Top 78 Jefferies Quotes
#1. One thing that influenced me in the States when I was doing this recording was American people feeding me things like Arnold Dreyblatt, even things I should've heard back in New Zealand like Peter Jefferies and Jono Lonie 'At Swim 2 Birds.
Roy Montgomery
#2. We have a drinking game in Australia, it's called drinking.
Jim Jefferies
#3. In a world where we seem to be beset by a trend towards 'manualising treatment modalities' the person-centred approach stands and says NO, that is not the way forward.
Richard Bryant-Jefferies
#4. Christians are like a thirteen year old kid who still believes in Santa.
Jim Jefferies
#5. I desire a greatness of soul, an irradiance of mind, a deeper insight, a broader hope.
Richard Jefferies
#6. I can't imagine being a woman in the world of acting, like where you age starts to weigh you down - you go from being attractive to where they [directors] decided you're out ... I feel like with stand-up comedy, it doesn't matter if I've gotten fatter.
Jim Jefferies
#7. I definitely think the formula to making my character seem sweet is to let him act like a jerk, give him a redeeming moment, and have a sweet song playing over the background when it happens.
Jim Jefferies
#8. Almost every labourer has his Sunday suit, very often really good clothes, sometimes glossy black, with the regulation 'chimney pot'. His unfortunate walk betrays him, dress how he will.
Richard Jefferies
#9. Do you always do as you would like to do were it in your power? I find that circumstances force me often to act in a manner quite opposite to what I should prefer; I am, of course, judged by my acts, but do they really afford a true key to my character? I think not.
Richard Jefferies
#10. I must stay under the old tree in the midst of the long grass, the luxury of the leaves, and the song in the very air. It seems as if I could feel all the glowing life the sunshine gives and the south winds calls into being.
Richard Jefferies
#12. That I may have the soul-life, the soul-nature, let divine beauty bring to me divine soul.
Richard Jefferies
#13. I don't write my standup on paper or anything; but I just organically do it on stage, have an idea, chat it up a little bit. I'm keeping notes. I'm trying to keep up with this world and try to bring out a special every year.
Jim Jefferies
#14. I've never been the type of guy that had a lot of friends or was part of the cool group.
Jim Jefferies
#15. I have observed that almost all those whose labour lies in the field, and who go down to their business in the green meadows, admit the animal world to a share in the faculty of reason. It is the cabinet makers who construct a universe of automatons.
Richard Jefferies
#16. I don't think I've ever prayed in my entire life, never sat and had an imaginary chat with God.
Jim Jefferies
#17. Here's the thing about people who believe in god ... They're idiots.
Jim Jefferies
#18. If every plant and flower were found in all places, the charm of locality would not exist. Everything varies, and that gives the interest.
Richard Jefferies
#19. Myself and Jamie Moffat did not agree on everything but he always knew I had the experience.
Jim Jefferies
#20. Before doing stand-up, I thought acting was easy - it's not easy. It's a hard life. It's easy in its own way, you just stand there and talk. But there is a difference between people who can do it well and people who can't.
Jim Jefferies
#21. Every woman likes her own way, but no woman can endure to see another woman master even over a man who does not concern her.
Richard Jefferies
#22. There are people in this servile world who will endure any trampling, and at the first beck rush delightedly to proffer their assistance.
Richard Jefferies
#23. It would seem that the ant works its way tentatively, and, observing where it fails, tries another place and succeeds.
Richard Jefferies
#24. I think only things that are personal to us offend us. It's always bizarre when people who would normally laugh at an AIDS joke won't laugh at a cancer joke, but far more people know somebody who's died from cancer.
Jim Jefferies
#25. Some, I verily believe, delight to be slave-men; it is a joy to them, and they would not change their condition; not only miserable village wretches, but men in good position, well-to-do sycophants.
Richard Jefferies
#26. Beauty - what is beauty, forsooth? Form and color; that is, surface only. Fortune - what is fortune? Nothing is ever a pleasure or a real profit to him who has to labour for it. Truth - you die in the pursuit, and the sea beats the beach as it did a thousand years ago. The stolid are alone happy.
Richard Jefferies
#27. A kestrel can and does hover in the dead calm of summer days, when there is not the faintest breath of wind. He will, and does, hover in the still, soft atmosphere of early autumn, when the gossamer falls in showers, coming straight down as if it were raining silk.
Richard Jefferies
#28. No matter how successful I got, my mother still thinks I'm a bad person, basically.
Jim Jefferies
#29. If you hate gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person.
Jim Jefferies
#30. Many labourers can trace their descent from farmers or well-to-do people, and it is not uncommon to find here and there a man who believes that he is entitled to a large property in Chancery, or elsewhere, as the heir.
Richard Jefferies
#31. Is there anything so delicious as the first exploration of a great library - alone - unwatched?
Richard Jefferies
#32. I wouldn't perform in front of the Nazis. I hear they didn't take freedom of speech too well. It would be a fun gig to rip into them, but I don't think the ending would be great for me.
Jim Jefferies
#33. Science, as illustrated by the printing press, the telegraph, the railway, is a double-edged sword. At the same moment that it puts an enormous power in the hands of the good man, it also offers an equal advantage to the evil disposed.
Richard Jefferies
#34. The old Greeks dwelt on the tendency of human affairs to drift downwards irresistibly to unhappiness. Guilt - that is, untoward and often involuntary actions - pulls generation after generation heavily as lead down, down, down.
Richard Jefferies
#35. An inspiration - a long, deep breath of the pure air of thought - could alone give health to the heart.
Richard Jefferies
#36. It is easier to speak to those who have had similar experiences than to those who are as yet ignorant.
Richard Jefferies
#37. O beautiful human life! Tears come to my eyes as I think of it. So beautiful, so inexpressibly beautiful! The song should never be silent, the dance never still, the laugh should sound like water which runs forever.
Richard Jefferies
#38. The labourer's muscle is that of a cart-horse, his motions lumbering and slow.
Richard Jefferies
#39. This is the edge of the Universe, just a few feet above Hell.
G.W. Jefferies
#40. I don't want people to leave the show being upset. So if I am trying to do a new joke, and sometimes I will talk about things like gun control or hostile massacre and I notice people being upset I will change the direction.
Jim Jefferies
#41. When even the most strictly logical mind looks round and investigates the phenomena attending its own existence, perhaps the first fact to attract attention by its strongly marked prominence is the remarkable loneliness of man. He stands alone.
Richard Jefferies
#42. A woman can see a woman so clearly - faluts, excellences, details - all are so clear to her.
Richard Jefferies
#43. Stand-up is just me trying to be as funny as possible in the most concentrated hour with me standing on stage with no storyline, no plot line, and no character development.
Jim Jefferies
#44. Ever since the world began, it has been the belief of mankind that desolate places are the special haunt of supernatural beings.
Richard Jefferies
#45. Because of the way I've made my money or the way I've conducted myself in public to get success, it doesn't make me any better a person. So I always thought money and achievement would make me a more legitimate person, where my family seems to think it's all about actions.
Jim Jefferies
#47. I have tried reading the Bible but that's a tough read there. I watch a lot of religious documentaries. I have a keen interest in religion for someone who's not religious.
Jim Jefferies
#49. No tyrant, however evil, has yet lacked ready hands to execute his most abominable will. To read how eagerly men have rushed to serve the despot is the bitterest, the saddest matter of history; it is the saddest sight in our own day.
Richard Jefferies
#50. Nobody cares that you're smart and nobody cares that your kids don't have bruises.
Jim Jefferies
#51. It seems to me that they only seem to mention things in the Bible that are within a 5 mile radius of the guy writing it.
Jim Jefferies
#52. The soul throbs like the sea for a larger life. No thought which I have ever had has satisfied my soul.
Richard Jefferies
#53. A man, to read, must read alone. He may make extracts, he may work at books in company; but to read, to absorb, he must be solitary.
Richard Jefferies
#54. Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?
Jim Jefferies
#55. The thing about crazy people; they don't know they are crazy, that's what make them crazy.
Jim Jefferies
#56. The workman in the true sense of the word - the artist in guns - is either extinct, or hidden in an obscure corner. There is no individuality about modern guns. One is exactly like another.
Richard Jefferies
#57. To the darkness and the night, the spirits seem to have a natural claim - it is their realm; the boldest of us have sometimes felt an unaccountable creeping in the thick darkness.
Richard Jefferies
#58. The 'crownd' is still the unit, the favourite coin of the labourers, especially the elder folk. They use the word something in the same sense as the dollar, and look with regret upon the gradual disappearance of the broad silver disc with the figure of 'St. Gaarge' conquering the dragon.
Richard Jefferies
#59. I was 13 when I was started questioning and 16 when I stopped believing in God.
Jim Jefferies
#60. It is injurious to the mind as well as to the body to be always in one place and always surrounded by the same circumstances.
Richard Jefferies
#61. Let us get of these indoor narrow modern days, whose twelve hours somehow have become shortened, into the sunlight and the pure wind. A something that the ancients thought divine can be found and felt there still.
Richard Jefferies
#62. I believe in the human form; let me find something, some method, by which that form may achieve the utmost beauty.
Richard Jefferies
#63. It is quite true that women like courage, and that boldness often goes a long way; but it is questionable whether with high-bred natures a subdued, quiet, and delicate manner does not go still further.
Richard Jefferies
#64. Having your own show, where you're not in trouble all the time, because you're kind of the boss, is a wonderful experience. If I made mistakes everyone was very nice to me.
Jim Jefferies
#65. There's a lot of guys up there who like wearing a suit or try doing jokes that they think will play to a certain crowd, or maybe get them corporate work. I've always written jokes that I would want to hear. So, I'm trying to entertain myself more than anything.
Jim Jefferies
#66. Give me power of soul, so that I may actually effect by its will that which I strive for.
Richard Jefferies
#67. To the soul, there is no past and no future; all is, and will be ever, in now. For artificial purposes time is mutually agreed on, but there is really no such thing.
Richard Jefferies
#68. God built the world, but he did not know it was round.
Jim Jefferies
#69. It is eternity now. I am in the midst of it. It is about me in the sunshine; I am in it as the butterfly in the light-laden air. Nothing has to come; it is now. Now is eternity; now is the immortal life.
Richard Jefferies
#70. Every comedian is just doing the comedy they find funny. This is me and it's not clean in any way. I could get a lot more work on TV playing clean but it's never interesting.
Jim Jefferies
#71. With acting, it [auditioning] is very frustrating. I'm not very good at auditions. Sometimes I audition for a role and I'm like, I'd be really funny in that role, but I'm not good at auditions so I guess I'm not getting that role. It's a very frustrating job.
Jim Jefferies
#72. As for basic jokes about sex and even my religious stuff, I don't find any problems with that, even if I'm gigging in the Bible Belt, because religious people don't come and see me.
Jim Jefferies
#73. The heart has a yearning for the unknown, a longing to penetrate the deep shadow and the winding glade, where, as it seems, no human foot has been.
Richard Jefferies
#74. This sunlight linked me through the ages to that past consciousness.
Richard Jefferies
#75. Grief falls upon human beings as the rain, not selecting good or evil, visiting the innocent, condemning those who have done no wrong.
Richard Jefferies
#76. Look at another person while living; the soul is not visible, only the body which it animates. Therefore, merely because after death the soul is not visible is no demonstration that it does not still live.
Richard Jefferies
#77. Even though she looked the same, life had aged her, stolen her innocence, and replaced it with knowledge she'd never asked for.
Dinah Jefferies
#78. The impression left after watching the motions of birds is that of extreme mobility - a life of perpetual impulse checked only by fear.
Richard Jefferies
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