Top 100 Hartman's Quotes
#1. When you saw Jon Lovitz or Dana Carvey or Phil Hartman doing something, they were acting. It was real acting. Like, they were acting like that person. They weren't like - it wasn't even like they were really trying to go for a laugh, especially in Phil Hartman's case.
Bill Hader
#2. There are people in this world who commit horrifying and unnatural acts beyond anything your naive imagination could conceive. He is your worst nightmare. Heed my warning and stay away from him. I
Rachel Hartman
#3. Metaphor is awkward, but emotion, by its nature, leaves you no more scalable approach.
Rachel Hartman
#4. I barely noticed loneliness anymore; it was my normal condition, by necessity if not by nature.
Rachel Hartman
#5. Self-esteem is different than conceit. Conceit is the weirdest disease in the world. It makes everyone sick except the one who has it.
Hartman Rector Jr.
#6. I suggest you marry Jorgen Hartman. In fact, I strongly suggest it." Odette looked at Jorgen. He looked back at her. By his wide eyes and open mouth, he had not expected the margrave to say that any more than she had. She
Melanie Dickerson
#7. There are two sacred causes in this world," he said, holding up his pinkie and ring ringer. "Chance and necessity. By chance I was there to help when you had need.
Rachel Hartman
#8. More insomniacs!' cried the doctor. 'Come in, come in.
Rachel Hartman
#10. Keeping my smile raised like a shield between us, I curtsied and quit the room.
Rachel Hartman
#11. Deficits. Most people of knowledge say it's the biggest single problem facing the economic free world.
David Hartman
#12. Bend like a willow. You made it sound so simple."
"It was simple."
"Indeed. I bent and changed everything. This is going to have consequences.
Rachel Hartman
#14. I spent that many years thinking I was alone. Then you prance into my life, nearly giving me a paroxysm, and now you deign to tell me there are more.
Rachel Hartman
#15. However strenuously the world pulls us apart, however long the absence, we are not changed for being dashed upon the rocks. I knew you then, I know you now, I shall know you again when you come home.
Rachel Hartman
#16. I was drawn to his aloofness, the way cats gravitate toward people who'd rather avoid them.
Rachel Hartman
#17. Have you read Belondweg?"
"I coudn't call myself much of a scholar if I hadn't," he said.
He was adorable and he made me smile, but I couldn't let him see.
Rachel Hartman
#18. He chuckled into my hair, enjoying this. I loved him terribly just then, how he puzzled through obscure scholarship and reveled in ideas, never mind that he'd called my mind hell.
Rachel Hartman
#19. My companions ate the bear. I found I had no appetite.
Rachel Hartman
#20. Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick.
Joe Rogan
#21. The Lord requires sacrifice, meaning something above and beyond the minimum. The Master spoke of the "second mile" and told us to go there. Why? Because he wants to bless us, and he put all the blessings in the second mile.
Hartman Rector Jr.
#22. Your very presence makes other people feel awkward. You stand out when in fact you'd rather not.
Rachel Hartman
#24. I think I've heard that ballad," I said. "It's beautiful but it ends sadly.
Rachel Hartman
#25. How did you merit so much devotion so quickly?' I asked, making no attempt to keep the sarcasm from my voice.
'I show them Heaven', said she, without a trace of irony. 'People are so desperate for light'.
Rachel Hartman
#26. In this they have the support of Blake, a man so sensitive to any trace of "Natural Religion" that he is said to have blamed some verses of Wordsworth's for a bowel complaint which almost killed him.
Geoffrey H. Hartman
#27. The optimist, as you probably know, is a person who, when he wears out his shoes, just figures he's back on his feet.
Hartman Rector Jr.
#28. He looked up at the reddening sky and said with a self-deprecating laugh, "You put me to shame, Seraphina. Your bravery always has."
"It's not bravery; it's bullheaded bumbling."
He shook his head, staring off into the middle distance. "I know courage when I see it, and when I lack it.
Rachel Hartman
#29. I think there's a notion in our society, and it may be valid, that people aren't as funny when they get older. It's a stigma still attached to the rebelliousness of youth.
Phil Hartman
#30. You twist logic to your own purposes." "It's a lawyer's duty," sniffed Phloxia,
Rachel Hartman
#31. It was easy to mistrust the government, who some saw as the cause of the wars and other ills. But it was the Financials who had the real power, whose promises of economic growth and the regaining of their nation's former strength got them into elected positions, where they turned the economic tides.
C.A. Hartman
#32. You, of all people, understand the burden of having to prove that you are good enough to exist, that you are worth all the grief your mother caused everyone. Bastard equals monster in our hearts' respective lexicons; that's why you always had such insight into it.
Rachel Hartman
#33. It's been five years worth of planning and negotiating to bring this to a reality.
Phil Hartman
#34. I think if you could go back in time in one dimension, you could go back in another. That would make more sense. Well, said Nickelo, I guess it's unfortunate the Creator didn't discuss things with you first before he set the laws of the universe. That's a pity. Not funny, Richard said.
Rodney W. Hartman
#35. Marines die, that's what we're here for. But the Marine Corps lives forever. And that means YOU live forever.
Phil Hartman
#36. Pvt. Joker is silly and he's ignorant but he's got guts and guts is what counts!"
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman USMC
Matthew Modine
#37. Was good to see a dragon's teeth. A dragon with his mouth closed was far more likely to be working up a flame. That seemed completely obvious.
Rachel Hartman
#38. The thing about reason is that there's a geometry to it. It travels in a straight line, so that slightly different beginnings can lead you to wildly divergent endpoints.
Rachel Hartman
#39. He's got the place to himself. Once the other invalids learned there was a dragon coming, they miraculously got well! The lame could walk and the blind decided they didn't really need to see. He's a panacea.
Rachel Hartman
#40. I personally believe that the writing of personal and family histories will do more to turn the hearts of the children to the fathers and the fathers to children than almost anything we can do
Hartman Rector Jr.
#41. Bonnie Jean said, "You don't understand. Daddy's taking us away. To Nebraska." Bess Hartman looked at the mother,
Truman Capote
#42. 'Blasto' is a new game for Sony Playstation. It's an awesome three-dimensional game, and I play the character Blasto who's sort of a Flash Gordon barrel-chested superhero who goes to Uranus and shoots these little green alien Fascist guys. He rescues babes; he goes on wild rides.
Phil Hartman
#43. It's fun coming in as the second or third lead. If the movie or TV show bombs, you aren't to blame.
Phil Hartman
#44. Sometimes the truth has difficulty breaching the city walls of our beliefs. A lie, dressed in the correct livery, passes through more easily.
Rachel Hartman
#45. I'm a comedic actor, not to mix words, but it's something I think about. A comedic actor. I like to think that Christopher Guest, Phil Hartman, Peter Sellers and Alec Guinness are comedic actors. And Dan Aykroyd, too. Those are my heroes.
Mike Myers
#46. I understood something about myself as well, even if I didn't have the will to examine it just then.
Rachel Hartman
#47. The one thing I could do was voices and impersonations and weird characters, and there was really no call for that, except on Saturday Night Live.
Phil Hartman
#48. Generally speaking, "an eye single to the glory of God" means sacrifice. It means that instead of endlessly doing what we want to do, we have to do what the Lord wants us to do, but we have to do it in his way when he wants us to do it.
Hartman Rector Jr.
#50. Enough mind chatter. I imagined every thought encapsulated in a bubble; I exhaled them into the world. Gradually the noise ceased, and my mind was dark and still.
Rachel Hartman
#51. Truth is going with the flow of destiny, lies are an attempt to cover it up and fight against it.
Rebecca Hartman
#52. Simply put, he would have to keep her from finding out for he much preferred a willing Lady Gillian to a livid one.
Ginny Hartman
#53. You bluffed him? A Porphyrian double ton of fire and brimstone, fangs like swords, claws like ... like swords! And you just ... bluffed him?
Rachel Hartman
#54. He smiled sadly, then placed his hand around mine so we were holding the book together. "I believe that - with everything I have," he said, holding my gaze. He kissed the edge of the book because he could not kiss me.
Rachel Hartman
#55. But do not make the mistake, Seraphina, of supposing that suffering ennobles anyone.
Rachel Hartman
#56. And I realized a wondrous truth: that knowledge could be our treasure, that there were things humankind knew that we did not, that our conquest need not comprise taking and killing, but could consist of our mutual conquest of ignorance and distrust.
Rachel Hartman
#57. If I could keep a single moment for all time, that would be the one. I became the very air; I was full of stars.
Rachel Hartman
#58. I will see you both in Goredd, then, when I clasp your hands across the smoking ashes of my enemies."
"Isn't that what you were trying to avoid by sneaking up the Omiga?" Kiggs said.
The Comonot considered. "Yes, but I like the sound of those words. Interesting.
Rachel Hartman
#59. This is my mind's garden, I tend it; I order it. I have nothing to fear.
Rachel Hartman
#60. I could do John Wayne, Jack Benny, Jack Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson and entertain my friends. But I never seriously considered it as a career choice.
Phil Hartman
#62. Nothing was just one thing; there were worlds within worlds. Those of us who trod the line between were blessed and burdened with both.
Rachel Hartman
#63. He steadied himself with one great hand against the city wall. He had told me he'd never stop growing. He'd meant it literally. What had I been addressing all these years? His finger?
Rachel Hartman
#64. Kids are capable of handling a lot more than you think if you are willing to commit some time.
David Hartman
#65. I'm awestruck that you had warm cabbages sitting around.
Rachel Hartman
#66. My own survival required me to counterbalance interesting with invisible.
Rachel Hartman
#67. For future reference: do not underestimate the seductive power of math.
Rachel Hartman
#68. We shall have long meetings where Kiggs agonizes and Glisselda teases him. That's the pattern so far.
Rachel Hartman
#69. Why live in fear that he might find me disgusting someday, when I could make it happen right now?
Rachel Hartman
#70. You're not a villain, I said. Or else we were two villains in a pod.
Rachel Hartman
#71. We must show them we're superior and put them in their place. Dominate or be dominated.
Rachel Hartman
#72. On a good day, he was friend enough. On a bad day, running into his inadequacy was like tripping up the stairs. It hurt, but it felt like my own fault.
Rachel Hartman
#73. Their gowns and masks look lovely." "Not as lovely as yours," Jorgen said without hesitating. Her heart seemed to fly out of her chest and soar around the arched ceiling of the ballroom of Thornbeck Castle. Jorgen Hartman, rescuer of damsels in peril, might . . . perhaps . . . love her. But
Melanie Dickerson
#74. I could never learn what I'm learning at college. They don't teach it there, because it can't be learned in that way.
Phil Hartman
#75. He was impugning my virtue. I ought to have been offended, but for some reason the idea tickled me. That could be my next career: instrument of torture! Seducing prisoners, and then revealing my dragon scales! They would confess out of sheer horror.
Rachel Hartman
#76. Once I had feared that telling the truth would be like falling, that love would be like hitting the ground, but here I was, my feet firmly planted, standing on my own.
Rachel Hartman
#77. I've succeeded beyond my wildest dreams - financially and the amount of fun I have in my life.
Phil Hartman
#78. I cannot perch among those who think that I am broken.
Rachel Hartman
#80. I had felt the shot coming; I hadn't realized the bow was loaded with this very quarrel, perfectly calibrated to hit him hardest. What part of me had been studying him, stockpiling knowledge as ammunition?
Rachel Hartman
#81. Surely, in the work of the Lord, it is what we do after we think we have done enough that really counts with him, for that's when the blessings flow.
Hartman Rector Jr.
#82. It is permissible to be the god of your own metaphors.
Rachel Hartman
#83. Some sober part of my brain seemed to observe everything I did, clucking disdainfully, informing me that ought to be embarrassed, yet making no move
Rachel Hartman
#84. Perma-grin.
Oblivion.
Love isn't blind. It's blinding
Ralph Hartman
#85. He didn't wear his heart on his sleeve, exactly, but he did keep it in a place where I could see it.
Rachel Hartman
#86. Playing flute was the one thing I knew could make people see a human, not a monster.
Rachel Hartman
#87. Are we irretrievably broken?
Never beyond repair, good heart.
Rachel Hartman
#88. A short poem from my book:
Perspective
Of course
there is a hell
she said
and it has
an observation deck;
so I may
stand and wave
to all those kind
souls below
who warned me
I would go there.
Michelle Hartman
#89. Oh, you humans may prefer empathy and mercy, but that's like intuiting the answer to an equation: you still have to go back and work the problem to be certain you were right. We can come to genuinely moral conclusions by our own paths.
Rachel Hartman
#90. Sir James waved a gnarled hand. They're nothing but feral file clerks, dragons. They used to alphabetize the coins in their hoards.
Rachel Hartman
#91. Was it probably true that reasoning beings were equal? It seemed more like a belief than a fact, even if I agreed with it. If you followed logic all the way back to its origin, did you inevitably end up at point of illogic, an article of faith?
Rachel Hartman
#92. I was half lawyer; I always noticed the loopholes.
Rachel Hartman
#93. A single action could derive from many motivations. I should never assume.
Rachel Hartman
#94. I heard you, sought you, and have found you. I have reached for you, across space and sense and the laws of nature. I do not know how.
Rachel Hartman
#95. The world is seldom so simple that it hinges on us alone.
Rachel Hartman
#96. I found the writing arena to be much less competitive.
Phil Hartman
#97. Sprinted past him up the stairs, toward the royal family's wing of the palace.
Rachel Hartman
#98. The beauty of the place moved me; I loved how the clean air felt in my lungs, how far I was from everything I had ever known. People I'd hurt, people I'd failed, people who thought me a monster. Here there was no monster greater than the ragged mountains.
Rachel Hartman
#99. There was a great brightness and, um ... Imagine what it would look like if you could see music, or thought.
Rachel Hartman
#100. Claude rubs the back of his neck and wrinkles his nose, about to tell me he was never sad. I believe this is called bravado and is not limited to lawyers, or even men, although that combination makes it almost unavoidable.
Rachel Hartman
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