It Not A Joke Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 100 famous quotes and sayings about it not a joke to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 100 It Not A Joke Quotes

#1. I thought I could make a sarcastic joke about it. But it's based on my own struggle with how much to give, how much it's really helping or not, and how foolish or not I feel. Giving sometimes backfires ... - Author: Nicole Holofcener
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#2. If something stinks, I say it stinks. But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting, come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep, but now let me put a couple of stitches in you. - Author: Wanda Sykes
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#3. I even get tired performing standup, which is normally a low-impact exercise in futility but looks hard the way I do it. That's why I take a lot of breaks, often stopping in the middle of a joke to catch my breath, or blame the crowd for not laughing before the punchline. - Author: Andy Kindler
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#4. You can analyse a joke and say it's funny because this guy thought this was going to happen, and that happened, and it's surprising. But not all surprising things are funny. - Author: John Lloyd
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#5. They take away your options and all you can do is live, and it's just like Humble said: I'm not afraid of dying; I'm afraid of living. I was afraid before, but I'm afraid even more now that I'm a public joke. - Author: Ned Vizzini
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#6. Watson loved them sour kind of jokes, which I enjoyed myself. I mean, ain't life some kind of a sour joke? Might's well laugh, that's the way him and me seen it, whether nice folks seen the joke or not. One time when Watson caught me grinning along with him, he give a wink and lifted up his hat. - Author: Peter Matthiessen
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#7. Our world will not die as a result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, of making a joke of everything, and a lousy joke at that." Professor - Author: Carlos Ruiz Zafon
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#8. We used to joke about canned men, putting people in a can and seeing how far you can send them and bring them back. That's not the purpose of this program ... Space is a laboratory, and we go into it to work and learn the new. - Author: John Glenn
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#9. I felt I should have been the happiest person in the world. But I looked inside, and that happiness was only on the surface, not so deep. Beneath it was hollow. Up until that time, I had been thinking meditation was a joke, a fad and a waste of time. - Author: David Lynch
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#10. When I go to the bathrooms, I cannot take off my pants as before; because there is a light continuously blinking like a camera, everyone says it is just an environmental friendly lighting. Well, I cannot really trust it and I am not taking the risk of circulating my naked photos around. - Author: M.F. Moonzajer
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#11. I honestly and truly love and believe in what I'm making, and it's not a joke, whereas some people would take a singer-songwriter sitting behind an acoustic guitar as sincere. - Author: Casey Spooner
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#12. I've always wanted to have a suitcase handcuffed to my wrist. That's not a full joke there! It's filler. - Author: Mitch Hedberg
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#13. A lot of people don't get my humor. My mom calls it dry humor. I think that means "not funny," but it also means I'm the only one who ever knows it's a joke. - Author: Kasie West
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#14. Werewolves never joke about age," he said solemnly.
"Why not?"
Connor shrugged, a smile teasing his lips. "I dunno," he finally admitted. "I just thought it sounded good. - Author: Rose Wynters
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#15. It's mandatory in this day and age to be considered to have a sense of humor and to demonstrate it. You're not paying me for a joke, You're paying me for the right joke. - Author: Robert Orben
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#16. It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. - Author: Max Eastman
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#17. No, that part's not true! That's a joke-lie. I'm not going to lie to you in this story because I want you to know that the rest of it is true. - Author: Tina Fey
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#18. There is no reason for believing that any sort of gods exist, and quite good reasons for believing that they do not exist and never have. It has all been a gigantic waste of time and a waste of life. It would be a joke of cosmic proportions if it weren't so tragic. - Author: Richard Dawkins
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#19. It is a good plan, with a young person of a character to be much affected by ludicrous and absurd representations, to show him plainly by examples that there is nothing which may not be thus represented. He will hardly need to be told that everything is not a mere joke. - Author: Richard Whately
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#20. I use a lot of humor, and I follow the saying that if you want to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh first, otherwise, they will shoot you. So I can tell you a joke and maybe you will laugh at the beginning. But it's not about telling jokes. - Author: Sayed Kashua
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#21. Did I have a heart to be contented? Well, no, not particularly. I had a tendency to be discontented: ambitious, dissatisfied, fretful, and tough to please ... It's easier to complain than to laugh, easier to yell than to joke around, easier to be demanding than to be satisfied. - Author: Gretchen Rubin
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#22. Joke stealing is a big deal to me, but I mean, I'm not going to investigate it if it doesn't effect me directly. - Author: Greg Giraldo
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#23. Guys will definitely settle for women who get the joke. But a woman who can make you laugh? It's not high on a guy's must list. Perhaps it should be. - Author: Hank Azaria
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#24. Running for me is a sport. It's not a joke. It's serious. - Author: J. R. Martinez
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#25. Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through their skins. - Author: Henry Ward Beecher
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#26. It's crazy because people expect you to be funny all the time and every day is not a funny day. I go to funerals and people are like 'tell a joke' and 'say one of your lines in a movie.' It's a funeral, man! - Author: Chris Tucker
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#27. I will do almost anything for the sake of a joke or for the sake of someone's real belief in something to help tell a story. I will not do something shocking for the sake of being nasty. If it's not hurting anyone's feelings, I'm in on the joke. - Author: Selma Blair
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#28. Not that I don't think irreverent humor and someone being filthy is funny, I just do what I do. Any comedian would admit throwing an f-bomb in there would help get a reaction ... I'm not on a Puritanical pursuit, but when I would curse in a joke, I believe I'm not done writing it. - Author: Jim Gaffigan
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#29. That line again. For Ian, a joke was not a single-use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hands like a cheap umbrella. - Author: David Nicholls
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#30. It was only a joke, Mia," says Bree gently. "Of course I do not wish that. No one really wishes to be queen. - Author: Kendare Blake
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#31. Not really riding weather, is it, miss? Unless you're a duck." He chuckled at his own joke.
"Quack," Jenna said... - Author: Deborah Blake
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#32. It's easier not to make a particular joke in case it offends. But every joke will offend someone, and I've always believed that the audience is bigger than one person. The danger is that things will become bland. - Author: David Walliams
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#33. I'm not the comedy police, but you watch a movie, and everyone's laughing, and then you shake it out, and you realize, 'There's no joke there!' - Author: Maria Semple
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#34. Could you imagine me and the roasters taking on the GOP field? It would be the greatest show ever. Prove that you can take a joke. Prove that you're a man or woman of the people. Prove that you're not above criticism even in the form of a backhanded compliment. - Author: Jeff Ross
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#35. The incarnation is a kind of vast joke whereby the Creator of the ends of the earth comes among us in diapers ... Until we too have taken the idea of the God-man seriously enough to be scandalized by it, we have not taken it as seriously as it demands to be taken. - Author: Frederick Buechner
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#36. Did you?' the producer said. 'He's so clownish on the surface, all joke and dazzle. How in the world could you have seen it?'
'But I did. The moment I met him," she said. "A fucking supernova. Every day since.' She thought, but did not say, almost. - Author: Lauren Groff
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#37. Once you've heard the joke, it's not funny anymore, but it's the way it's told. And I think that's the same with the music: The reason some of my songs have lasted longer is there's a lot of stuff packed in there. You want to hear them more than once. - Author: Tom Lehrer
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#38. Popped a handful of pills, washing them down with a bottle of water. It was Yolanda. The officers and BH team were standing not twenty feet away from her and didn't recognize her. They were laughing and joking. I need to get there, now. This isn't a joke. - Author: Victor Methos
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#39. We laugh. Bec stares at us uncertainly, then joins in. She sounds a bit like Bill-E when she laughs, and for a few happy moments it's as if me, my brother and uncle are together again, relaxing in Dervish's study, sharing a joke, not a care in the world. - Author: Darren Shan
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#40. If you find you are not understanding my explaination for a joke, hit F5 on your browser and the page will refresh and I will explain it again. - Author: Ryan North
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#41. When I'm concentrating, I can be fixed in place for hours. In fact, there was a joke in my office that everybody would come and chat outside my door because they knew - no matter how loud they talked - if I was concentrating, it would not disturb me at all. - Author: Sonia Sotomayor
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#42. I thought it would be such a sick joke to have to remain to be alive for decades and not believe in or feel anything. - Author: Douglas Coupland
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#43. Obviously the name of the show is a joke, a friend of mine gave it to me. But some people are very literal. Sometimes you see things like "He's not the smartest man in the world! All he does is drink." Well, they're not listening very closely. - Author: Greg Proops
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#44. I don't say things straight into the other person's face. I kind of like to make a joke or a remark and make it digestible or just give a little comment that voices my concern, but is not meant to be a critique, but just a comment so that he understands that I am thinking. - Author: Christoph Waltz
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#45. She did not believe that the world was a vale of tears but rather a joke that God had played and that it was idiotic to take it seriously. - Author: Isabel Allende
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#46. Our world will not die as the result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, or making a joke of everything, and a lousy joke at that. - Author: Carlos Ruiz Zafon
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#47. There was polite laughter in the courtroom. Bosch noticed that the attorneys
prosecution and defense
dutifully joined in, a couple of them overdoing it. It had been his experience that while in open court a judge could not possibly tell a joke that the lawyers did not laugh at. - Author: Michael Connelly
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#48. Did you know that at one time trick-or-treating was stopped? It's true. During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Author: Linda Bozzo
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#49. I'm not a big one for jokes. I can't tell a joke, believe it or not. If you gave me a thousand bucks and said, 'Don, get up at a party and tell a joke', I'm the worst. - Author: Don Rickles
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#50. Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it's not jokes that are funny, it's characters that are funny. And isn't that true! That's why I always kill jokes. I'm terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can't get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon. - Author: David Mitchell
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#51. There used to be an old bad joke. I hope it's not so much a good joke anymore. 'Everybody's from Scranton; no one's in Scranton.' - Author: Joe Biden
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#52. I find it deeply upsetting when I see justice not being served. How do we as human beings deal with the unknown? The West Memphis Three trial is a joke on so many different levels. - Author: Atom Egoyan
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#53. It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke across in as few words as possible. However, sometimes a word that's not really needed does help the rhythm of it. It's a gut feeling. - Author: Steven Wright
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#54. Everything you see comes from inside. People don't see it but inside the dressing room we laugh and joke a lot so it's not just for the cameras. It's the way things are off the pitch too. We are happy for each other, it is all natural. - Author: Luis Suarez
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#55. Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else ... - Author: Demetri Martin
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#56. Always warm up the audience with a joke ... If you are not a particularly funny person, make sure that you inform them that it's a joke ... - Author: Jacob M. Appel
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#57. Is there any other way to Erudite headquarters?" I say. "Not that I now of," says Cara. "Unless you want to jump from one roof to another." She laughs a little as she says it, like it's a joke. I raise my eyebrows at her. "Wait," she says. "You aren't considering
? - Author: Veronica Roth
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#58. If we hear a joke so awful that we laugh at how bad it is, we are taking part in the irony; in other words, the joke did not contain irony; irony was provided by our response. Why is it ironic? Because the intent of the joke was to get laughter, and it did - but for the wrong reason. - Author: Dan O'Shannon
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#59. I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes. - Author: Carol Burnett
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#60. Rachel snatched her hand back. Sorry, I forgot the rules. Everything's a joke until it's not, and words don't mean anything until you want them to. - Author: Kit Rocha
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#61. And yes, my plan will continue to reduce the carbon pollution that is heating our planet - because climate change is not a hoax. More droughts and floods and wildfires are not a joke. They're a threat to our children's future. And in this election, you can do something about it. - Author: Barack Obama
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#62. oh jesus. that is not a good joke Madeline: Made you smile though. Olly: yeah it did - Author: Nicola Yoon
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#63. A joke was not a single-use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hand like a cheap umbrella. - Author: David Nicholls
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#64. Any so-called leader who does not take this issue (climate change) seriously or treats it like a joke is not fit to lead - Author: Barack Obama
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#65. My dear Boris, can you not take a joke?" "Was it a joke? - Author: Agatha Christie
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#66. I think we're the only jokeless show on television. I mean really, we have no setups and no punch lines. It's not a joke show. There are funny lines and funny moments but again the comedy is born of the human experience and awkward pauses are a great part of what it is to be human. - Author: Rainn Wilson
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#67. I tell you it's no joke to paint a portrait. I wonder that I am not more timid when I begin. I feel almost certain that I can do it. It seems very simple. I don't think of the time that is sure to come when I almost despair, when the whole thing seems hopeless. - Author: William Morris Hunt
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#68. I curse in everyday life, but usually when I stub my toe. The topics I'm discussing, it's not necessary to curse. I found [cursing] is a sign that a joke is not finished or well-written. - Author: Jim Gaffigan
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#69. Darwin Award. That's not a real award, it's a joke. They give them to people who die doing something so stupid that it counts as a service to humanity. - Author: Gregg Dunnett
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#70. It's almost a joke how good I am at charades. Not to pat my own back, but I'm literally - I'm kind of unstoppable. - Author: Wilson Bethel
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#71. Real racist jokes or sexist jokes aren't funny - not because they're offensive, but because they're not true. As soon as a joke is based on an untruth, it's not funny. - Author: Ricky Gervais
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#72. When I look at my audience, I can tell better who's in the crowd and the kind of joke I shouldn't do. It's just complicated. I guess I sift through to make sure these jokes are a little different with not such a harsh edge to them. That's pretty much how I handle the crowd. - Author: Larry The Cable Guy
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#73. It's not a joke: I really do like being at home. - Author: Karl Pilkington
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#74. Comedy is so subjective. You could be in a room with 400 people laughing at a joke and you could just not think it's funny. You're just sitting there like, 'Am I in the twilight zone? Why is everyone laughing?' It's such a personal thing. People have such a personal visceral response to comedy. - Author: Todd Phillips
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#75. I rarely joke unless I'm in front of a camera. It's not what I am in real life. It's what I do for a living. - Author: Christopher Guest
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#76. There is no reason why a joke should not be appreciated more than once. Imagine how little good music there would be if, for example, a conductor refused to play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony on the ground that his audience might have heard it before. - Author: A.P. Herbert
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#77. When he thought of a joke he made it, and was called brilliant. When he could not think of a joke he said that this was no time for trifling, and was called able. - Author: G.K. Chesterton
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#78. Writing books is fun because after I do a show for a couple hours, I'm in a bus for 22 hours. It's not hard for me to look out the window and tell a joke here and there. - Author: Willie Nelson
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#79. Gray texted me a joke the other day. Want to hear it?"
"Knowing Gray's terrible jokes, probably not. But okay."
He rubs the back of his neck. "What do you call a cow with no legs?"
I caress his waist where muscles ripple. "What?"
"Ground beef. - Author: Kristen Callihan
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#80. I don't do plays without jokes anymore. I've retired from those plays. I think it's bad manners to invite people to sit in the dark for two and a half hours and not tell them the joke. - Author: Bill Nighy
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#81. A dirty joke is not, of course, a serious attack on morality, but it is a sort of mental rebellion, a momentary wish that things were otherwise. - Author: George Orwell
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#82. I can honestly say that in my time in America, I have not encountered any racism. When Jim Thorpe and I make fun of each other on the range, or even when a white player makes a joke about my color, I take it as what it is-a joke-and give it back accordingly. - Author: Vijay Singh
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#83. A project goal like a joke. If you have to explain it, it is not good / fun. - Author: Gerry Geek
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#84. John-Paul?" TWO If this is a joke," said Tess, "it's not funny. - Author: Liane Moriarty
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#85. The dead girl had her glimpse of earthly paradise: littered with designer goods, and celebrities to sneer at, and handsome drivers to joke with, and the yearning for it had brought her to this: seven mourners, and a minister who did not know her name. - Author: Robert Galbraith
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#86. In a weird way, it's not different from any other kind of joke-telling. You make those calculations about jokes about celebrities: is this a fair hit or not? The stakes were higher because the whole world was crumbling around us, but in terms of joke-telling, it's all about feel. - Author: Michael Schur
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#87. When you're in the editing room, the dangerous thing is that it becomes like telling a joke again and again and again. Eventually, the joke starts to not be funny. So you have to be careful that you're not throwing the baby out with the bath water. - Author: Ridley Scott
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#88. I think for a lot of people, bowling is sort of a joke. But I love it, and it means a lot to me, so any chance to help promote it or celebrate it or not make the hackiest jokes - 'Bowlers are like plumbers and they wear the craziest shirts!' - I'm way into. - Author: Chris Hardwick
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#89. No one, even as a joke, could call a member of the all-Union Communist Party a Neo-Hegelian, a Neo-Kantian, a Subjectivist, an Agnostic, or, God forbid, a Revisionist. But "epicurean" sounded so harmless it could not possibly imply that one was not an orthodox Marxist. - Author: Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
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#90. First of all, Saddam did not win the war, even though he says he did, I mean, you know, that's a joke and everybody in the world knows it. - Author: Norman Schwarzkopf
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#91. Don't judge. That was a joke. How could I not? Everyone judged whether we admitted to it or not, usually saving the harshest criticisms for ourselves. - Author: Donna Augustine
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#92. Directing a movie is serious, it's not a joke. - Author: Fred Durst
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#93. They make a fuss about Hogsmeade, but I assure you, Harry, it's not all it's cracked up to be. All right, the sweetshop's rather good, and Zonko's Joke Shop's frankly dangerous, and yes, the Shrieking Shack is always worth a visit, but really, Harry, apart from that, you're not missing anything. - Author: J.K. Rowling
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#94. Life is a joke, even though it is not always funny. - Author: Stephan Attia
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#95. Writing a book has about it some of the anxiety of telling a joke and having to wait several years to know whether or not it was funny. - Author: Alain De Botton
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#96. Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere. - Author: Jeff Ross
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#97. The joke was thinking you were ever really in charge of your life. You pressed your oar down into the water to direct the canoe, but it was the current that shot you through the rapids. You just hung on and hoped not to hit a rock or a whirlpool. - Author: Scott Turow
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#98. I'm not big on fat jokes. That's a little beneath me. I'm not a huge fan of making a joke - and as I say this, I'm sure I do it - completely at someone else's expense. - Author: Michael Showalter
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#99. A leg?" repeated Detective Inspector Eric Wardle on the end of the line. "A fucking leg?"
"And it's not even my size," said Strike, a joke he would not have made had Robin been present. - Author: Robert Galbraith
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#100. I'm sorry, Hen. I still have feelings for you. It's just that my band needs a real bass player now. We're not a joke band anymore. Okay, sweetie?'
That was how Petra Dostoyevsky fired me. - Author: Daniel Ehrenhaft
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