Top 18 Funny Toilet Paper Quotes
#2. I had quite a religious upbringing. I gave my life over to Christ at 11. I took it back when I was about 14.
Brian Molko
#3. He spun out enough toilet paper to vandalize a house and carefully cleaned the seat.
Adam Rex
#4. There is a sense of exhilaration that comes from facing head-on the hard truths and saying, "We will never give up. We will never capitulate. It might take a long time, but we will find a way to prevail."
James C. Collins
#5. There's a deep underlying unpredictability to life that is thrilling. In China, my wife would say you go out to buy toilet paper, and you come back, and something interesting or revealing or funny happened on the way.
Evan Osnos
#6. My own personal, moral, spiritual, religious, etc. beliefs don't oppose same-gender marriage.
Ed Case
#7. I could now see her the way she actually is and not in the distorted way my mind presented her to me when I was trying to find a reason to reject her and move on
Jack Weyland
#8. You're a goddamn thief and a liar, Gillian..." he whispered against my mouth as he slid his hand between my thighs and tore off my soaked panties. "A goddamn thief and a liar.
Whitney G.
#9. With the invention of the blog and all this Internet stuff, everybody has an opinion; everybody has a voice. In fact, there was a time when the average person didn't have a voice so you had to pick an artist to speak for you.
Ice-T
#12. I love my ex so much I printed out all his pictures. After all, I need him for target practice. And I just love customised toilet paper and doormats. My only regret is that those items don't bear his autograph.
Natalya Vorobyova
#13. She's your soft place, son. A man needs a soft place to land when life gets fucked.
Nicole Jacquelyn
#15. One of the most jolting days of adulthood comes the first time you run out of toilet paper. Toilet paper, up until this point, always just existed. And now it's a finite resource, constantly in danger of extinction, that must be carefully tracked and monitored, like pandas?
Kelly Williams Brown
#16. The walls of her stall were covered with graffiti. If it had been funny ("Pull here for MFA Degree" right below the toilet paper dispenser) she would've stayed longer, but it was mostly weird random names and dates.
Grady Hendrix
#17. You're going to spend more time with yourself than with anyone else in your life. You want to spend that whole time fighting who you are?
Alex Sanchez
#18. Walter, my first wife, Laila, used to throw around a quote. I don't know who said it first, but it went something like, 'If men menstruated, there would floating federal holidays for them.
Seth Kaufman
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