Top 22 Funny Toilet Humor Quotes
#1. This guy was making me tired. "Thanks for the afternoon's entertainment," I said. "I'll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.
John Swartzwelder
#2. I'm not ashamed of anything that I've done because when I did it, I was passionate about it and I was doing it for a reason.
Yelawolf
#3. One of the most beautiful sights in dance is American Ballet Theatre in full flight.
Clive Barnes
#5. The existence of the soldier, next to capital punishment, is the most grievous vestige of barbarism which survives among men.
Alfred De Vigny
#6. I'm using the death penalty to keep Alabama family safe from the most violent criminals, why? It's because it works. Recent studies have said that every time an execution is carried out in the United States, up to 75 murders are prevented the next year.
Troy King
#8. With 'Darkly Dreaming Dexter,' we as a group of writers had to take a rather thin novel and spread it out over the course of 12 episodes, and not only 12 episodes, but lay in story for everyone that's going to take you through five years.
Melissa Rosenberg
#9. Once upon a time,an angel and a devil pressed their hands to their hearts
and started the apocalypse.
Laini Taylor
#10. People keep asking me if I am having more fun, being blonde, but I always have fun! Whether I'm blonde, redhead, or brunette! I always have fun.
Kelly Clarkson
#11. Marla said, This isn't like when guys sit backward on the toilet and pretend it's a motorcycle. This is a genuine accident.
Chuck Palahniuk
#12. I couldn't see anything beyond this. Beyond her. Beyond us.
(Blaine)
S.L. Jennings
#13. One possibility is: God is nothing but the power of the universe to organize itself.
Lee Smolin
#14. I don't take off time from teaching to write. I take time off from writing to teach.
Steven Millhauser
#16. The man glanced up. "Hello. Tweeter tells me you're Kody, a fellow Mundanian, newly arrived, and you want to compare notes." "Uh, yes, in essence," Kody agreed, taken aback. All that from one tweet? Well, maybe it did fit within 140 characters.
Piers Anthony
#17. Sounding throaty like a dog before it barfed, he said, Put her in the chair.
Judy Byington
#18. As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne.
Dan Brown
#19. What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!
Frankie Boyle
#20. Her boyfriend, Camdon or Brandon or whatever his name is, tosses Callie his wallet and says, 'Gotta take a leak.' They exchange a kiss--- which, I mean, why? Is he going to drown in the toilet?
Julie Murphy
#21. Nothing is wasted of time if you use the xperience wisely.
Auguste Rodin
#22. Pain was better than anxiety any day of the week and sweat was better than depression.
Sue Grafton