Garlin Quotes

#1. By the way, to perform in front of Don Rickles, it 's not nerve-wrecking. It 's enjoyable, i am enjoying Jeff Garlin. I hope I perform in front of Don Rickles every night of my life !

Jeff Garlin

#2. I have the bigger iPad, but the Mini is the best. It just seems perfect. The old one seems so big and heavy. I like simple and clean.

Jeff Garlin

#3. The essence of democracy is its assurance that every human being should so respect himself and should be so respected in his own personality that he should have opportunity equal to that of every other human being to show what he was meant to become.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#4. I do love directing. It's probably my favorite thing that I do.

Jeff Garlin

#5. I'm totally comfortable not being as funny as Larry David.

Jeff Garlin

#6. As an individual doing a podcast, you don't get even remotely rich. It's not something to do for money.

Jeff Garlin

#7. Forget 'full of myself,' I'm not remotely impressed with myself.

Jeff Garlin

#8. Of all the wastes of human ignorance perhaps the most extravagant and costly to human growth has been the waste of the distinctive powers of womanhood after the child-bearing age.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#9. The worst kind of idiot is the one who doesn't think they're an idiot.

Jeff Garlin

#10. Certainly early on, I kind of modeled myself after Steve Martin and Bill Murray. I would imitate them sometimes.

Jeff Garlin

#11. If you're gonna be a maniac, pyro's not a good maniac.

Jeff Garlin

#12. In my stand-up, I generally improvise from an outline.

Jeff Garlin

#13. Whenever I meet someone who's talented, I always want to write something for them!

Jeff Garlin

#14. For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey.

Jeff Garlin

#15. It is not alone the fact that women have generally had to spend most of their strength in caring for others that has handicapped them in individual effort; but also that they have almost universally had to care wholly for themselves

Anna Garlin Spencer

#16. My kids have played soccer and baseball and basketball, and the parents who come to games are always saying and doing things that are just wildly inappropriate.

Jeff Garlin

#17. I have gone to many theaters where it is so unpleasant with the commercials before the movie, the volume, and the disrespect of the filmgoers. So I understand people not wanting to go to the theater.

Jeff Garlin

#18. Have Faith! Have faith in the Eternal Goodness. Believe that the core of the Universe is sound and sweet.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#19. When you see a bad romantic comedy, you see the script, the director, and the actors trying to create this warmth and this pathos and this feeling that you care about them. That cannot be manufactured - it's either there or it isn't.

Jeff Garlin

#20. Comedians sometimes forget that there's an audience. You gotta be conscious that you're performing for other human beings.

Jeff Garlin

#21. It is an old error of man to forget to put quotation marks where he borrows from a woman's brain!

Anna Garlin Spencer

#22. Acting's fine if the script's written by Paddy Chayefsky and Martin Scorsese directs it, but unless you have something like that, I don't really enjoy acting.

Jeff Garlin

#23. I've avoided doing network shows because I don't think they're true to real families.

Jeff Garlin

#24. First off, I don't do self-deprecation comedy based on being fat. I would always talk about it honestly. Secondly, I don't care how much I weigh.

Jeff Garlin

#25. No book has yet been written in praise of a woman who let her husband and children starve or suffer while she invented even the most useful things, or wrote books, or expressed herself in art, or evolved philosophic systems

Anna Garlin Spencer

#26. The earth is ready, the time is ripe, for the authoritative expression of the feminine as well as the masculine interpretation of that common social consensus which is slowly writing justice in the State and fraternity in the social order.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#27. The only thing that I demand of the audience is that they listen to what I'm saying. Other than that, they owe me nothing. They don't owe me a thing.

Jeff Garlin

#28. I like independent movies, documentaries. There's not a lot of movies that are commercially made that I dig.

Jeff Garlin

#29. I don't care what I do - act, stand-up, write, direct - it doesn't matter as long as I'm being creative and it's good work.

Jeff Garlin

#30. The experience of the race shows that we get our most important education not through books but through our work. We are developed by our daily task, or else demoralized by it, as by nothing else.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#31. The reality is [in] any emotional situation, a compulsive eater eats or an alcoholic
drinks. What people misunderstand is that when you're a compulsive overeater,
you don't just eat when things are bad. You eat when you feel anything.

Jeff Garlin

#32. And when her biographer says of an Italian woman poet, 'during some years her Muse was intermitted,' we do not wonder at the fact when he casually mentions her ten children.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#33. There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.

Jeff Garlin

#34. Anyone can see that to write Uncle Tom's Cabin on the knee in the kitchen, with constant calls to cooking and other details of housework to punctuate the paragraphs, was a more difficult achievement than to write it at leisure in a quiet room.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#35. I don't think I'm ever going to retire from stand-up, but what I have retired from is working the road every week.

Jeff Garlin

#36. I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not.

Jeff Garlin

#37. The failure of women to produce genius of the first rank in most of the supreme forms of human effort has been used to block the way of all women of talent and ambition for intellectual achievement.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#38. I'm a freak for great movies. I love movies.

Jeff Garlin

#39. I like raconteurs; I like conversation. I liked the 'Tonight Show' when it was 90 minutes, I like when people aren't plugging things per se, and they're just in the moment being interesting.

Jeff Garlin

#40. Why do I want to be challenged or have challenges? That's why I don't go climb mountains.

Jeff Garlin

#41. Parents have got to chill out. Let your kid eat dirt - they're gonna be fine!

Jeff Garlin

#42. Can a woman become a genius of the first class? Nobody can know unless women in general shall have equal opportunity with men in education, in vocational choice, and in social welcome of their best intellectual work for a number of generations.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#43. Directing is really my favorite thing to do, but if I never directed again, I'd be okay if all the work I did was good.

Jeff Garlin

#44. A successful woman preacher was once asked what special obstacles have you met as a woman in the ministry? Not one, she answered, except the lack of a minister's wife.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#45. The friendship between a man and a woman which does not lead to marriage or desire for marriage may be a life long experience of the greatest value to themselves and to all their circle of acquaintance and of activity; but for this type of friendship both a rare man and a rare woman are needed.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#46. To the highest leadership among women it is given to hold steadily in one hand the sacred vessels that hold the ancient sanctities of life, and in the other a flaming torch to light the way for oncoming generations.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#47. I'm from Chicago and it's a huge influence on me.

Jeff Garlin

#48. I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit.

Jeff Garlin

#49. At the outstart of discussions of women's intellectual attainments, it is well to remember how few are the men of the first rank.

Anna Garlin Spencer

#50. I hate cellphones. They are not for good, they're for evil. They're for gossip.

Jeff Garlin