Top 28 Funny Wind Sayings
#1. If you're driving your car and someone winds the window down and gives you the finger and calls you an asshole, instead of giving him the finger back and calling him an asshole back, you just pull a funny face, and he doesn't know how to react to that, because you're using different rules.
Steve Coogan
#2. Legislation has been and is still directed towards the protection of wealth, rather than towards the far more important interests of labor on which everything of value to mankind depends.
Leland Stanford
#3. That is a fart without wind ... in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny.
Faye Kellerman
#4. You support me when I falter, and give me strength to bear the pain of my past. You make me laugh until I hurt, and soothe me when I'm tied up inside. It's funny how things work out, how life can throw curveballs, yet two people wind up exactly where they're supposed to be.
Kristin Miller
#5. It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
Art Buchwald
#7. I stopped at a stop sign at the end of the street, and Margo said, "What the hell? Go go go go go," and I said, "Oh, right," because I had forgotten that I was throwing caution to the wind and everything.
John Green
#8. I would love to interview Michael McKean and his wife, who wrote the songs for 'A Mighty Wind,' which is my favorite Christopher Guest movie. I'm just a sucker for any funny guy that has a wife who is intelligent and that he collaborates with.
Julie Klausner
#9. I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.
Billy Connolly
#10. Ivan Ilych's life had been most simple and most ordinary and therefore most terrible.
Leo Tolstoy
#11. I think anybody starting any new career needs work.
Mehcad Brooks
#12. Actions defined a man; words were a fart in the wind.
Mario Puzo
#13. Of course, the wind sort of swept up and the music was flying around in mid air and they were trying to play off it. You had to be there. It was quite funny.
Roy Wood
#14. Bad weather's moving in," the old bird said, finally handing me a check.
Never seen so many tornadoes in my life.
We don't need no more of those," I agreed. "Last time one went through, the wind blew so hard I had to have my butt cheeks sewn back together.
Nick Wilgus
#15. We walked on the moon. We made footprints somewhere no one else had ever made footprints, and unless someone comes and rubs them out, those footprints will be there forever because there's no wind.
Frank Cottrell Boyce
#16. My brain is a vast, barren, jokeless plain where wolves howl at the moon over rocky overhangs and the wind kicks up twists of sand and tumbleweed.
Craig Silvey
#17. Broken Wind believed that we are traumatized as babies by intestinal gas or colic. The great shaman invented a technique called "gastral projection" to help release these traumas. His philosophy was simple: "To air is human ... but to really cut one loose is divine.
Swami Beyondananda
#18. Oliver has stated many times his dislike of hearing advice from his younger sister, so it is his own fault if he has not got sense enough to see which way the wind is blowing.
Patricia C. Wrede
#19. Conspiracy theorists of the world, believers in the hidden hands of the Rothschilds and the Masons and the Illuminati, we skeptics owe you an apology. You were right. The players may be a little different, but your basic premise is correct: The world is a rigged game.
Matt Taibbi
#20. Byron clapped Walter on the back. 'Good work,' he said.
Walter shook his head. 'You're the one who clocked her with the Stephen King hardcover. That took some of the wind out of her.'
'Thank heavens he's a wordy man,' said Byron.
Michael Thomas Ford
#21. Here you are. Would you like some pickles?"
"Pickles gives me the wind something awful."
"In that case - "
"Oh, I wasn't saying no," Mistress Weatherwax said, taking two large pickled cucumbers.
Terry Pratchett
#22. Hip-hop as a culture itself goes through stages. It grows - it's breathing, living. I've noticed that we usually start off conscious, then we wind up very highly sexual, and then we thug it out. Then things get a little funny again, with comedy and that kind of thing.
KRS-One
#23. A traffic policeman stops Sister Bridget for speeding. She pulls into the side of the road and winds down her window. The officer walks round and starts undoing his fly. "Oh dear," she says, "Not the breathalyser again."
Frank Carson
#24. Nana's French knickers were surely a symbol of liberty and abandonment, worn only by women who didn't care for conventional frills or superficial nametags. Those french knickers were flags blowing in the wind, like a statement of victory.
Diana Janney
#25. Lobo: "Hmph! Never figured I'd wind up in heaven...A bad-ass dude like me!
Spirit Guide: "It happens sometimes. The "Infinite Mercy" clause is only used in extreme cases.
Keith Giffen
#26. It's like one of those scenes from a feel-good Hollywood movie. Where everybody is happy and nobody's hair fizzes in the wind. Where it doesn't rain, your shoes stay comfortable all day, and everybody's jokes are funny.
Randa Abdel-Fattah
#27. I always get very calm with baseball.
Paul Simon
#28. Truth was funny, because it was an insistent thing, maybe as powerful and insistent as some force of nature, the push of water or wind. You could keep it out only so long, but it had its own will and its own needs, and maybe you could keep it at bay with lies, but not for long, not for always.
Deb Caletti
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