than mine.
Jim Butcher
#12. There are old swordsmen and bold swordsmen. But few old, bold swordsmen.
Jim Butcher
#13. Smiling always seems to annoy people more than actually insulting them. Or maybe I just have an annoying smile.
Jim Butcher
#14. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love always forgives, trusts, supports, and endures. Love never fails. When every star in the heavens grows cold, and when silence lies once more on the face of the deep, three things will endure: faith, hope, and love.
Jim Butcher
#15. He had no frame of reference, and couldn't read - most faeries were studiously averse to print.
Jim Butcher
#17. Go back," he said.
"Can't. Stand aside?"
"Can't."
"So it's like that?" I said.
Fix exhaled. Then he nodded. "Yeah."
And for the first time in a decade the Winter Knight and Summer Knight went to war.
Jim Butcher
#18. Not gonna bind ya or break ya, old spirit. Just gonna kick your ass up between your ears.
Jim Butcher
#19. I felt like a collection of complaints and malfunctions.
Jim Butcher
#20. I think that men ought to treat women like something other than weaker men with breasts.
Jim Butcher
#21. Just remember that you're on my list, Marcone. Soon as I get done with all the other evils in this town, you won't be the lesser of them anymore."
Marcone stared at me with half-lidded eyes and said, "Eek.
Jim Butcher
#22. I hurled my fear and my loneliness, my love and my respect, my rage and my pain. I made of my thoughts a hammer, infused with the fires of creation and tempered in the icy power of the darkest guardian the earth had ever known.
Jim Butcher
#23. A succubus on the set. Strike that, the health-conscious kid sister made it two ... succubuses. Succubusees? Succubi? Stupid Latin correspondence course.
Jim Butcher
#24. Hope is a force of nature. Don't let anyone tell you different.
Jim Butcher
#25. It doesn't make you a monster to want, she said, her voice very gentle. It's what you do with it that matters.
Jim Butcher
#26. Injun Joe studied the body for a moment, his eyes sad. Then he said, "I'd rather go in my sleep, I think." He glanced back at me. "What about you?"
"I want to be stepped on by an elephant while having sex with identical triplet cheerleaders," I said.
Jim Butcher
#27. I checked my gear, my pockets, my shoelaces, and realized that I had crossed the line between making sure I was ready and trying to postpone the inevitable.
Jim Butcher
#28. I love being a wizard. Every day is like Disneyland.
Jim Butcher
#29. Things were weird enough without needing to ride around in a van with a bunch of naked, somewhat geeky college students.
Jim Butcher
#30. I was staring into a mirror, and I didn't like what I saw there.
Jim Butcher
#31. This is ridiculous. I look like the Games Workshop version of a Jedi Knight.
Jim Butcher
#32. Bikers don't wear all that leather around simply for the fashion value or possible felony assaults. It's handy for keeping the highway from ripping the skin from your flesh should you wind up losing control of the bike and sliding along the asphalt for a while.
Jim Butcher
#33. The vampire's true appearance was grotesque
but it wasn't as bad as some of the things I had seen in my day. Some demons were a lot worse, and some of the Elder Things could rip your mind apart just by letting you look at them
Jim Butcher
#34. Chocolate fends off all kinds of nasty stuff. And if you get hungry while warding off evil, you have a snack. It's multipurpose equipment.
Jim Butcher
#35. My God, there are times when the sexiest thing a woman can give a man is permission.
Jim Butcher
#36. Rowl was not prepared to tolerate incompetence where his personal human was concerned. He had just gotten her properly trained.
Jim Butcher
#37. Thomas came last, buckling on his gun belt, which was currently hung with his ridiculously huge Desert Eagle, just in case we were attacked by a rabid Cape buffalo.
Jim Butcher
#38. I was seducing shepherdesses when you weren't a twinkle in your great-grandcestor's eyes. I think I know what I'm doing.
Jim Butcher
#39. When people come to the only professional wizard in the Chicago phone book for help, they're one of two things: desperate or smart. Very rarely are they both.
Jim Butcher
#40. The only good thing about having your back to the wall is that it makes it really easy to choose which way you're going to go.
Jim Butcher
#41. Even days that culminate in a grand battle against an insane ghost and a trip across the border between this world and the spirit realm usually start out pretty normally.
Jim Butcher
#42. Because Nicodemus is a murderous murdering murderer, I said.
Jim Butcher
#43. If she were in a race for her life, that roar was the starter pistol. If God were the referee, He had just shouted Go.
Jim Butcher
#44. I hate it when the real world ignores a perfectly logical, rational assumption.
Jim Butcher
#45. Hat up, go kill her. Problem solved." "Bob," I said. "You can't just go around killing people." "I know. That's why you should do it." "No, no. I can't go around killing people, either." "Why not? You've done it before. And you've got a new gun and everything.
Jim Butcher
#46. Just because you start out as one thing, it doesn't mean you can't grow into something else.
Jim Butcher
#47. Night wasn't so much falling as sharpening its claws.
Jim Butcher
#48. Put some clothes on, you weird, yellow-eyed, table-dancing, werewolf-training, cryptic, stare-me-right-in-the-eyes-and-don't-even-blink wench.
Jim Butcher
#49. I have been beaten, but I have not yielded. I'm not going to start yielding now.
Jim Butcher
#50. She had never gotten it through her gentle head that there was a time for a soft paw and a time for red claws.
Jim Butcher
#51. Hell's holy stars and freaking stones shit bells.
Jim Butcher
#52. His voice was like the rest of him - about as exciting as a W-2.
Jim Butcher
#53. See, here's the thing. Morgan was right: you can't win them all. But that doesn't mean that you give up. Not ever. Morgan never said that part - he was too busy living it.
Jim Butcher
#54. Thwart," I said. "To prevent someone from accomplishing something by means of visiting gratuitous violence upon his smarmy person."
"I'm pretty sure that isn't the definition." Sarissa said.
"It is today.
Jim Butcher
#55. I am just another blind man. I do not get the whole picture of what transpires in all places. I am blind and limited. I would be a fool to think myself wise. And so, not knowing what the universe means, I can only try to be responsible with the knowledge, the strength, and the time given to me.
Jim Butcher
#56. Oh, what would you like on your vegetarian pizza?" "Dead pigs and cows," I said. She glanced up at me and wrinkled her nose. "They're vegetarians," I said defensively.
Jim Butcher
#57. Because nothing says flattery like a gun to the head.
Jim Butcher
#58. I got the sneaking suspicion that the vampire was a couple of Peeps short of an Easter basket.
Jim Butcher
#59. Books were expensive, as well. But she'd read enough of them to know that they were only as valuable as the contents of their writers' minds - and to her it seemed that a great many writers, had they been merchants, would have precious little inventory.
Jim Butcher
#60. I mean, go figure. You prepare your home for an assault and you don't take zombies into consideration. I'd fallen victim to one of the other classic blunders, along with not getting involved in a land war in Asia and never going in against a Sicilian when death was on the line.
Jim Butcher
#61. It must be tempered with discipline. Ferocity is useless unless employed in the proper place ...
Jim Butcher
#62. Are you always a smartass?' Nope. Sometimes I'm asleep.
Jim Butcher
#63. People always equate beauty with good, but it just ain't so.
Jim Butcher
#64. Dismembering monsters with a chain saw is one thing. People are another." "Yeah. People are easier." "Bob," I growled. "They're people.
Jim Butcher
#65. The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault.
Jim Butcher
#66. And besides, she was curious. She had questions. And answering questions was very nearly always more important than caution.
Jim Butcher
#67. Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others
even when there's not going to be anyone telling you what a hero you are. page 202
Jim Butcher
#68. In combat situations, your choices can be judged based only against what you knew at the time. To expect anything more of a soldier is to demand that he or she be superhuman. Which seems, to me, unreasonable.
Jim Butcher
#69. Boobs are near the center of the universe, until you turn twenty-five or so. Which is also when young men's auto insurance rates go down. This is not a coincidence.
Jim Butcher
#70. Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. It always has been.
Jim Butcher
#71. I'd had a key to the marina's locks at one time, but I'd lost track of it when I got shot, drowned, died, got revived into a coma, haunted my friends for a while, and then woke up in Mab's bed.
(My life. Hell's bells.)
Jim Butcher
#72. I'm dealing with a lot of scary things. I think you have to react to them. And you either laugh at them or you go insane.
Jim Butcher
#73. I flicked a comb through my wet hair, for all the good it would do, and said, "How do I look?"
"Mostly human," she said.
"That's what I was going for.
Jim Butcher
#74. But... my choices haven't always been very good," I said.
"Whose have?" he asked.
Jim Butcher
#76. You can't plan for everything or you never get started in the first place.
Jim Butcher
#77. Many, many mantles are worn - or discarded - on Halloween night, wizard.
Jim Butcher
#78. Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.
Jim Butcher
#79. Nobody can be bad at everything. There's no such thing as a perfect screwup.
Jim Butcher
#80. Doesn't matter how pretty you are. What's important is how pretty you feel. No one feels pretty when they hear "no" often enough.
Jim Butcher
#81. And since when had I become the guy that things happened to ten years ago?
Jim Butcher
#82. Not every man in the Senate is some kind of masterful schemer, exerting all his energies to acquire more power and influence at the expense of all others." "No," Isana agreed. "Some of them are incompetent schemers.
Jim Butcher
#83. Where is your unit?" Murphy asked.
I wiggled my eyebrows at her. "Right where it's always been, dollface.
Jim Butcher
#84. You never get a straight answer from captains. You should know that by now.
Jim Butcher
#85. I run - and not so that I'll be skinny and look good, either. I run so that when something that wants to kill me is chasing me, I'll be good at running.
Jim Butcher
#86. I'm lost. I know every step I took to get here, and I'm still lost.
Jim Butcher
#87. (One does not simply walk into Mordor--except that was exactly what everyone in the story did anyway.)
Jim Butcher
#88. You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!
Jim Butcher
#89. Mister Dresden is a diplomatically challenged individual. He should be in a shelter for the tactless.
Jim Butcher
#90. I don't have a muse. I have a mortgage.
Jim Butcher
#91. Grimm frowned. "Ah. Um. Am I in any danger?" "You're dead as a stone, man!" "I am?" "Yes. No, actually, not even remotely, but for purposes of this conversation, yes.
Jim Butcher
#92. Where germs go?"
"Sunrise," I said. "Poof."
Butter's voice sounded bewildered. "Vampire germs?"
"The tiny capes are a dead giveaway.
Jim Butcher
#93. That growing up is all about getting hurt. And then getting over it. You hurt. You recover. You move on. Odds are pretty good you're just going to get hurt again. But each time, you learn something.
Jim Butcher
#94. Ignorance is more than bliss, it's freaking orgasmic ecstacy!
Jim Butcher
#95. I've always admired your ability to be unilaterally irritating.
Jim Butcher
#96. Now, young man. That's no small thing,
Jim Butcher
#97. Susan's fingers wandered, and her eyes sparkled. "Your mouth says no," she purred, "but this says yes."
I went up on my toes, and swallowed, trying to keep my balance and get her hand off me at the same time. "That thing is always saying something stupid," I told her.
Jim Butcher
#98. It isn't good to hold on too hard to the past. You can't spend your whole life looking back. Not even when you can't see what lies ahead. All you can do is keep on keeping on, and try to believe that tomorrow will be what it should be - even if it isn't what you expected.
Jim Butcher
#99. Worry is fear in disguise. And fear will eat you from the inside out if you let it.
Jim Butcher
#100. I slammed the doors open a little harder than I needed to, stalked out to the Blue Beetle, and drove away with all the raging power the ancient four-cylinder engine should muster. Behold the angry wizard puttputt-putting away.
Jim Butcher
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