Humor One Liner Quotes

#1. The poor soul would have been 100 - if he'd lived another twelve years. Apparently he asked to be scattered over the place where he spent his happiest moments - but Bridget wasn't keen no having ash all over her duvet.

Bridget Golightly

#2. Bridget was so excited to see the giant Colin Firth statue, she almost had a stroke. But she couldn't quite reach.

Bridget Golightly

#3. I wrote a book on cats. In retrospect, I should have used paper, cause chapter six got hit by a car.

Wynne McLaughlin

#4. Bridget reckons John Lennon wrote a song about her. I'm guessing it was 'Give Peace a Chance'.

Bridget Golightly

#5. I don't think every joke has to be so dadgum cerebral. I mix it up really good, because that's the kind of humor I like. I like the goofy one-liner type stuff.

Larry The Cable Guy

#6. Bridget -
I like my tea like I like my men. Strong, sweet and dark.

Joan -
I like my tea like I like my men too. Still warm.

Bridget Golightly

#7. If anaphylactic shock is wrong, I don't wanna bee bite.

Wynne McLaughlin

#8. What positions are kings supposed to put themselves in?"
"Padded rooms without windows or pointy objects, if my staff had its druthers."
"No pointy objects at all?" Kaika quirked an eyebrow. "Doesn't sound like much fun.

Lindsay Buroker

#9. The koloss he'd attacked did not rise. Its companions stood, looking unconcerned, though their eyes were focused on him. They seemed to want something.
"He ate my horse," Elend said, saying the first thing that came to his clouded mind.
The group of koloss nodded.

Brandon Sanderson

#10. Good things come in small packages.
Shopping isn't a good thing, so be ready to carry big packages!

Shubham Choudhary