Top 100 Irs's Quotes

#1. I took the one letter he had for us. It was from the Switchblade Gas & Electric Company. I didn't know I had admirers there too, but I wasn't that surprised. I threw it in the trash with the IRS's love letters and closed the door without reply.

The Harvard Lampoon

Irs's Quotes #10054
#2. Low-income taxpayers deserve the same rights as everyone else. It was wrong of the IRS to target low-income taxpayers, and I am please by the decision to correct this unfair practice.

Christopher Dodd

Irs's Quotes #17537
#3. Anybody who is familiar with the historical data from the IRS knows that raising income tax rates will likely actually reduce federal revenues.

Mike Pence

Irs's Quotes #26829
#4. Most voters would rather have their purse or wallet stolen than be audited by the IRS.

Frank Luntz

Irs's Quotes #31814
#5. Why can't Americans do their own taxes? Because the federal Tax Code is out of control, that's why. It's gigantic and insanely complex, and it gets worse all the time. Nobody has ever read the whole thing. IRS workers are afraid to go into the same ROOM with it.

Dave Barry

Irs's Quotes #72289
#6. Article II of the articles of impeachment against Richard Nixon was just the simple fact that he talked about and suggested the potential use of the IRS against one or two political opponents.

Monica Crowley

Irs's Quotes #79137
#7. I hate it. I just do. That [artificial turf], local news, the IRS, and hair dryers are the four worst inventions of the century.

Beano Cook

Irs's Quotes #85621
#8. We don't want the efficiency of the federal government and the compassion of the IRS to run our health care.

Todd Akin

Irs's Quotes #109898
#9. I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke, but I
don't want to get audited by the IRS.

Jay Leno

Irs's Quotes #123775
#10. The money was going to come and go, between a wife and the IRS. The thrill of beating the best field in golf is what will always stay with me.

Calvin Peete

Irs's Quotes #127798
#11. From the IRS standpoint, 15,000 new employees have to be added just to, you know, administer ObamaCare and look at the tax implications.

Jeff Fitzgerald

Irs's Quotes #134934
#12. I have often thought that the difference between a cult and a religion is an IRS ruling.

Ron Barrier

Irs's Quotes #142063
#13. Obama's IRS is not the IRS I've ever known for over seventy years as an American citizen.

Michael Moriarty

Irs's Quotes #144476
#14. It's a game. We tax lawyers teach the rich how to play it so they can stay rich-and the IRS keeps changing the rules so we can keep getting rich teaching them.

John Grisham

Irs's Quotes #151844
#15. Form 1040 was chosen by the IRS because for every $50 you earn, you get 10 and they get 40.

Jay Leno

Irs's Quotes #158390
#16. The IRS is currently considering a rule that would make it easier for tax preparers to disclose the private information contained in tax returns - including name, address, Social Security number, employer, income, and charitable donations.

Melissa Bean

Irs's Quotes #165657
#17. Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.

Charles M. Schulz

Irs's Quotes #167982
#18. My last divorce was in '68. What made it come to a head was a promise. See, I had promised her that the next year I wouldn't work as much. But then I got in trouble with the IRS, and I had to continue working just as much to pay the government. So she said I lied, which is something I never did.

B.B. King

Irs's Quotes #181220
#19. I'd once overheard my daddy tell my momma that the six Winston boys had inherited their father's ability to charm snakes, the IRS, and women.

Penny Reid

Irs's Quotes #190056
#20. The real problem with the IRS is that they let General Electric not pay any taxes
and 50 other corporations
that's the real scandal

Michael Moore

Irs's Quotes #252185
#21. Celebrate me for who I am, dislike me for what I ain't ( ... ) put me up on a pedestal or drag me down in the dirt ( ... ) this is who I am, you can like ir or not, you can love me or leave me cuz I'm never gonna stop

Madonna Ciccone

Irs's Quotes #280662
#22. When preparing your return, you should be sure to avoid common mistakes. The two most common taxpayer mistakes, states the IRS booklet, are (1) "failure to include a current address," and (2) "failure to be a large industry that gives humongous contributions to key tax-law-writing congresspersons."

Dave Barry

Irs's Quotes #300303
#23. Every day, IRS agents levy liens on homes, bank accounts, and businesses; they confiscate cars, furniture, boats, and other personal property without the constitutional protections of due notice, hearing, and due process. If a person forcibly resists, government agents kill him for resisting arrest.

Jacob G. Hornberger

Irs's Quotes #301821
#24. It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta

Dave Barry

Irs's Quotes #321300
#25. The cost of taxpayer compliance with [the tax code] is over $80 billion per year, more than eight times the cost of the IRS budget

Charles O. Rossotti

Irs's Quotes #330968
#26. Make no mistake, tax cheaters cheat us all, and the IRS should enforce our laws to the letter.

Tom Daschle

Irs's Quotes #334426
#27. Long before Wesley Snipes decided he didn't need to pay the IRS, Willie Nelson was dodging the tax men.

Shawn Amos

Irs's Quotes #343396
#28. Only in America does 'health' 'care' 'reform' begin with the hiring of 16,500 new IRS agents tasked with determining whether your insurance policy merits a fine.

Mark Steyn

Irs's Quotes #365713
#29. Print neatly. That's the kind of advice that the IRS considers a "dynamite" tax tip. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless.

Dave Barry

Irs's Quotes #397109
#30. Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS.

Gene Perret

Irs's Quotes #401289
#31. Huguette Clark has had her own tax liens - four times, the IRS has filed to collect taxes from her.

Bill Dedman

Irs's Quotes #406659
#32. The IRS says it's been getting death threats since the health care bill passed because the IRS is going to be the ones in charge of implementing it. They say the threats people are making to the IRS are so bad, that they are actually hindering the IRS's ability to threaten people.

Jay Leno

Irs's Quotes #410760
#33. The Internal Revenue Service is more ruthless than the Gestapo. Abolish the IRS! Stamp out organized crime!

Evel Knievel

Irs's Quotes #453210
#34. Musicians now find themselves in the unlikely position of being legitimate. At least the IRS thinks so.

Billy Joel

Irs's Quotes #502659
#35. We must get rid of the IRS. It's a bureaucracy fraught with totalitarianism.

Sonny Bono

Irs's Quotes #504281
#36. The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

Jerry Seinfeld

Irs's Quotes #526597
#37. 1913 wasn't a very good year. 1913 gave us the income tax, the 16th amendment and the IRS.

Ron Paul

Irs's Quotes #534445
#38. Another agency - the IRS - did not do as well under Republicans who control Congress. The IRS is largely flatlined in their spending, but they did get about 300 million more funding. But I can only be used to help people pay their taxes and answer questions. It can't be used for any other purpose.

Susan Davis

Irs's Quotes #541074
#39. What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man.

Tracy Morgan

Irs's Quotes #542892
#40. I played so bad, I got a get-well card from the IRS.

Johnny Miller

Irs's Quotes #554955
#41. The only people helped by the death tax are lawyers, accountants, and IRS agents.

Bob Schaffer

Irs's Quotes #563903
#42. The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hotlines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly.

Dave Barry

Irs's Quotes #566344
#43. What do I need it for, millions of dollars? It just sounds like problems with the IRS to me.

Burt Shavitz

Irs's Quotes #571005
#44. For restaurants that have a minimum gratuity charge on large groups, the IRS will now count those tips as regular wages rather than traditional tips that we are all familiar with when we dine out. Ask any server, and they will tell you that this will directly affect their day-to-day lifestyle.

Kevin McCarthy

Irs's Quotes #571216
#45. When you look at the government, when the government collects a buck, it's not free. They have to spend resources, the IRS, audits, all this sort of crap, to collect the dollar. I'm not assuming any Laffer curve effect here at all. There are just transactions costs of collecting that money.

Arthur Laffer

Irs's Quotes #593389
#46. Please understand what the IRS scandal is about: Using the government to shut down opponents

Dennis Prager

Irs's Quotes #605743
#47. Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag

Jay Leno

Irs's Quotes #623627
#48. Uh-huh. You know with that sinister tone you should look into working for the IRS. I'm sure they're desperate for people who can cow others with a single growl. (Susan)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Irs's Quotes #653032
#49. The IRS sent back my tax return saying I owed $800. I said If you'll notice, I sent a paper clip with my return. Given what you've been paying for things lately, that should more than make up the difference.

Emo Philips

Irs's Quotes #657439
#50. She liked to steal - so what. She could kill without blinking - again, so what. It wasn't like she worked for the IRS or anything - Bianka

Gena Showalter

Irs's Quotes #666878
#51. Finally, the House is working to require a comprehensive federal review of IRS regulations with a follow-up report to Congress on possible actions to reduce the tax paperwork burden imposed on small businesses.

Michael K. Simpson

Irs's Quotes #675769
#52. Families will now have to prove to the IRS that they have Washington-approved and government-mandated insurance.

John Barrasso

Irs's Quotes #686555
#53. The fact that our government is using instruments of government like the IRS to punish its opponents, this is not the kind of thing that is a Democrat or a Republican issue. This is an American issue ... A lot of people do not feel free to express themselves.

Ben Carson

Irs's Quotes #712925
#54. The IRS takes your money. Congress uses our money to arm our enemies. The IRS takes more of your money. Congress uses that money to fight the enemies Congress just armed.

Justin Amash

Irs's Quotes #727139
#55. In many cases, Obama's exercise of authoritarian power is criminal. His executive branch is responsible for violations of the Arms Export Control Act in shipping weapons to Syria, the Espionage Act in Libya, and IRS law with regard to the targeting of conservative groups.

Ben Shapiro

Irs's Quotes #734520
#56. There are more words in the IRS code than there are in the Bible. And not a one of them is as good.

Ted Cruz

Irs's Quotes #748573
#57. The IRS has become morally corrupted by the enormous power which we in Congress have unwisely entrusted to it. Too often it acts like a Gestapo preying upon defenseless citizens.

Edward V. Long

Irs's Quotes #762564
#58. There is a way for the IRS to be able to have a double check to make sure individuals don't file on your Social Security number early and try to get a tax return and make it chaotic for you to file your own taxes. That's not been done.

James Lankford

Irs's Quotes #787742
#59. Mandatory sentencing guidelines have become as complicated and detailed as the IRS code!

Harold H. Greene

Irs's Quotes #790793
#60. I think the terror most people are concerned with is the IRS.

Malcolm Forbes

Irs's Quotes #802700
#61. The IRS says it wants to make sure companies can give their employees a choice between a new cash balance plan and the traditional defined benefit plan. The real question here is whether companies should be required to give their workers that choice.

Bernie Sanders

Irs's Quotes #808057
#62. Top IRS officials specifically targeted tea party groups and misled the public about its secret political targeting program led by ex-official Lois Lerner, according to a bombshell new congressional report.

Patrick Howley

Irs's Quotes #810850
#63. I've enjoyed much success. The IRS is always at my door, constantly.

KRS-One

Irs's Quotes #811276
#64. The government doesn't want us to have weapons and yet, they have weapons. I think the biggest weapon they have is the IRS [Internal Revenue Service]. They can use taxes as a weapon, and the IRS code that you can't even figure it out.

Glenn Beck

Irs's Quotes #816453
#65. I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.

Robert T. Bakker

Irs's Quotes #817542
#66. Isn't it nice of the IRS to tell the media where to ambush me before they tell me that the U.S. Attorney is suing me?

Cindy Sheehan

Irs's Quotes #835938
#67. We have FCC, abandoned alimony payments, assault and battery, Homeland Security escalation, and that's before we invite the IRS to take a walk on your wild side.

Ken Goldstein

Irs's Quotes #841277
#68. You from the IRS? The man's voice was deep and wet, like mud slipping down a drain.

Carl Hiaasen

Irs's Quotes #855119
#69. When you come into the world you have nothing ... when you leave you have nothing ... and in between there's the IRS.

Bob Thaves

Irs's Quotes #863589
#70. With vivid memories of the last IRS form I had signed, I agreed sympathetically that a two percent tax rate was a positive outrage, wondering to myself just what had become of the fiery spirit of American taxpayers over the intervening two hundred years.

Diana Gabaldon

Irs's Quotes #885029
#71. I don't want the IRS banging down my door.

Jessica Cutler

Irs's Quotes #891336
#72. Obamacare has made the government part of our health care decisions. The IRS controls all of our financial information. The NSA apparently sees everything else.

Ben Shapiro

Irs's Quotes #913970
#73. Some of you in this room support higher taxes. I welcome your enthusiasm and am glad to report that the IRS takes both money orders and checks.

George W. Bush

Irs's Quotes #935803
#74. Nothing guarantees more applause and more support than the call to abolish the IRS.

Frank Luntz

Irs's Quotes #956802
#75. While you're alive, the IRS will attempt to take what you've made. When you're not, the IRS will attempt to take what it missed.

Charles J. Givens

Irs's Quotes #967002
#76. And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a 'pain in the neck,' the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life

Dave Barry

Irs's Quotes #997101
#77. I have no evidence of any relationship between IRS and NSA.

Barton Gellman

Irs's Quotes #1048248
#78. I bought all my friends guitars and I had a good time with my money. But then one day the IRS came knocking.

Janis Ian

Irs's Quotes #1054191
#79. Those who advocate either slavery or income taxation should be ashamed of themselves. Genuine freedom entails the abolition, not the reform, of income taxation and the IRS, just as genuine freedom entailed the abolition, not the reform, of slavery.

Jacob G. Hornberger

Irs's Quotes #1060291
#80. Let's abolish the IRS, let's eliminate income tax, let's eliminate corporate tax, let's balance the federal budget, and if we need a tax, it can be one federal consumption tax.

Gary Johnson

Irs's Quotes #1073478
#81. The more expansive government is, the more perils people face in daily lives, be it from IRS agents or from child support services, or from other agencies that often have little or no legal restraints on their power.

James Bovard

Irs's Quotes #1094657
#82. The IRS'll never sweat me or even put up a fight ...
Cause I'm sure I've paid more in taxes than you've made in yo' life!

Ludacris

Irs's Quotes #1098652
#83. Reports also suggest that Ernst and Young and other large tax preparation firms are sending tax returns overseas for processing. But the IRS has no control over tax information once it's been sent to India or another country.

Melissa Bean

Irs's Quotes #1104808
#84. I have not done anything wrong. I have not broken any laws. I have not violated any IRS rules or regulations and I have not provided false information to this or any other committee.

Lois Lerner

Irs's Quotes #1107125
#85. 'Tax Collector' was optioned for a series with F/X, but it never happened. I guess they ran into a problem trying to figure out why someone would tune in to watch a show about a guy who works for the IRS.

Rick Yancey

Irs's Quotes #1113756
#86. Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.

Jay Leno

Irs's Quotes #1117179
#87. No matter what federal program one selects - Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, the drug war, the income tax and the IRS, education, foreign interventions and wars - they are all a giant mess.

Jacob G. Hornberger

Irs's Quotes #1141742
#88. Do you know who will be in charge of health care? The IRS. You thought getting audited was bad? Wait until your next prostate exam.

Jay Leno

Irs's Quotes #1166688
#89. Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten

George Bramwell, 1st Baron Bramwell

Irs's Quotes #1176939
#90. Never call your office while you're on vacation. That's always been one of my hard and fast rules.

William Manchee

Irs's Quotes #1193837
#91. You'll note that politicians no longer spend money, they invest it. Don't worry about paying more to the [IRS]. You aren't being taxed; you're taking a plunge on a fly-by-night stock issue.

P. J. O'Rourke

Irs's Quotes #1200240
#92. Getting a tax refund is nice, but having more money year-round is better. If you get a chunk of change from the IRS, you're giving the government an interest-free loan - not something they, or any bank, would ever give you. Instead, change your withholding so you get a little extra in each paycheck.

Jean Chatzky

Irs's Quotes #1211742
#93. Previous presidents, including great ones like Roosevelt, have used the IRS against their enemies. But I don't think Barack Obama ever wanted to be on the same page as Richard Nixon.

Joe Klein

Irs's Quotes #1218380
#94. His clients ranged from the IRS to the mob.On one occasion the oil industry hired him to kill the inventor of a car which was fueled by depression. The moguls didn't know how to profit from such a cheap and abundant resource.

Steve Aylett

Irs's Quotes #1218675
#95. The high-handed bureaucratic excesses of the IRS are a national disgrace ... riding roughshod over the taxpayers and making a joke out of our rule of laws.

Paul Laxalt

Irs's Quotes #1220016
#96. It is my belief that one's salary is between an individual and the IRS.

Jessica Savitch

Irs's Quotes #1355208
#97. Warren Buffett's company reportedly owes the IRS a billion dollars in back taxes. When he said he wasn't paying enough taxes, he wasn't kidding.

Jay Leno

Irs's Quotes #1364789
#98. Jay Carney, whose unenviable job is not to explain but to explain away what his employers say, calls the IRS's behavior "inappropriate. " No, using the salad fork for the entree is inappropriate. Using the Internal Revenue Service for political purposes is a criminal offense.

George Will

Irs's Quotes #1370312
#99. I'm not the only taxpayer who has no idea what he's sending to the IRS. This year, only 28 percent of all Americans will prepare their own tax returns, according to a voice in my head that invents accurate-sounding statistics.

Dave Barry

Irs's Quotes #1596111
#100. Well, what did we buy? Instead of a leaner, smarter government, we bought a bureaucracy that now tells us which light bulbs to buy, and which will put 16,500 IRS agents in charge of policing President Obama's health care bill.

Michele Bachmann

Irs's Quotes #1842323

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