Top 100 Jeff Lindsay Quotes
#2. Aramaic has no vowels. So MLK spells Moloch." "Or milk," Deborah said. "Really, Debs, if you think our killer would tattoo milk on his neck, you need a nap.
Jeff Lindsay
#3. He smirked at me. "Channel Hog," he said. "Biggest goddamned hammerhead shark known to man. Over twenty feet long, and always hungry. I truly would not recommend taking a swim out there, buddy.
Jeff Lindsay
#5. I did not like this feeling of having feelings.
Jeff Lindsay
#6. He had an AM radio playing a conservative talk show. The host was making some very interesting statements about the president. I don't usually pay much attention to politics, but from what the man said, I had to believe that sometime in the recent past the laws regarding sedition must have changed.
Jeff Lindsay
#7. Hey," he said, and we all turned to look at him. Deke nodded at the floor. "The lady fainted," he said, and we all turned to look where he had nodded. Mrs. Aldovar, as advertised, was out cold on the floor.
Jeff Lindsay
#8. It was such an unexpected and genuine smile that if I only had a soul I'm sure I would have felt quite guilty.
Jeff Lindsay
#9. In its own way the kiss had been an act of murder.
Jeff Lindsay
#10. Apparently the police were hot on the trail of the Tamiami Butcher. There were no specifics available, but Captain Matthews got a lovely sound bite. He made it seem like he would personally make the arrest as soon as he finished his coffee.
Jeff Lindsay
#11. Mutilated corpses with a chance of afternoon showers. I got dressed and went to work.
Jeff Lindsay
#13. I was good at being charming, one of my very few vanities.
Jeff Lindsay
#14. Is that why you're crying?"
( ... ) "It's just hormones," she said. "I didn't want anyone to see."
I skipped over the image of anyone seeing her hormones and tried to focus on the heart of the matter.
Jeff Lindsay
#15. Quirky, funny, happy-go-lucky dead inside Dexter. No longer Dexter with the knife, Dexter the Avenger. Not until next time.
Jeff Lindsay
#16. He had committed hanky-panky with paperwork, and if something in the System is committed to paper, it becomes transubstantiated into a Sacred Relic. To
Jeff Lindsay
#17. But it's different for a girl, and Astor is at the age- It's not too dry, is it?" She said, frowning at my plate.
"It's perfect," I said.
"It is dry; I'm sorry. So I thought maybe if you would talk to her," Rita finished. I truly hoped she meant talk to Astor and not the pork chop.
Jeff Lindsay
#18. I wish to God I was organized enough to tell you that, 'Yes, there will be 14 books, and this one will go here, and that one will go there' ... but to be honest, I hardly know what I'm going to do when I get up in the morning.
Jeff Lindsay
#19. It is always nice to see the synapses clicking in a way that lets you know your opinion of yourself is sometimes justified.
Jeff Lindsay
#20. looked some more. Beside the ship, cargo cranes reared up into the night sky like abandoned props from Star Wars. A
Jeff Lindsay
#21. So you're not going to die, are you?" she [Astor] asked politely.
"Not yet," I said. "Not until after you do your homework."
She nodded, glanced toward the kitchen, and said, "I hate math." Then she wandered away down the hall, presumably to hate math at closer range.
Jeff Lindsay
#22. I find others, those who prey on the innocent and do not play by the rules, and I make them go away in small, carefully wrapped pieces.
Jeff Lindsay
#23. I certainly try to avoid getting bogged down in forensics. There is certainly a whole lot of other writers who know a lot more than me about it. I know enough about it to do a little bit of background on laboratory techniques and stuff. But it kind of bores me.
Jeff Lindsay
#24. Because no matter how far you may travel, you are what you are, and even when you are flying at thrilling new heights, circling the sun and thinking you belong in the halo of that perfect golden light, you do not. The wings always melt, and you always crash-land in your same old self.
Jeff Lindsay
#25. 'Dexter' has been very, very good to me. I would rather stop doing it than cheapen it.
Jeff Lindsay
#26. I'm quite sure more people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake all of it.
Dexter
Jeff Lindsay
#27. Something it's reassuring to know I'm not the only one pretending to be normal.
Jeff Lindsay
#28. It's not that I have anything to hide - I've already hidden all of it - but
Jeff Lindsay
#29. I don't do my job to catch the bad guys. Why would I want to do that? No, I do my job to make order out of chaos.
Jeff Lindsay
#30. And so as much as I can, I care about her, dear Deborah. It's probably not love, but I would rather she were happy.
Jeff Lindsay
#31. Still, it's always nice to be around somebody who thinks I am wonderful. It confirms my low opinion of people.
Jeff Lindsay
#32. That left either magical powers or coincidence, and although I have nothing at all against Harry Potter, coincidence got my vote.
Jeff Lindsay
#33. I do as much as I can. I even drive through the chase scenes several times to make sure the details are right.
Jeff Lindsay
#34. Quickly, Watson, the game's afoot, I said, but Deborah was not in a literary mood.
Jeff Lindsay
#35. God, it's like I have something, deep down inside of me, that i think is undeserving of love.
Jeff Lindsay
#36. Certainly no one on-site asked for my opinion, but I have always felt there should be no leftovers. It's untidy, and it shows a lack of a real workmanlike spirit.
Jeff Lindsay
#37. I suppose that anyone with even a little bit of self-awareness will eventually feel like a complete hypocrite in the company of children, and this was my time.
Jeff Lindsay
#38. Anytime somebody is absolutely certain about something, they are almost always absolutely wrong
Jeff Lindsay
#39. They like to tell us that it is important to speak the truth, but it has been my experience that real happiness lies in having people tell you what you want to believe, usually not the same thing at all, and if you have to stub your toe on the truth later, so be it.
Jeff Lindsay
#40. My first true lesson in writing came from Mr. Bowden when I was 16. At my high school, he was the teacher known to be the very best at literature and writing.
Jeff Lindsay
#41. How bad could things be if my hair was neat?
Jeff Lindsay
#42. I suppose I should have died right then from pure misery and self-pity, but if those things were fatal, no one would ever make it past thirteen years old.
Jeff Lindsay
#43. It had been my experience that fatherhood was mostly a matter of suffering the insufferable, tolerating the intolerable, and changing diapers.
Jeff Lindsay
#44. It was almost enough to make me feel emotion.
Jeff Lindsay
#45. What Robert was trying to do so intently was, in fact, no more than craft. He did no more than copy my tics and twitches - even to the point of staring at my family portrait, a very personal part of my disguise, for his character research -
Jeff Lindsay
#46. In that tremendous flash of freedom, on my way to do The Thing for the first time, sanctioned by Almighty Harry, I receded, faded back into the scenery of my own dark self, whole the other me crouched and growled. I would do It at last, do what I had been created to do. And I did.
Jeff Lindsay
#47. But the rules are made by people who couldn't win without 'em.
Jeff Lindsay
#48. Why should I let anything stand in the way of life, liberty, and the pursuit of vivisection? I
Jeff Lindsay
#49. A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.
Jeff Lindsay
#50. There are millions of homeless children in the world - which proved again that kids were a low-value commodity, didn't it? I mean, there are very few homeless Bentleys in the world.
Jeff Lindsay
#51. Not always. Sometimes it's ass, Vince said, cleverly bringing ass back into the conversation one more time. I began to wonder if there was a hidden camera, with a smirking game-show host handing out a prize every time we used the word.
Jeff Lindsay
#52. When I was a playwright earlier in my career - my senior project in high school was my first produced play - I used to put on the title page: 'A tragedy with laughs.'
Jeff Lindsay
#53. But as I look around me at all the absurdly expensive fuss and clutter, I ask it anyway. How did I get here?
Jeff Lindsay
#54. Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.
Jeff Lindsay
#55. You can use my phone, if you'll pay the roaming charges," I said.
"I need a land line," he said "A pay phone."
"You're out of touch with the times," I said. "A pay phone might be a little hard to find. Nobody uses them anymore.
Jeff Lindsay
#56. Marvel Comics has always been a place where I felt at home. It has been a very important part of my life and has always been a wellspring of creative and relevant ideas.
Jeff Lindsay
#57. It was a tremendous stroke of good luck that the show got Michael C. Hall to play the part. Everyone I've talked to thinks Michael is a perfect 'Dexter,' which never happens.
Jeff Lindsay
#58. I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?
Jeff Lindsay
#59. They were spoken in the heat of an unpleasant moment, and not to be taken at face value in any permanent sense. Remember
Jeff Lindsay
#60. Miami drivers have long ago take the simple chore of going from one place to another and turned it into a kind of high-speed, heavily armed game of high-stakes bumper cars.
Jeff Lindsay
#61. Would she really abandon me, her own dear brother? Leave me to a fate worse than death, although certainly including it? I didn't think she would, not willingly. I took a sip of water and tried to think it through. She
Jeff Lindsay
#62. It would be much too difficult for anyone to get in and out of this area, especially if they were carrying questionable loads of body parts and the like.
Jeff Lindsay
#63. I found Deborah waiting for me, slumped into my chair and looking like the poster girl for the National Brooding Outrage Foundation.
Jeff Lindsay
#64. Sociopaths don't have feelings; they can't.
Jeff Lindsay
#65. I was never more alive than when the Dark Passenger was driving.
Jeff Lindsay
#66. Since I am not actually a real human being, my emotional responses are generally limited to what I have learned to fake.
Jeff Lindsay
#67. Our complimentary dinner that evening was really quite nice. I have always found that free meals taste just a little bit better, and after two days of the rapacious greed of the Key West economy, this was succulent indeed. And
Jeff Lindsay
#68. Everybody believes that capital punishment is wrong, but when they look at certain cases, they're quick to say, 'Put them to death,' or scream 'capital punishment.'
Jeff Lindsay
#69. And as we should all know by now, anytime you predict failure you have an excellent chance of being right.
Jeff Lindsay
#71. Getting yelled at by a furious woman should be a semi-formal occasion.
Jeff Lindsay
#72. I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book
Jeff Lindsay
#73. Why bother inflicting enormous pain on yourself when sooner or later Life would certainly get around to doing it for you?
Jeff Lindsay
#74. Detective, I don't know where the boyfriend is, really, I said. And it was true, considering tide, current, and the habits of marine scavengers. -Dexter
Jeff Lindsay
#75. It was beautiful - in a terrible sort of way, of course. But still, the arrangement was perfect, compelling, beautifully bloodless.
Jeff Lindsay
#77. I thought about getting out and looking for some kind of clue, until I realized how silly that was. Did I think I was Tonto, faithful Indian guide? I couldn't look at a bent twig and tell how many white men had been past in the last hour.
Jeff Lindsay
#78. It happens; incompetence is rewarded more often than not.
Jeff Lindsay
#79. He looked natural and unrushed, and had obviously had a lot of experience at either chicanery or skulduggery, depending on which word was better suited for describing officially sanctioned mischief.
Jeff Lindsay
#80. I spent the rest of the workday on routine paperwork, snarling at misplaced files and seething at the stupidity of everyone else's report writing
when did Grammar die?
Jeff Lindsay
#81. Perhaps I should call the Guinness Book people. I wondered what the world record was for not being sure whether you committed a string of murders?
Jeff Lindsay
#82. After a long moment I closed the freezer door. I wanted to lie down and press my cheek against the cool linoleum. Instead I reached out with my little finger and flipped the Barbie's head. It went thack thack against the door. I flipped it again. Thack thack. Whee. I had a new hobby.
Jeff Lindsay
#83. It's always me, isn't it? I'm not really a very nice person, but for some reason it's always me that they come to with their problems.Oh, Dexter, a savage inhuman monster has taken my boyfriend! Well damn it, I'm a savage inhuman monster, too - didn't that entitle me to some rest?
Jeff Lindsay
#84. Deborah just watched him as he skidded to a stop in front of her. He seemed young for a dentist, maybe thirty, and in all honesty he looked a little too buff, too, as though he had been pumping iron when he should have been filling cavities. Deborah
Jeff Lindsay
#86. Dogs were always a problem. They don't like me and they quite often disapprove of what I do to their masters, especially since I don't share the good pieces.
Jeff Lindsay
#87. I was expecting someone dark to play 'Dexter' - someone like Johnny Depp.
Jeff Lindsay
#88. And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self.
Jeff Lindsay
#89. I don't have much time to sit and watch a lot of TV. And I can't really binge-watch.
Jeff Lindsay
#90. I try to write as serious as possible, and then a joke slips in.
Jeff Lindsay
#92. Of course I am," I said. "Give her time to get well. Everything will be fine." No lightning struck me when I said it, so I suppose it was possible that I was right.
Jeff Lindsay
#93. My story is simple, straightforward, and unassailable. I learned
Jeff Lindsay
#94. I really am guilty, of many somethings, all of them lethal and very enjoyable and technically not quite legal.
Jeff Lindsay
#95. Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.
Jeff Lindsay
#96. This is going to be awesome, Jackie gurgled. Deborah did not appear to agree.
Jeff Lindsay
#97. If I ever have to see something like that again," he told us, "I will retire and raise dachshunds.
Jeff Lindsay
#98. I rose to my knees, mouth dry and heart pounding, and paused to finger a rip in my beautiful Dacron bowling shirt. I pushed my fingertip through the hole and wiggled it at myself. Hello, Dexter, where are you going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I don't know, but I'm almost there. I hear my friends calling.
Jeff Lindsay
#99. Why Jackie?" Robert said. I was glad to see he had already moved on to his next neurotic worry. "Why does she get on camera? I mean, I can laugh harder than she can any day.
Jeff Lindsay
#100. Deborah's little house was lavishly decorated in I-have-no-life modern.
Jeff Lindsay
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