Funny Things I've Learned Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 38 famous quotes and sayings about funny things i've learned to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 38 Funny Things I've Learned Quotes

#1. I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in. - Author: Emo Philips
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#2. I think my way of being "funny" is just saying things that people think but have learned not to say, whereas, I haven't learned not to say them. - Author: Victoria Chang
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#3. The biggest lesson I've learned ... was that if you have all the fresh water you want to drink and all the food you want to eat, you ought never to complain about anything. - Author: Eddie Rickenbacker
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#4. If life is unfair with everyone, doesn't that make life fair - Author: Thabang Gideon Magaola
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#5. I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there. "All right, I'm standing in front of a room full of strangers. Based on what I learned in gym class, I will throw a red ball at a fat guy." - Author: Jim Gaffigan
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#6. I learned pretty early is I never defend my material; it's for other people to if someone is offended. It's so subjective, and if you don't find it funny, it's definitely going to be offensive. - Author: Sarah Silverman
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#7. Robin Williams learned technique. He has the technique of being funny. - Author: Paul Mooney
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#8. When I was one day old, I learned how to read. When I was two days old, I started to write. By the time I was three, I had finished 212 short stories, 38 novels, 730 poems, and one very funny limerick, all before breakfast. - Author: Jon Scieszka
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#9. From Kelsey, I have learned among many other things the value of turning on a dime and how you can have an extremely funny and extremely poignant moment with absolutely no separation in between ... and sometimes in the same moment. - Author: David Hyde Pierce
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#10. You aren't allowed back until you've learned to willingly suspend disbelief. - Author: Rebecca Murphy
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#11. Everyone tells me I have a funny accent. It's because I copy people. I learned English at school but have best friends who are French, Australian, English and American; a very weird mix. - Author: Caroline Winberg
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#12. One of these suburbs is actually named Stalingrad, which goes to show that the French have learned nothing about politics since they guillotined all the smart people in 1793. - Author: P. J. O'Rourke
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#13. I took notes on the people around me, in my town, in my family, in my memory. I took notes on my own state of mind, my grandiosity, the low self-esteem. I wrote down the funny stuff I overheard. I learned to be like a ship's rat, veined ears trembling, and I learned to scribble it all down. - Author: Anne Lamott
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#14. So what indeed! The lesson I myself learned over and over again when teaching at the college and then the prison was the uselessness of information to most people, except as entertainment. If facts weren't funny or scary, or couldn't make you rich, the heck with them. - Author: Kurt Vonnegut
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#15. One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December. - Author: Louis C.K.
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#16. I think the audience should take away that it's okay to be smart, it's okay to be funny and well-learned. You can be from academia and be funny; you don't have to be an idiot. - Author: Godfrey
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#17. We would write scripts, like for 'Shutterbugs.' Then when we shot it, everyone just came up with new stuff. We've definitely learned how to do it better as we've gotten along. So basically, that's how it went. We just go in with ideas and try to figure out funny stuff while we're there. - Author: Jason Woliner
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#18. Spain travel tip: If bathroom genders are indicated by flamingos, the boy flamingo is the one with a hat. I learned this the hard way. - Author: Dave Barry
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#19. Life is funny like that, making us pay for the same stupid mistakes even after we've learned from them thoroughly. - Author: R.K. Lilley
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#20. The hardest thing for me to do, and the best thing I've done and learned as an actor is to sacrifice being funny in certain circumstances in order to do something that makes sense for the story or the character, or emotionally. - Author: Jonah Hill
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#21. Did you ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned self-discipline. That's the important thing. - Author: Denis Leary
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#22. I spent 11 years at 'The Daily Show,' and I learned everything there about how to write funny, how to write funny on topic. - Author: David Javerbaum
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#23. The first thing that I learned - and I understood it at a really young age - was that I could get a laugh. Really early. Because my mother and father are funny. - Author: George Clooney
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#24. Among the most striking things that I have learned is how much we have in common. I've sat down with people everywhere, discussing what was in their hearts and on their minds. And it doesn't take long to find commonality, which is often overlooked, ignored, dismissed, and rejected otherwise. - Author: Hillary Clinton
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#25. it's funny how I'm encouraged to go to school so much, but I've learned more valuable things on google then from school. - Author: James Jean-Pierre
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#26. One thing I've learned about vampires
they keep pulling new rabbits out of their cloaks. Big, fanged, carnivorous bunnies that'll eat your eyeballs if you're not paying attention. - Author: Laurell K. Hamilton
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#27. I never learned anything from a match that I won. - Author: Bobby Jones
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#28. I started out of course with Hemingway when I learned how to write. Until I realized Hemingway doesn't have a sense of humor. He never has anything funny in his stories. - Author: Elmore Leonard
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#29. Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's. - Author: Jonathan Tropper
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#30. I see young quarterbacks just coming into the league, and they're throwing screens and layoffs right away. As funny as this might sound, I really learned a lot by going downfield, even in tight coverage. - Author: Peyton Manning
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#31. I didn't grow up thinking I was pretty; there was always a prettier girl than me. So I learned to be smart and tried to be funny and develop the inside of me, because I felt like that's what I had. - Author: Kerry Washington
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#32. My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this. - Author: Jerry Seinfeld
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#33. Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature's laws wrong, it learned to walk without having feet. Funny, it seems to by keeping it's dreams; it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else even cared. - Author: Tupac Shakur
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#34. I think it's cool to do stuff in a different language. Basically, I learned English through listening to rap. A lot of people think it's funny. But it's true; I used to try to get the accents. - Author: Wyclef Jean
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#35. While looking at a website for liposuction, I learned that it was a six-to eight-week recovery period, the clincher being that, during that time, I would under no circumstances be able to use street drugs. Obviously I had to think of a more realistic approach. - Author: Chelsea Handler
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#36. Sorry, Ian," Cameron said. He found himself saying that to Ian quite a bit. "I didn't understand."
Ian gave him a faint nod but didn't answer. His look told Cameron that he knew his older brother was an idiot, but he'd learned to put up with it. - Author: Jennifer Ashley
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#37. I've learned to start from a really sound argument, boil down the essence of what you're trying to say, then build your humor around that, rather than starting with, 'This sounds funny,' and going from there. - Author: Hasan Minhaj
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#38. Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it. - Author: Henny Youngman
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