Gut Busting Funny Quotes

#1. Persecution, in short, is like the goldsmith's stamp on real silver and gold - it is one of the marks of a converted man.

J.C. Ryle

#2. Oh. Too bad. Well, all's quiet so far. There was a heckuva lot goin' on last night, though. Think it might be one o' them poultry heists."
"Poultry heist? Someone's stealing chickens?" I asked.
Maya nudged me. "He means poltergeists.

Juliet Blackwell

#3. Jack the Hellhound: "Make sure you get a booth in the back so they don't see you in assassin-gear and more importantly, to keep the handsome dog hidden."
Robert Knight: "Where's the handsome dog? All I see is an ugly mutt!"
Jack the Hellhound: "You're so funny I'm busting a gut.

Ben Garvey

#4. I always felt that the Cubans were being pushed into the Soviet Bloc by American policy.

Lee Harvey Oswald

#5. The paperweight was the room he was in, and the coral was Julia's life and his own, fixed in a sort of eternity at the heart of the crystal.

George Orwell

#6. We all have regrets. Anyone who says they have none is a liar, and anyone who thinks they'll live without acquiring some is a fool.

Karen Amanda Hooper

#7. All the movies that I have done I have not been in control of. Sometimes there is a contractual situation where you go to the studio, and they kind of tell you which ones they want you to do.

Steven Seagal

#8. A guardian ad litem ... GAL is appointed by a court to be a child's advocate during legal proceedings that involve a minor. You don't have to be a lawyer to be trained as a GAL, but you have to have a moral compass and a heart. Which, actually probably renders most lawyers unqualified for the job.

Jodi Picoult

#9. I was full of faults; he took them and me all home.

Charlotte Bronte

#10. God is the only
One that can truly change individuals.
I am convinced that He alone is capable of transforming
someone in such a way that they grow and thrive, even in
challenging times.

Ngina Otiende