Funny Self Obsessed Quotes

#1. It is precisely in relationships of intimacy that your craziness (and mine) will be hardest to conceal.

Stephanie Dowrick

#2. Commissioners are obsessed with young people, which is funny because they don't watch telly - only old people do.

Jennifer Saunders

#3. Enlightened teachers are not logical. They don't function from levels that are understandable to the human mind. They're not religious. Religions form around them, usually after they've died.

Frederick Lenz

#4. You can no more keep a Martini in the refrigerator than you can keep a kiss there.

Bernard DeVoto

#5. There's actually a contest for the largest pumpkin?"

"Oh, yes. Vegetable size is a cutthroat category, I gather. You know men. Always obsessed with the girth of their courgettes.

Lucy Parker

#6. When I'm in town on Sundays, I sometimes go down to the Central Bar in the East Village to watch English football. But my natural inclination now is to get in the car with my wife and kids and get out of town.

Joe Scarborough

#7. I went to the University of San Francisco on an athletic scholarship. I didn't study in high school. I was just there to get by and to play basketball. But a funny thing happened to me when I got to college. I got challenged by the work and the professors.

Michael Franti

#8. By God, I will not obey this filthy enactment!

Ralph Waldo Emerson

#9. Real teenage boys aren't like characters in the books you read. They smell funny and are obsessed with video games and say dumb things. They're still learning, just like you.

Stacey Jay

#10. My father was cursed," James said from the darkness. "Whereas I? I'm damned.

Cassandra Clare

#11. The funny thing about mundies is how obsessed with magic they are for a bunch of people who don't even know what the word means.

Cassandra Clare

#12. You go out and obtain from your political allies and friends in the academic world to sign a letter saying that the offenses as alleged in the articles of impeachment do not rise to the level of an impeachable offense.

Charles Ruff

#13. There's no shame," John Barton said quietly. "Funerals are the place for letting it out. They're the last free-for-all in our society. Without them we would all turn to stone from unexpressed emotion.

Scot Gardner

#14. I know I'm only borrowing it. I know I have to give Summer back to you. Just as you, have to give Winter, back to me.

Pleasefindthis

#15. It's different with a parent, isn't it? They have to consider constantly whether to say yes or no, now or later. They have to discipline and enforce as well as love and tend. You'll only have to love, and they'll soak all that up like sponges.

Nora Roberts

#16. The thing that hunts me now thrives on terror. My terror. I fear he will come for me. I fear he will come for anyone who knows me.

Christina Dodd

#17. Once you've got a big feminist and political justification for talking about how you went round to Benedict Cumberbatch's house and did period all over his sofa, then there's no reason not to tell that anecdote in the middle of a dinner party.

Caitlin Moran

#18. The biggest downside of my current job is that I have to wear a suit to work. Wearing uncomfortable clothes on purpose is an example of what former Princeton hockey player and Nobel Prize winner Michael Spence taught economists to call 'signaling.'

Ben Bernanke

#19. Oh, hell, no. I saw you with the rifle." He glanced over at her, and his voice went a notch deeper. "It was fucking hot. I love a badass female.

Larissa Ione

#20. Money in property is dead money. It doesn't help the country. It's funny how the U.K., Ireland and Spain are the most property-obsessed nations in Europe and yet are also the ones suffering the most.

Peter Hargreaves

#21. I'm obsessed with sparkle for men. It's so funny watching people's reaction to a disco-ball shoe!

Brad Goreski