Glasgow Humour Quotes

#1. There's so much light in Broughty Ferry. I think the humour in Glasgow is darker, because it's much more gloomy, there's a perpetual misery there.

Brian Cox

#2. What is a "canty day", Dennis?'
'I've never troubled to ask. Something like hogmanay, I expect.'
'What is that?'
'People being sick on the pavement in Glasgow.'
'Oh.

Evelyn Waugh

#3. A Gothic church is a petrified religion.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

#4. My mum always said you get more fun at a Glasgow stabbing than an Edinburgh wedding.

Caro Ramsay

#5. When you least expect it, you run in to an old friend from school, or the neighbour's cat, not Mary the Virgin Mother of God.

Margot McCuaig

#6. I try not to put my purse on the floor - demons will get into it.

Nina Arianda

#7. Tomorrow night President Obama will announce his new immigration plan. Obama's favorite part of his new immigration plan is that he gets to emigrate to another country. He's tired of all this.

Conan O'Brien

#8. Today I've made a major decision. I'm never going to die.

Gary Shteyngart

#9. There's a difference between fear and paralysis. And I've learned that I don't have to "grow up" to be open to opportunity, to be willing to step through doors without being pushed. I just have to be brave. I just have to be slightly braver than I am scared.

Victoria Schwab

#10. What I mean is, things like that happen. They may seem might cruel and unfair, but that's how life is a part of the time. But that isn't the only way life is. A part of the time, it's mighty good. And a man can't afford to waste all the good part, worrying about the bad parts. That makes it all bad

Fred Gipson

#11. That's the attraction of the conference circuit: it's a way of converting work into play, combining professionalism with tourism, and all at someone else's expense. Write a paper and see the world! I'm Jane Austen - fly me!

David Lodge

#12. Because the erotic frisson is such that the kiss that you only imagine giving,can be as powerful and as enchanting as hours of actual lovemaking. As Marcel Proust said, it's our imagination that is responsible for love, not the other person.

Esther Perel

#13. The difference in this town - here in Washington - on the war is not between Democrats and Republicans; it's between people who believe essentially we've already lost in Iraq and it's time to get out - and most of the rest of us who believe not only have we not lost, but we're winning.

Joe Lieberman

#14. You cannot be firmly certain about anything. You can only have enough courage and strength to do what you consider to be right. Maybe it turns out that was wrong, but still you would have done his, and it is most important.

Irving Stone

#15. I'm pretty forgiving, so sometimes I forget how evil people were to me. Then I think, 'Wait a minute. Don't let them get you.' Then I hit 'ignore' on FaceBook.

Alexis Knapp