Funny You're Getting Old Quotes

#1. I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar! - Author: Rodney Dangerfield

#2. My recipe for bliss on a Friday night consists of a 'New York Times' crossword puzzle and a new episode of 'Homicide;' Saturdays and Sundays are oriented around walks in the woods with the dog, human companion in tow some of the time but not always. - Author: Caroline Knapp

#3. Some of the intensity left Vincent's face and his mouth twisted into a boyish grin, but he never broke eye contact. - Author: Priscilla West

#4. I write storys to entertain not to be the best - Author: Lemony Snicket

#5. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. - Author: Will Rogers

#6. This doesn't mean you're getting a discount."
Audrey heaved a mock sigh. "Oh well. I guess I'll have to ply you with sexual favors, then."
Gnome choked on the soup. "I'm old enough to be your grandfather!"
Audrey winked at him, gathering the empty bags. "But you're not. - Author: Ilona Andrews

#7. I'm a fan of the old 'Creature Features' like 'Critters,' and 'Gremlins' and 'Tremors.' 'Jaws' is classic. It's funny that I still like those films because I remember my mom would tease me about getting a pet Critter to keep under my bed. - Author: Brooke Nevin

#8. It's funny, I don't feel any older than I did when I was twenty. But I know I am, because recently some twenty-year-old called me 'sir.' Sometimes the only way you know you are getting older is by the way others treat you. - Author: John Van Epp

#9. Avery: Yeah right, very funny, when are you going to shoot me and dump my body at captree? This is Getting old. - Author: H.M. Ward

#10. Look at airport security now. What started out as definite racial profiling is now where the computer picks a name. That's why you get a seven-month-old getting a pat down. [Imitates a security officer.] "Check the diapers. They're full." - Author: Robin Williams

#11. Blame or credit, does not belong to the child alone. Parents, those who raised the child, must be given equal credit, or blame. That does not change, when the child is one, twenty or ninety years old. - Author: Omar Kiam

#12. Kill the unclean one!
Being called that was really getting old. Like it'd been funny the first two times ... - Author: Kresley Cole

#13. I went to a public school in Oak Harbor, Ohio, and it's a very rural community. I was an artist kid, and I just didn't fit in very well. - Author: Crystal Bowersox

#14. The great thing is that the funny side of getting old is fuel for my comedy. - Author: Steve Coogan

#15. You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work. - Author: Hy Gardner