Top 22 Funny Toilet Humor Quotes

#1. This guy was making me tired. "Thanks for the afternoon's entertainment," I said. "I'll flush a copy of my bill down the toilet. You should be getting it in a couple of days.

John Swartzwelder

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #40424
#2. I'm not ashamed of anything that I've done because when I did it, I was passionate about it and I was doing it for a reason.

Yelawolf

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #88817
#3. One of the most beautiful sights in dance is American Ballet Theatre in full flight.

Clive Barnes

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #162140
#4. Life before toilet paper was not worth living.

Sherrilyn Kenyon

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #233501
#5. The existence of the soldier, next to capital punishment, is the most grievous vestige of barbarism which survives among men.

Alfred De Vigny

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #270437
#6. I'm using the death penalty to keep Alabama family safe from the most violent criminals, why? It's because it works. Recent studies have said that every time an execution is carried out in the United States, up to 75 murders are prevented the next year.

Troy King

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #287893
#7. Beautiful and rare Aurora,
In the heavens thou art their Flora

Christopher Pearse Cranch

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #293350
#8. With 'Darkly Dreaming Dexter,' we as a group of writers had to take a rather thin novel and spread it out over the course of 12 episodes, and not only 12 episodes, but lay in story for everyone that's going to take you through five years.

Melissa Rosenberg

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #294757
#9. Once upon a time,an angel and a devil pressed their hands to their hearts
and started the apocalypse.

Laini Taylor

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #348167
#10. People keep asking me if I am having more fun, being blonde, but I always have fun! Whether I'm blonde, redhead, or brunette! I always have fun.

Kelly Clarkson

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #392136
#11. Marla said, This isn't like when guys sit backward on the toilet and pretend it's a motorcycle. This is a genuine accident.

Chuck Palahniuk

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #428148
#12. I couldn't see anything beyond this. Beyond her. Beyond us.

(Blaine)

S.L. Jennings

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #444073
#13. One possibility is: God is nothing but the power of the universe to organize itself.

Lee Smolin

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #646269
#14. I don't take off time from teaching to write. I take time off from writing to teach.

Steven Millhauser

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #898839
#15. Still blows my mind that toilet paper isn't free.

Kristen Schaal

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #1247823
#16. The man glanced up. "Hello. Tweeter tells me you're Kody, a fellow Mundanian, newly arrived, and you want to compare notes." "Uh, yes, in essence," Kody agreed, taken aback. All that from one tweet? Well, maybe it did fit within 140 characters.

Piers Anthony

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #1415067
#17. Sounding throaty like a dog before it barfed, he said, Put her in the chair.

Judy Byington

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #1568255
#18. As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne.

Dan Brown

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #1649637
#19. What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!

Frankie Boyle

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #1718951
#20. Her boyfriend, Camdon or Brandon or whatever his name is, tosses Callie his wallet and says, 'Gotta take a leak.' They exchange a kiss--- which, I mean, why? Is he going to drown in the toilet?

Julie Murphy

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #1721953
#21. Nothing is wasted of time if you use the xperience wisely.

Auguste Rodin

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #1728238
#22. Pain was better than anxiety any day of the week and sweat was better than depression.

Sue Grafton

Funny Toilet Humor Quotes #1762012

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