Funny Too Late Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 52 famous quotes and sayings about funny too late to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 52 Funny Too Late Quotes

#1. When you paint late at night, drinking beer or wine or both, you gotta be very careful to watch what you are doing ... - Author: Hiroko Sakai
Funny Too Late Quotes #1554479
#2. David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late '80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He's a very cool, hip guy. This film, let's face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he'd find it funny. - Author: Martin Short
Funny Too Late Quotes #1023829
#3. Funny how you can live your whole life waiting and not know it ... Waiting for your real life to begin. Maybe the most real thing the end. To realize when it's too late. I know now that I loved him more than anything on earth or off of it. - Author: Peter Heller
Funny Too Late Quotes #1241436
#4. And Barry Levinson is insanely funny. I don't know if you know this, not everyone does, but he and Craig T. Nelson were a comedy team back in the coffeehouse days of the late '60s. - Author: Kevin Pollak
Funny Too Late Quotes #1297079
#5. I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes. - Author: Scott Aukerman
Funny Too Late Quotes #1310197
#6. When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.' - Author: George Burns
Funny Too Late Quotes #1320089
#7. Don't you hate when people are late to work. And they always have the worst excuses. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, traffic." "Traffic, huh? How do you think I got here; helicoptered in!?" - Author: Ellen DeGeneres
Funny Too Late Quotes #1363683
#8. I'm sure that people who have been tweeting funny things have ended up on writing staffs of a late night show. - Author: Dane Cook
Funny Too Late Quotes #1372489
#9. Assumptions are unopened windows that foolish birds fly into, and their broken bodies are evidence gathered too late. - Author: Bryan Davis
Funny Too Late Quotes #1385990
#10. Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Author: Woody Allen
Funny Too Late Quotes #1410131
#11. You're basically the same person forever so you find the same stuff funny forever. The Muppet Show spoke to me at 5 and it speaks to me in my late 30s in the same way. - Author: James Bobin
Funny Too Late Quotes #1438490
#12. Irene gasped. "Have you taken leave of your senses, Stuart?" she hissed. "Have you?"
Stuart closed his eyes.
"No," he said. "Au contraire." It was strong language for the Edinburgh New Town, but he had to say it.
"Don't au contraire me," said Irene.
But it was too late. He had. - Author: Alexander McCall Smith
Funny Too Late Quotes #1507506
#13. My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone is all coming back!" - Author: Henny Youngman
Funny Too Late Quotes #1514559
#14. For every guy who loves being a dad, there's another who realizes too late that he's created something his wife loves more than him. - Author: Mark R. Brand
Funny Too Late Quotes #990145
#15. My friend Phil Morrison directed a lot of my favorite videos back in the mid- to late-90s - all the Yo La Tengo videos that were funny, a Juliana Hatfield video. He was such an influence with me, and I wanted to do a video the way Phil used to do videos. I did that for Phil. - Author: Tom Scharpling
Funny Too Late Quotes #1563195
#16. Lucas: I wanted to talk to you after class, but you disappeared.
Me: I have another class right after. One of those profs who stops talking, stares at you and waits until you get to your seat if you're late.
Lucas: I would probably just walk to my seat even slower. ;) - Author: Tammara Webber
Funny Too Late Quotes #1566253
#17. That's the funny thing about old people: they never seem in a hurry. I think old people have figured out that being five minutes late really doesn't matter much. - Author: Shannon Wiersbitzky
Funny Too Late Quotes #1625182
#18. I was never an actress in high school. I didn't start acting until I was in my twenties. I was just a funny cheerleader. I hadn't even seen a show until I was in my twenties, so I was very late getting into the business. - Author: Debra Monk
Funny Too Late Quotes #1642162
#19. I'm on so late I'm definitely the last seconds of anyone's attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, 'That's funny,' then fall asleep. - Author: Jimmy Fallon
Funny Too Late Quotes #1652374
#20. My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable. - Author: Henny Youngman
Funny Too Late Quotes #1693157
#21. No, it's fine. I know you're late. Maybe we can talk tomorrow, but I'm going to be in and out all day."
"That's what he said," she purred. - Author: Dannika Dark
Funny Too Late Quotes #1707337
#22. Like Richard Price and the late, great Elmore Leonard, Matt Burgess is one of those cool, quick and funny writers who can turn a seemingly routine crime caper into something special. - Author: Carl Hiaasen
Funny Too Late Quotes #1737495
#23. Poor soul - very sad; her late husband, you know, a very sad death - eaten by missionaries - poor soul. - Author: William Archibald Spooner
Funny Too Late Quotes #1761800
#24. There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with this." Who would make their plants hard to reach? That seems so very mean. I know you need water, but I'm going to make you hard to reach. "Think like a cactus!" - Author: Mitch Hedberg
Funny Too Late Quotes #1773317
#25. You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. - Author: Garry Shandling
Funny Too Late Quotes #1810297
#26. Phones are only good for ordering pizza and telling someone you're running late - Author: Amy Reed
Funny Too Late Quotes #1833843
#27. When I started in the late nineties, it was all about young Hollywood. There were jobs for all of us if you were 18 to 21, were slightly good looking, or could be funny. - Author: Chris Klein
Funny Too Late Quotes #518612
#28. I know I shouldn't say this - I know it as surely as I know the earth is round and beats are evil - and yet here it comes: It's not too late to change your mind. - Author: Sara Zarr
Funny Too Late Quotes #63226
#29. Whenever I'm running an hour late for for work, it always makes me feel better when I can leave an hour early at the end of the day to make up for it. - Author: Mark W. Boyer
Funny Too Late Quotes #118811
#30. When I started out in the late '80s, my act was pretty terrible, and for years, I kind of toiled in obscurity. I don't believe in a hierarchy in comedy; I feel that a person deserves respect the first time they get onstage, and after that, they just have to be funny and get more consistent. - Author: Andy Kindler
Funny Too Late Quotes #285878
#31. So what's it to be, Bear?"
Dev lifted his leg and gave a sarcastic slap to his thigh.
"By golly, I'll take door number two, Bob. You know the one that calls for straight suicide with a side of mutilation and pain? Sign my hairy ass up for that and don't be late. - Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon
Funny Too Late Quotes #290588
#32. In a late-night monologue, it's not just about being funny; you have to come off as knowledgeable. You have to cultivate a persona of trust and intelligence and likeability. - Author: Anthony Jeselnik
Funny Too Late Quotes #308775
#33. It's funny how when you're up so late at night for so long your mind can get into these creative places, the kind of creative places that come to you when you're halfway between asleep and awake. - Author: Steve Wozniak
Funny Too Late Quotes #354336
#34. The late start is due to the time. - Author: David Coleman
Funny Too Late Quotes #372042
#35. It's funny, how you realize things too late. Someone once said to me the tragedy about life is that you understand it backwards. But I don't think so. I think the tragedy about life is there is no tragedy - you just don't know it till you die."
- Patty Belle Bellani - Author: Marianne Macdonald
Funny Too Late Quotes #399386
#36. I hate it in friends when they come too late to help. - Author: Euripides
Funny Too Late Quotes #444977
#37. The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, "Right here, officer." - Author: Steven Wright
Funny Too Late Quotes #447066
#38. Sorry I'm late, Ms. Egami said to the class. She dropped her papers, which scattered in that special way papers do when one is running late. - Author: Adam Rex
Funny Too Late Quotes #454618
#39. Motto for latin countries: If you're not late, you're not on time - Author: Bogdan Vaida
Funny Too Late Quotes #456035
#40. She says screens are the cigarettes of our age. They're toxic, and we're only going to realize the damage they're doing when it's too late. - Author: Sophie Kinsella
Funny Too Late Quotes #44
#41. It's funny to be pigeonholed so late in life but there we are. - Author: Maggie Smith
Funny Too Late Quotes #538977
#42. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!" - Author: Henny Youngman
Funny Too Late Quotes #590429
#43. George was captivated by her. She was a pip, as George's father might have said. But what he saw quickly, what he was sure Noah was oblivious to, Ellie was very like Noah's late wife. She was unique, confident, funny and impossibly positive. Noah - Author: Robyn Carr
Funny Too Late Quotes #597980
#44. People ask me for my autograph after a show. I'm not famous, I think they're messing with me. I think they're trying to make me late for something. - Author: Mitch Hedberg
Funny Too Late Quotes #638242
#45. Afore me! It is so very late,
That we may call it early by and by. - Author: William Shakespeare
Funny Too Late Quotes #639850
#46. I knew you'd be late," Zane commented as Ty walked past him.
"And I knew you'd still have that stick up your ass," Ty responded
with a shake of his head, not slowing as Zane spoke to him. - Author: Abigail Roux
Funny Too Late Quotes #661364
#47. It's funny how things don't matter any more when it's too late. - Author: Carole Matthews
Funny Too Late Quotes #719971
#48. I'm leaving the door partly open," he says as he follows Tegan. "You scream if you need me."
Once he is outside, Richard says, "He does realize that if he hears your scream, it's already too late. - Author: J.A. London
Funny Too Late Quotes #811118
#49. I know I'm not funny. I mean, let's face it, I'm no Groucho Marx. But if you're a guy, and you're watching late night television, are you gonna start jacking off to Groucho? I don't think so! - Author: Sarah Silverman
Funny Too Late Quotes #852355
#50. Airplane Law, The: When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time. - Author: Paul Dickson
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#51. Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late' - Author: Oscar Wilde
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#52. In theory I rather admire the Spaniards for not sharing our Northern time-neurosis; but unfortunately I share it myself. - Author: George Orwell
Funny Too Late Quotes #989828

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