Funny Suspense Quotes

#1. [Referring to the imprisonment of Oscar Wilde] ... Will civilization never reach humane ideals? Will men always punish most severely the sins they do not understand and which hold forth for them no temptation? Did Jesus suffer in vain?

Frank Harris

#2. Liza took her time sipping her tea. That's what I hear Janet. Of course, living it up can take years off your life and add them to your face.

Gwenn Wright

#3. Jake became excruciatingly aware of her, there, right behind him. The small grunts and groans as she placed each foot carefully on the slick ground reverberated in his gut. He wanted to turn around and tell her to shut the hell up.
She sounded as though she was having sex.
Good sex.

Cherry Adair

#4. Excuse me," she said, her voice tight. "But if I'd known there was going to be a firearms examination at the end of the kidnapping, by God, I would have studied for it!

Tara Janzen

#5. She wondered what he really saw when he looked at her. God, she hoped she didn't look like his mother or anything. That would be veering into a Hitchcock shower scene that she really didn't want to be the star of.

Jane Cousins

#6. I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one tells that forever feels like home
Sitting all alone in your head

Stone Sour

#7. Something can be very funny and then suddenly very terrifying-very exciting, and suddenly very ridiculous. I think that's what life is like, that's what interests me.

Joss Whedon

#8. If he sees you in this apartment he will seriously murder you and then break up with me. And I really, really don't want him to break up with me, Linc."
"But murdering me, that's all good?

Trevion Burns

#9. He'd done it like he did everything else - with passion and total disregard for how much it might embarrass her.

Kaylea Cross

#10. He should probably make love to her.

Tara Janzen

#11. He needed to gather her up, hold on to her, anything to help her stop trembling. Something was going to shake loose if she didn't.

Tara Janzen

#12. The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last.

Gene Wilder

#13. The man in 4B wondered if he could have your autograph. He told me his daughter is a huge fan.
Fan? What the hell? Dylan lifted himself up and looked over the back of his seat. Since when did covert operators have fans?

Tara Janzen

#14. That's the funny thing about guns; even untrained hands can feel powerful using them. But take that gun away and you're left with nothing but a coward whose only skill is how to blindly pull a trigger.

Jennifer Wilson

#15. Because I'm attracted to you. Because you're the poster child for contradictions and I enjoy each one of them. You're funny when you're being so damn serious. You have a kind heart and protective nature that reminds me so much of my father.

N.D. Jones

#16. Brooke?" he finally found the sense to ask. "What are you doing here?"
"I need a gun."
This was not how his dream was supposed to go.

Shannon K. Butcher

#17. All he'd done was lose her underwear and practically get her blown up.
Hell. This had to be the absolute worst first date of her life.

Tara Janzen

#18. -I was young! I made a mistake, okay! Haven't you ever made a mistake?
-I'm old! Of course I've made mistakes, you stupid little shit!

Drea Damara

#19. I pretend I'm one of the royal family when I'm in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me - it is a palace.

Martin Short

#20. Indignation is often the best defense.

Diane Capri

#21. What the hell was she doing on the nonhostage side of a handgun?

Suzanne Brockmann

#22. I have very high standards for every part of life - my work, my relationships, food, love. I can't just pretend.

Olivia Wilde

#23. Hitchcock had a charm about him. He was very funny at times. He was incredibly brilliant in his field of suspense.

Tippi Hedren

#24. When would he learn that women never stayed where you put them?

Maya Banks

#25. When you sit that way, you look kind of like a beach ball with a head," he continued. "Your haircut is really, really bad, I'm probably going to lose my job for helping you this way, and I'm dying to fuck you."
He glanced at her. "That honest enough for you?

Suzanne Brockmann

#26. Hey," Shayne said through the door. "You going to stay in there all night, because we're getting tired of trying to eavesdrop from out here. Can't hear a damn thing.

Jill Shalvis

#27. Sophie, honey, stop looking at me like that," Garrett said gruffly. "You'll have me convinced I'm going to die."
"You're not?

Maya Banks

#28. Honest to God, she was the noisiest woman he'd ever been shot at with.

Jill Shalvis

#29. It was the first time her eyes had really met mine and to be honest I think there was more warmth between the lamb chops in the freezer. Daniel meeting Felicity in Cousin Felicity and the Eels of Misty Point.

Kaal Kaczmarek

#30. It's not up to me ... to make the world consistent.

Saul Bellow