Garrison Keillor Lake Wobegon Quotes

#1. If you can't trust your can open, then what?

Garrison Keillor

#2. Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

Garrison Keillor

#3. I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning and carry you through, to cook up a monologue about Lake Wobegon and get to the theater on time.

Garrison Keillor

#4. The world will be saved by the western woman" - The Dalai Lama

Dalai Lama XIV

#5. Before the world was made, when it was only darkness and mist and waters, God was well aware of Lake Wobegon, my family, our house, and He had me all sketched out down to what size my feet would be (big), which bike I would ride (Schwinn), and the five ears of corn I'd eat for supper that night.

Garrison Keillor

#6. Kids are coming out earlier and earlier - some, as young as twelve now - and schools need to take that into account.

Ian McKellen

#7. If you can't trust your can opener, then what? Is your wastebasket going to get you?

Garrison Keillor

#8. One great cause of the vanity, extravagance and idleness that are so fast growing upon our young ladies, is the absence of domestic education.

Lydia Maria Francis Child

#9. A boy wrote me once to say that he loved it when the news from Lake Wobegon came on the radio because it meant that his parents stopped arguing. That was an eye-opener for me. You work hard to polish your act and then you find out that it does people good in ways you couldn't predict.

Garrison Keillor

#10. But fish not with this melancholy bait
For this fool gudgeon, this opinion.

William Shakespeare

#11. A great city with water barriers and no bridges is like a skyscraper with no elevators. Bridges are a monument to progress.

Joseph Straus

#12. In Lake Wobegon, we don't forget mistakes.

Garrison Keillor