Top 100 H.a.l. Quotes

#1. You're a bit of an odd duck aren't you Freda,' she says, her glasses hanging too low on her nose. 'Quack,' I reply.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #5245
#2. Hope: A pathological belief in the occurrence of the impossible.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #10010
#3. The net effect of Clarence Darrow's great speech yesterday seemed to be precisely the same as if he had bawled it up a rainspout in the interior of Afghanistan.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #14669
#4. A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #20016
#5. G Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! h According to his great mercy, i he has caused us to be born again to a living hope j through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4. to k an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and l unfading, m kept in heaven for you,

Anonymous

H.a.l. Quotes #25759
#6. A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #26407
#7. A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illusion.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #29188
#8. Democracy is grounded upon so childish a complex of fallacies that they must be protected by a rigid system of taboos, else even halfwits would argue it to pieces. Its first concern must be to penalize the free play of ideas.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #31092
#9. H = L + F + G
Dedicated to those of us in need of a mathematical equation to explain the key to happiness in life.
Simply put, it means Happiness = Look for Good
Ie. Look for the good in life ... the silver lining in each of our experiences.

Lee Bice-Matheson

H.a.l. Quotes #33606
#10. A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #34511
#11. Confidence: The feeling that makes one believe a man, even when one knows that one would lie in his place

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #39449
#12. The military caste did not originate as a party of patriots, but as a party of bandits

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #43188
#13. A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #44227
#14. The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #44498
#15. Purity of race does not exist. Europe is a continent of energetic mongrels.

H.A.L. Fisher

H.a.l. Quotes #46553
#16. Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #48715
#17. I liked to think I was a smart woman. My vagina, on the other hand, was the equivalent of a dumb blonde. And that blonde wanted what she wanted.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #49994
#18. When I reach the shades at last it will no doubt astonish Satan to discover, on thumbing my dossier, that I was a member of the Y.M.C.A.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #50663
#19. No person is ever truly their online or media persona. For better or for worse, the human condition, desires, and faults are so much more robust than pixels on a screen or words beneath a caption.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #52233
#20. A society made up of individuals who were all capable of original thought would probably be unendurable.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #58809
#21. Christ, I need you," he swears. "If you don't stop me now, I'm going to fuck you, darlin'."
He licks a line from my neck to my earlobe, taking it into his mouth and sucking, his tongue flickering.
"Jay," I moan his name, and an appreciative groan rumbles up out of his chest. "Yes. Please.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #61723
#22. The essence of science is that it is always willing to abandon a given idea for a better one; the essence of theology is that it holds its truths to be eternal and immutable.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #62097
#23. Sunday school: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #65247
#24. So, you see, in essence, cruelty is a cycle. A person inflicts it and it spreads. It simply breeds more and more of itself in a loop.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #67512
#25. Religion is a conceited effort to deny the most obvious realities.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #75218
#26. Motherhood by definition means a journey into the depths of one's possibility.

H. L. Balcomb

H.a.l. Quotes #75582
#27. The artist is not a reporter, but a Great Teacher. It is not his business to depict the world as it is, but as it ought to be.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #82282
#28. The function of a newspaper in a democracy is to stand as a sort of chronic opposition to the reigning quacks. The minute it begins to out-whoop them it forfeits its character and becomes ridiculous.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #87887
#29. I thought, 'Oh, this is great,' because maybe someone who does look like me will watch 'Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.' and realize that they can be an actor if they want to be, or they can be a superhero. They can have a hero that looks like them as well.

J. August Richards

H.a.l. Quotes #92033
#30. The worst thing that happened to air travel in the past ten years was the bankruptcy of Xhibit Corp., the parent company of SkyMall. I recalled with clarity the first time I boarded a flight and it was missing from all usual nooks and crannies. It had been a dark day.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #94942
#31. There are some people who read too much: the bibliobibuli. I know some who are constantly drunk on books, as other men are drunk on whiskey or religion. They wander through this most diverting and stimulating of worlds in a haze, seeing nothing and hearing nothing.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #95908
#32. No form of liberty is worth a darn [sic] which doesn't give us the right to do wrong now and then.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #99806
#33. The essential dilemma of education is to be found in the fact that the sort of man (or woman) who knows a given subject sufficiently well to teach it is usually unwilling to do so.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #101728
#34. The dying man doesn't struggle much and he isn't much afraid. As his alkalies give out he succumbs to a blest stupidity. His mindfogs. His will power vanishes. He submits decently. He scarcely gives a damn.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #110278
#35. But God, the girl is just so cool, and she makes me laugh so much. I'm starting to think that we don't fall for looks or gender in the end. We fall for the person as a whole. We fall for their souls.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #121531
#36. Sometimes I think my own brain might be a bitch whose sole purpose is to make me feel shitty. To quote Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle, "Why won't my brain let me be happy?

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #121913
#37. Morality and honor are not to be confused. The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #135088
#38. Why talk to a person if you had nothing in common with them? What would that accomplish, other than a painfully stunted conversation?

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #138626
#39. What I admire most in any man is a serene spirit, a steady freedom from moral indignation, and all-embracing tolerance
in brief,what is commonly called sportsmanship.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #138631
#40. The unknown is sexier that the revealed. All magic tricks are a disappointment once you learn how they're done.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #139356
#41. In Mencken's view, "religion belongs to a very early stage of human development, and ... its rapid decay in the world since the Reformation is evidence of genuine progress" ("The Ascent of Man").

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #139365
#42. The thing constantly overlooked by those hopefuls who talk about abolishing war is that it is by no means an evidence of decay but rather a proof of health and vigor.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #140220
#43. The art of writing, like the art of love, runs all the way from a kind of routine hard to distinguish from piling bricks to a kind of frenzy closely related to delirium tremens.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #140756
#44. After all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more is said than done.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #141181
#45. Note to self: Never try to out-trick a trickster.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #145321
#46. Anything that you have imposed on yourself to be unhappy, to be bound, is a concept. It is an imaginary concept, so give it away.

H.W.L. Poonja

H.a.l. Quotes #149466
#47. Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #150141
#48. The formula of the argument is simple and familiar: to dispose of a problem all that is necessary is to deny that it exists.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #153252
#49. A Puritan is someone who is desperately afraid that, somewhere, someone might be having a good time.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #159281
#50. The problem with a lot of feminist works is that they tend to take the "feminine" out of "feminism.

H.L. Grey

H.a.l. Quotes #161670
#51. If that's true why did it jump into the swamp?" Alex asks. "No normal horse would do that. Jump into a lake for a swim maybe, but not a swamp, unless it was a suicidal horse.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #164340
#52. You're kind and patient and honorable, and yes, maybe those aren't flashy, magical, extraordinary traits. Maybe being all those things does make you a bit ordinary, but the ordinary things are the important things.

H.L. Burke

H.a.l. Quotes #164816
#53. The difference between the smartest dog and the stupidest man - say a Tennessee Holy Roller - is really very small.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #164848
#54. I might not have a boyfriend, but I have cupcakes, an those tasty bastards haven't let me down yet.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #169299
#55. I didn't go to high school, and I didn't go to grade school either. Education, I think, is for refinement and is probably a liability.

H. L. Hunt

H.a.l. Quotes #174004
#56. His Nana's prayers were moving toward his mother like little butterflies of thoughts wrapped in the most beautiful colors. Each prayer looked like a mini-rainbow.

H. L. Balcomb

H.a.l. Quotes #174316
#57. The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation of being well-to-do.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #177110
#58. In the duel of sex, woman fights from a dreadnought and man from an open raft.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #177750
#59. It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #180392
#60. They have taken the care and upbringing of children out of the hands of parents, where it belongs, and thrown it upon a gang of irresponsible and unintelligent quacks.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #184563
#61. This combat between proletariat and plutocracy is, after all, itself a civil war. Two inferiorities struggle for the privilege of polluting the world.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #185568
#62. A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #188788
#63. Women have a hard enough time in this world: telling them the truth would be too cruel.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #190358
#64. New York is the place where all the aspirations of the western world meet to form one vast master aspiration, as powerful as the suction of a steam dredge. It is the icing on the pie called Christian civilization.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #191080
#65. The chief business of the nation, as a nation, is the setting up of heroes, mainly bogus.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #193379
#66. The more noisy Negro leaders, by depicting all whites as natural and implacable enemies to their race, have done it a great disservice. Large numbers of whites who were formerly very
friendly to it, and willing to go to great lengths to help it, are now resentful and suspicious.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #194279
#67. I'd practically groped her under the guise of helping her get out a stain, but still, she looked like she found me about as appealing as second-hand underpants.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #202862
#68. I stared at him, feeling a little lost in Ronan Fitzpatrick and his epically warm smiles and hot kisses and scorching looks. I

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #205366
#69. We all paint on a face to show the world," Nicholas replies philosophically. "For some of us, that's quite literal.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #205388
#70. Kipling, the grandson of a Methodist preacher, reveals the tin-pot evangelist with increasing clarity as youth and its ribaldries pass away and he falls back upon his fundamentals.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #211042
#71. A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #219223
#72. There was a day on the set of Iron Man where I said, "I remember some of this stuff. I definitely had some Iron Man books. But, S.H.I.E.L.D. is a little bit of a weak spot for me."

Clark Gregg

H.a.l. Quotes #224270
#73. No reporter of my generation, whatever his genius, ever really rated spats and a walking stick until he had covered both a lynching and a revolution.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #226232
#74. A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #226588
#75. The opera ... is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #233426
#76. Carbs and sugar were the food equivalent of getting a hug from a life-sized fluffy teddy bear.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #236998
#77. No article of faith is proof against the disintegrating effects of increasing information; one might almost describe the acquirement of knowledge as a process of disillusion.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #239753
#78. We must be willing to pay a price for freedom.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #251704
#79. A gentlemen is one who never strikes a woman without provocation.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #254280
#80. What chiefly distinguishes the daily press is its incurable fear of ideas, its constant effort to evade the discussion of fundamentals by translating all issues into a few elemental fears, its incessant reduction of all reflection to mere emotion.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #262708
#81. Well, yeah, staying together for love is better than staying together because of a piece of paper. The paper is the prison. Making the choice to stay with someone without the prison feels more like true love to me.

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #271407
#82. There is always a sheet of paper. There is always a pen. There is always a way out.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #275467
#83. Writing books is certainly a most unpleasant occupation. It is lonesome, unsanitary, and maddening. Many authors go crazy.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #301193
#84. A fool who, after plain warning, persists in dosing himself with dangerous drugs should be free to do so, for his death is a benefit to the race in general.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #301463
#85. Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man. There has never been a really good one, and even those that are most tolerable are arbitrary, cruel, grasping and unintelligent.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #304898
#86. One cannot enter a State legislature or a prison for felons without becoming, in some measure, a dubious character.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #305278
#87. THE COLONIES OF AMERICA C L O U D . M E D I T E C H . D E S C O N . E V E R G R E E N A FREE STATE IS A CORPORATE STATE Abruptly

Marie Lu

H.a.l. Quotes #313777
#88. The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed a standard citizenry, to put down dissent and originality.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #315180
#89. Never drink before sunset; Never drink more than 3 days in a row.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #315963
#90. When it's time to retire, maybe I could disappear too." "I always thought you'd end up taking a director's position at S.H.I.E.L.D." "Some day we all retire, Isaiah. The trick is to be sure you do it well before life is done with you.

Nathan Edmondson

H.a.l. Quotes #337652
#91. One of the most mawkish of human delusions is the notion that friendship should be eternal, or, at all events, life-long, and that any act which puts a term to it is somehow discreditable.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #340461
#92. A skeptic as to all ideas, including especially my own, I have never suffered a pang when the ideas of some other imbecile prevailed.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #340841
#93. I let out a loud bark of a laugh and teased, "Well, you're no Gandy." Jack shot me a confused glance. "And thank fuck for that. Who wants to look like a little old bald man with John Lennon glasses?

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #342123
#94. In Baltimore, soft crabs are always fried (or broiled) in the altogether, with maybe a small jock-strap of bacon added.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #352605
#95. I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #353606
#96. A man who is an agnostic by inheritance, so that he doesn't remember any time that he wasn't, has almost no hatred for the religious.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #354934
#97. Do you sleep in a coffin?" Okay, I admit that one was a little out of line, not to mention corny.
"Of course not," he laughs loudly. "I sleep in a bed." A pause. "Would you like to see it?

L. H. Cosway

H.a.l. Quotes #356047
#98. Culture itself is neither education nor law-making: it is an atmosphere and a heritage.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #356294
#99. Suddenly, he felt a tremendous stirring of hope inside his heart; it filled his whole body with its warmth. I may not be that much of a broken man, he thought to himself.

H. L. Balcomb

H.a.l. Quotes #367072
#100. A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

H.L. Mencken

H.a.l. Quotes #376773

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