Top 20 Funny You're Fired Quotes

#1. It was funny to be an emcee, because you're so at the mercy of the club. You can show up for the weekend hoping to get the $400 - and get fired. I had to prank whoever they told me to prank.

John Mulaney

Funny You're Fired Quotes #125088
#2. I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners. But there was always a voice saying, You should be doing something different. And it was usually my boss and I was being fired.

Ellen DeGeneres

Funny You're Fired Quotes #282559
#3. But I forgot to tell him," I said quietly, opening the door, "that the villain is usually the person who locks up the maiden and throws away the key."
"Oh?"
I shrugged. "He was the one who let me out.".

Sarah J. Maas

Funny You're Fired Quotes #456941
#4. My cheerleader part in 'Fired Up!' is really funny.

Julianna Guill

Funny You're Fired Quotes #520384
#5. I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.

Steven Wright

Funny You're Fired Quotes #554875
#6. We know that there are children out there whose parents do not take the kind of interest in their upbringing and in their existence that we would wish, but I don't think censorship is ever the solution to any problem, be it societal or be it the kind of information or ideas that you have access to.

Judith Krug

Funny You're Fired Quotes #682362
#7. She jumps on me for sharing pain with the living, but she tries to share it with the dead.

Octavia E. Butler

Funny You're Fired Quotes #688726
#8. I don't think pornography is harmful, but it is terribly, terribly boring.

Noel Coward

Funny You're Fired Quotes #743676
#9. I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it, because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway.

Wallace Wang

Funny You're Fired Quotes #758269
#10. I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

Steven Wright

Funny You're Fired Quotes #896223
#11. I love insults, devastating takedowns, things that could be described by Twitter hacks as 'shots fired,' and funny ad hominem attacks.

Alex Pareene

Funny You're Fired Quotes #1014256
#12. It's funny, when you become an actor and you're successful, they don't want to talk about acting any more. 'Hey let's talk about that stuff you were fired from.'

Nicholas Brendon

Funny You're Fired Quotes #1017923
#13. He suddenly remembered the tape he had taken from Susan's answering machine, and hoped to God there wasn't anything more important in Gordon's message than ravings about rabbits.

Douglas Adams

Funny You're Fired Quotes #1071761
#14. I taught Sunday School for two years. And I got fired. I abused my authority. I used to teach class like this, "OK, if one more person talks, everybody is going to Hell."

Margaret Cho

Funny You're Fired Quotes #1084188
#15. But questioning does not mean the end of loving, and loving does not mean the abnegation of intelligence

Winifred Holtby

Funny You're Fired Quotes #1258288
#16. Torn clothes are funny ... until your dad gets fired.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Funny You're Fired Quotes #1391443
#17. Above all, we owe it to the children of the world to stop the conflicts and to create new horizons for them.

F. W. De Klerk

Funny You're Fired Quotes #1513735
#18. You realize people like you and Trav are going to fight, right?" America said, filing her nails as she chewed the huge wad of gum in her mouth.
I turned over on the bed. "You are officially fired. You are a terrible conscious.

Jamie McGuire

Funny You're Fired Quotes #1755182
#19. The building is an old strip club. The sign reads "Fuzzy Holes." That's a funny name for a club. On the sign below the name is reads "We fired the ugly one. Come on in!

Joseph Zuko

Funny You're Fired Quotes #1775327
#20. I've fully embraced who I am. I stopped fighting with people and just come to realize, 'This is me. This is all of me.'

Estelle

Funny You're Fired Quotes #1878537

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