Funny Say What Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 100 famous quotes and sayings about funny say what to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 100 Funny Say What Quotes

#1. Playboy stretched his arm, patting Carlos on the back. Well, you know what they say: If you love someone, let'em go. If they don't come back, hunt'em down and kill'em! - Author: Alex Sanchez
Funny Say What Quotes #657755
#2. Busy, busy, busy, is what we Bokonists whisper whenever we think of how complicated and unpredictable the machinery of life really is.
But all I could say as a Christian then was, "Life is sure funny sometimes."
"And sometimes it isn't," said Marvin Breed. - Author: Kurt Vonnegut
Funny Say What Quotes #863687
#3. Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? 'Damn I got to get the hell out of here! What was I thinking!' - Author: Dave Attell
Funny Say What Quotes #839006
#4. If I am totally honest, I would have to say that 'Allo 'Allo!' was not my cup of tea, even though lots of people loved it. For that reason, I find comedy fascinating. There is a huge difference between what people find funny. - Author: Jo Brand
Funny Say What Quotes #838722
#5. On 'The Simpsons,' I will say that we definitely like to comment on what's going on in the world, and we try to be funny. If we can figure out a way of being funny about it, then we've gone part of the way of accomplishing our task. - Author: Matt Groening
Funny Say What Quotes #821921
#6. I also wanted to ask you if we can talk to the Erudite you're keeping safe here," I say. "I know they're hidden, but I need access to them."
"And what do you intend to do?" she says.
"Shoot them," I say, rolling my eyes.
"That isn't funny. - Author: Veronica Roth
Funny Say What Quotes #816327
#7. It's funny, people ask me, 'What would you consider the most romantic track on your record Mr Caine?' And I say 'Swollen' by Bent, and they say 'I think he's off his rocker!' - Author: Michael Caine
Funny Say What Quotes #794721
#8. I have a Sharpie. I love Sharpies. You know what they say on them? Not for letter writing. That sucks. Now I have to communicate with my dad using numbers. - Author: Mitch Hedberg
Funny Say What Quotes #780281
#9. What's funny is I probably still have some calligraphy business cards floating out in the world, and I can't wait for someone to call me in a month or something, and say, 'Can you do these for my son's Bar Mitzvah?' - Author: Meghan Markle
Funny Say What Quotes #773504
#10. Nanny Ogg was about to say: What? You mean not compliant and self-effacing like what you is, Esme? But she stopped herself. You didn't juggle matches in a fireworks factory. - Author: Terry Pratchett
Funny Say What Quotes #745730
#11. I don't know if there is a gene for comedy, but my dad was a very funny man. He just didn't know it. He was a naturally funny character, and when my brother and I would laugh at things he said and did, he would say, 'What do you think is so funny?' - Author: James Belushi
Funny Say What Quotes #733340
#12. Would you consider a man or a woman to be complicated? Is it that difficult to understand both the sexes? We say that we know what the other sex is all about, but is that really true? Perhaps the following witty, funny quotes and sayings can help simplify things down about men. - Author: Indira Gandhi
Funny Say What Quotes #721347
#13. That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone. - Author: Lewis Black
Funny Say What Quotes #716774
#14. I didn't say what kind of book. You have a foul mind Bingley."
"Don't mock me on my sister's wedding day!"
"I mocked you on yours; I hardly see how this is as bad," was Darcy's reply. - Author: Marsha Altman
Funny Say What Quotes #887201
#15. Ummm umm ah," he began, not knowing what to say. "Well that's a very funny joke Peter," Mr Higginbotton said, "but have you got a joke with some words that we might recognise?" "Oh - Author: Kate Cullen
Funny Say What Quotes #639560
#16. I'm going to take a shower," I said and prepared for the comment I knew was coming.
"You know what they say, conserve water and shower with a friend. - Author: Chelsea M. Cameron
Funny Say What Quotes #636654
#17. When a man does exactly what a woman expects him to do she doesn't think much of him. One should always do what a woman doesn't expect, just as one should say what she doesn't understand. - Author: Oscar Wilde
Funny Say What Quotes #622434
#18. Will you promise to keep this to yourself, to not tell anyone of what we are? By his words you'd think he was giving me a choice. Like I could say,no deal, honey bunch, I'm off to shout your secret from the rooftops, and he'd be like, oh no please don't do that. In
reality, he'd have to kill me. - Author: L. H. Cosway
Funny Say What Quotes #612964
#19. I see no difference between my pictures that people consider amusing and the rest. To me, it's all serious work - they're just a reaction to what I see. I don't leave this apartment in the morning and say to myself 'Today I'm going to be funny and tomorrow I'm going to be sad.' - Author: Elliott Erwitt
Funny Say What Quotes #562591
#20. No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween! - Author: Gary Gulman
Funny Say What Quotes #548687
#21. It's a funny thing because it's what the people say when they come across a ghost situation is that it does freak you out, but then you do get over it - for some reason you're not scared to come across it again. - Author: Rhys Darby
Funny Say What Quotes #539885
#22. They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that? - Author: Casey Stengel
Funny Say What Quotes #508183
#23. I'm a mumbler. If I'm walking with a friend, and I say something, he says, "What?" So I say it again, and he says, "What?" Really, it's just some insignificant stuff I'm saying, but now I'm yelling, "That tree is far away!" - Author: Mitch Hedberg
Funny Say What Quotes #480114
#24. When you say 'Bedtime, bedtime, bedtime!' that's not what the child hears. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark ... for hours ... and don't move ... I'm locking the door now.' - Author: Dylan Moran
Funny Say What Quotes #475145
#25. So my mum bought a jacuzzi, and I was in there along with my father and my sister, when my mother decided it would be the ideal moment to say - 'Guess what everyone in this jacuzzi has in common? You've all sucked on my tits.' - Author: Russell Howard
Funny Say What Quotes #472213
#26. I make people laugh for a living. I believe I can say objectively that what I do I do as well as anybody. Just say I'm one of the best broken field runners that ever lived. For 35 years I was a cult hero, an underground funny. - Author: Mel Brooks
Funny Say What Quotes #1093968
In your case, ED is not a man's name. - Author: Robin Glasser
Funny Say What Quotes #1217267
#28. A person with no children says, "Well I just love children," and you say "Why?" and they say, "Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth." That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain. - Author: Bill Cosby
Funny Say What Quotes #1203699
#29. I'm not trying to - What do teenagers say nowadays?" he asked my grandmother."Get all up in her biznez," Nana said.Without cracking a smile."That's right," he replied. "We're not trying to get all up in your biznez, Ali. - Author: Gena Showalter
Funny Say What Quotes #1198195
#30. What did the lawyer say?" I couldn't stop the little snicker that slipped out as I sat back up in the seat and laced my fingers behind my head.
"Before or after I kissed her?"
"Zeb!" My mom gave me a hard look and my sister just shook her head. - Author: Jay Crownover
Funny Say What Quotes #1168028
#31. It's funny when people ask an actor what they want to play next, because you don't get to decide what you play. I don't know. I can only say this: I don't want to and have no interest in playing a plastic surgeon. That's for sure. I'm open to anything else. - Author: Dylan Walsh
Funny Say What Quotes #1164726
#32. My father always used to say, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," - 'til the accident. - Author: Jimmy Carr
Funny Say What Quotes #1159285
#33. After reading some of my stories, I once had a friend say to me, "I'd love to spend five minutes in your head to see what's going on in there." I warned them, "If you spent five seconds in my mind you'd probably run out screaming and never speak to me again. - Author: Mark W. Boyer
Funny Say What Quotes #1157098
#34. We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks- if we agree with him. - Author: Mark Twain
Funny Say What Quotes #1145914
#35. Honus was a wonderful fellow, so good-natured and friendly to everyone. Gee, we loved that guy. And the fans were crazy about him. Yeah, everybody loved that old Dutchman! If anyone told a good joke or a funny story, Honus would slap his knee and let out a loud roar and say, "What about that!" So - Author: Lawrence S. Ritter
Funny Say What Quotes #1143722
#36. Okay, first of all, I didn't sleep with you to make amends. I slept with you because I wanted to."
He still didn't say anything, and she pointed at him again. "And you know what? It was your own damn fault. It was those jeans you wear, and the tool belt. It was the size of your hammer! - Author: Jill Shalvis
Funny Say What Quotes #1135104
#37. It's really funny if two women stand on the House floor. There are usually at least two men who go by and say, 'What is this, a coup?' They're almost afraid to see us in public together. - Author: Patricia Schroeder
Funny Say What Quotes #1127984
#38. Why don't you say "What?" if you like to sleep with your own sister. - Author: The Undertaker
Funny Say What Quotes #1113186
#39. Some say Twitter is overrated.
Some love it, others hate it.
I guess it depends on what you've got,
If you have guts to write a funny plot! - Author: Ana Claudia Antunes
Funny Say What Quotes #458005
#40. Marked by justice," I say. Sevro rolls his eyes. "What? I can be funny." "Keep practicing. - Author: Pierce Brown
Funny Say What Quotes #1092839
#41. I'm too busy thinking what I'm going to say next to remember what I've said, but my staff tells me I'm sometimes funny. Not always on purpose, though. - Author: Jared Polis
Funny Say What Quotes #1088643
#42. As an adult, I'm not supposed to go down slides. So if I'm at the top of a slide, I have to pretend that I got there accidentally. "How the hell did I get up here? I guess I have to slide down. Whee!" That's what you say when you're having fun. You refer to yourself and some other people. - Author: Mitch Hedberg
Funny Say What Quotes #1086244
#43. WHAT A CONCUBINE SHOULD NEVER SAY: You wanna swing? Fine! See that tree branch? The one with the rope ... - Author: Robin Glasser
Funny Say What Quotes #1054619
#44. Women were afraid of me, they were scared to death. But I always say be yourself, if you're funny then let your sense of humor go there. I mean there's no sense hiding what you feel. - Author: Don Rickles
Funny Say What Quotes #1053494
#45. He treats the person as if they were fully whole.
We become what others expect us to be. Dad expected me to get better and even assumed I would have something helpful to say. Funny how we rise and fall to the assumptions of others. - Author: Nathan Foster
Funny Say What Quotes #1053443
#46. What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish." - Author: Robert Schimmel
Funny Say What Quotes #1045158
#47. We watch so much film, calling up pitch by pitch, count by count in order to spot tendencies. Technology is a big part of how I get ready for a game. What's funny is a lot of the NFL guys say they study the 'Madden' game; that's how they learn to read offenses and defenses. - Author: Carl Crawford
Funny Say What Quotes #1006255
#48. Do yourself a favor,' I said. "Forget it. Forget you ever saw me."
"Forget that you tried to kill me too?"
"Yeah. That, too."
"But who are you?"
"Percy-" I started to say. Then the skeletons turned around. "Gotta go!"
"What kind of name is Percy Gotta-go?"
I bolted for the exit. - Author: Rick Riordan
Funny Say What Quotes #969435
#49. You have a point," he conceded. "Shall I put my foot down? How about I issue an ultimatum? Its Dandy or me. What would you say to that, Miss Jayne?"
Her honey-brown eyebrows lifted, "I would probably choose Dandy just to spite you. - Author: Kady Cross
Funny Say What Quotes #968494
#50. I've learned to start from a really sound argument, boil down the essence of what you're trying to say, then build your humor around that, rather than starting with, 'This sounds funny,' and going from there. - Author: Hasan Minhaj
Funny Say What Quotes #922469
#51. I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny. - Author: Don Rickles
Funny Say What Quotes #86792
#52. I always surprise myself with my voice. A lot of people don't get it, and they're like, 'You can't sing. Stop. What are you doing?' And it's funny to hear a lot people say I sing in falsetto because it's not falsetto - that's my voice. - Author: Shamir
Funny Say What Quotes #177911
#53. Money is ego, and people won't give it up. Just want to protect themselves, hold on to it like a blanket. They don't realize it keeps them slaves. It's sick" "What's funny is that as soon as you give everything away, as soon as you say, Here, take it - that's when you really have everything". - Author: Emma Cline
Funny Say What Quotes #177294
#54. There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? - Author: Dustin Hoffman
Funny Say What Quotes #168316
#55. What did the mat say to the door? You must be really aDOORable to open up to everyone who knock at you. And I welcome everyone and what do I get? People stepping all over me - Author: Ana Claudia Antunes
Funny Say What Quotes #162753
#56. Democrats are dumb and Republicans are stupid, but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you say something and the whole room goes, 'What did he say?' - Author: Lewis Black
Funny Say What Quotes #152874
#57. That is a fart without wind ... in reference to when you can't back up what you say. very funny. - Author: Faye Kellerman
Funny Say What Quotes #151974
#58. David tells me that fairies never say 'We feel happy': what they say is, 'We feel dancey'. - Author: J.M. Barrie
Funny Say What Quotes #144404
#59. - If you could describe my son in 3 words, what would you say?
- Sweet. Cute. Funny.
- That could be a description of a puppy she says dryly. - Author: Mary Papas
Funny Say What Quotes #126794
#60. Greg Gutfeld is funnier than all the smart people I know, and smarter than all the funny people I know. I don't know what that makes him. But one of the smartest, funniest people I know, is fair to say. - Author: Matt Labash
Funny Say What Quotes #123845
#61. I have always believed that the key to a happy marriage was the ability to say with a straight face, 'Why, I don't know what you're worrying about. I thought you were very funny last night and I'm sure everybody else did, too. - Author: Judith Martin
Funny Say What Quotes #101354
#62. Angelina leaned forward as Sara pulled Miki back to her, You know what they say about curiosity? That it stabbed the annoying biker girl over and over and over again until she spit up blood. - Author: Shelly Laurenston
Funny Say What Quotes #94803
#63. What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you. - Author: Anthony Holden
Funny Say What Quotes #90487
#64. Some of my friends say that I only talk about myself. But it is funny: my house is covered in art but with nothing of my own, and when I'm working, I'm only thinking about what the client wants. So I don't see it that way, but maybe it's true. I mean, they are my friends. - Author: Mario Testino
Funny Say What Quotes #179800
#65. Oh Lola's Boobs,' he says into my chest, 'I wish we knew each other better.'
I crack up laughing.
'What's that you say?' he jokes, putting his ear to my right breast. 'You wish you could come out to play more often but Lola doesn't let you? Well, that's a shame. - Author: Bianca Giovanni
Funny Say What Quotes #86437
#66. When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. - Author: Henny Youngman
Funny Say What Quotes #77747
#67. He and the girl had almost nothing to say to each other. One thing he did say was, 'I ain't got any tattoo on my back.'
'What you got on it?' the girl said.
'My shirt,' Parker said. 'Haw.'
'Haw, haw,' the girl said politely. - Author: Flannery O'Connor
Funny Say What Quotes #73090
#68. Child-- "I can't be patient, that's not a word, so don't even say it mommy."

Mommy-- "What? - Author: Mel Brown
Funny Say What Quotes #68607
#69. What would you like to do today?" he says. She gives him a funny look. "What are my options?" "Sky's the limit." She considers it for a moment. "Brunch?" "I say the sky's the limit and all you can come up with is brunch?" "I'm just not sure we live under the same sky. - Author: Jonathan Tropper
Funny Say What Quotes #52781
#70. I was just wondering, what would you say to a pair of kittens?"
""Hi, snack food? - Author: Kaje Harper
Funny Say What Quotes #48669
#71. There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.' That's not why I became an actress. That's what I find so funny: that you become an actor, and all of a sudden, everyone wants to know about you. But I didn't become an actor so I could show you me. - Author: Margot Robbie
Funny Say What Quotes #45618
#72. That's not what he meant," Rachel says again, pink flushing her cheeks.
"Actually, I meant-" I start to say, but Willow cuts me off.
"What? It's true. He looks at you like he'd like to dip you in sugar and eat you up. - Author: C.J. Redwine
Funny Say What Quotes #41291
#73. I'm glad you think this is funny," he says. "Come on," I say. "Tragedy is funny." "Are we in a tragedy?" he asks, smiling broadly now. "Of course. Isn't that what life is? We all die at the end. - Author: Nicola Yoon
Funny Say What Quotes #35518
#74. People want me to be funny all the time. They think I'm being funny no matter what I say or do and that's not the case. - Author: Christopher Guest
Funny Say What Quotes #21703
#75. Of course drugs were fun. And that's what's so stupid about anti-drug campaigns: they don't admit that. I can't say I feel particularly scarred or lessened by my experimentation with drugs. They've gotten a very bad name. - Author: Anjelica Huston
Funny Say What Quotes #20421
#76. You can be funny and say what you mean; these ideas are not mutually exclusive. Some of the best jokes came from people who meant it. See: Pryor, Bruce, Carlin, etc. - Author: Hari Kondabolu
Funny Say What Quotes #313958
#77. We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is, like, really funny. - Author: Zach Galifianakis
Funny Say What Quotes #417728
#78. It's funny, when things go on the internet now and people say 'that's not real,' well, that's what painting's always done - it's taken things from the world and said, Look how much more real this is now. - Author: Margaux Williamson
Funny Say What Quotes #413450
#79. It's kind of a funny way to put it, but if you want to study a dynamic economic system, what you'd like to be able to do is focus on the linkages, say, between asset markets and the macro economy without having to model everything at the same time. - Author: Lars Peter Hansen
Funny Say What Quotes #397180
#80. What's great about stand-up is that you can say whatever you want and go around the country, and sometimes the world, and work on it and see how people react. You don't need Standards & Practices or notes from lawyers or producers to tell you what's funny. - Author: Natasha Leggero
Funny Say What Quotes #390434
#81. I know some people say I can be funny. But there is always a deeper meaning to what I say. I am a socialist at heart and have the interests of the poor in mind. When people see how I manage to work my way out of tough situations, it gives them hope in their own life. - Author: Lalu Prasad Yadav
Funny Say What Quotes #383929
#82. I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny. - Author: Paula Deen
Funny Say What Quotes #369792
#83. Fredrika Bimm, what do you think you're doing?"
"Freaking out. Losing my mind. Thinking about snapping your husband's spine. Squashing the urge to vomit. Wishing I had died at childbirth."
"Oh, you say that when you don't get a prize in your Lucky Charms. - Author: MaryJanice Davidson
Funny Say What Quotes #358379
#84. I think I write funny songs that make people kind of, like, stop what they're doing and be like, 'What did you say?' And then it makes them laugh a little bit. - Author: Elle King
Funny Say What Quotes #348550
#85. It's because you aren't thinking very clearly tonight."
"I know. Being Drunk is weird."
"Oh my god. I love you so much. Especially when you say stuff like that."
"Like what?"
"Nothing. Never mind. Although I'm dying to know why your shoe is green. - Author: Jessica Sorensen
Funny Say What Quotes #346437
#86. Is your blouse Azzedine Alaia?'
'No, you could say it's VERY authentic vintage.'
Lachlain didn't care what it was; she'd never wear that damned unfinished shirt in public again. - Author: Kresley Cole
Funny Say What Quotes #346267
#87. Cheer up, Crips, and keep smiling. That's the thing to do. If you go through life with a smile on your face, you'll be amazed how many people will come up to you and say 'What the hell are you grinning about? What's so funny?' Make you a lot of new friends. - Author: P.G. Wodehouse
Funny Say What Quotes #341750
#88. It's funny what they say about men in uniform - how people think women just can't resist 'em. Fact is, I think we're just pleased to see a man groomed, bathed, and wearing clothes that fit him. - Author: Cherie Priest
Funny Say What Quotes #336913
#89. Hey guys, what did the lion say after eating the clown?" The boys stopped. One looked confused, but the other grinned. "What?" he called. "I don't know about you, but I think that tasted kind of funny. - Author: Erin Nicholas
Funny Say What Quotes #5577
#90. I like when they say a movie is inspired by a true story. That's kind of silly. "Hey, Mitch, did you hear that story about that lady who drove her car into the lake with her kids and they all drowned?" "Yeah, I did, and you know what - that inspires me to write a movie about a gorilla!" - Author: Mitch Hedberg
Funny Say What Quotes #305957
#91. What's funny about Jesus' Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down. - Author: Denis Johnson
Funny Say What Quotes #295970
#92. Tris," he says. "What did they do to you? You're acting like a lunatic."
"That's not very nice of you to say," I say. "They put me in a good mood, that's all. And now I really want to kiss you, so if you could just relax- - Author: Veronica Roth
Funny Say What Quotes #283410
#93. You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what's current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all. - Author: Lily Tomlin
Funny Say What Quotes #263040
#94. You know what they say when a supermodel gets pregnant? Now she's eating for one. - Author: Jay Leno
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#95. I never looked at myself as the fat sister. Sometimes I would beat people to the punch and say, 'Oh I'm the fat, funny one,' because that's what people would say about me. But I never really thought that. - Author: Khloe Kardashian
Funny Say What Quotes #219115
#96. I just say what I think is the funniest thing I could say. I'm not trying to make headlines. I'm just trying to say the stuff that I think is funny and will make people laugh. - Author: Amy Schumer
Funny Say What Quotes #205694
#97. Okay, so let's say we're all in the bubble. What's tonight then? Part of the bubble too? Because, it can't be all bad if there's Nutter Butter pancakes, right?"
He flashed a crooked smile. "This? This is a blip in the bubble. A glitch in the matrix. This is the ultimate not-supposed to. - Author: Margaux Froley
Funny Say What Quotes #199766
#98. I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart ... badoom, badoom, badoom. - Author: Mel Brooks
Funny Say What Quotes #190236
#99. I asked of Echo 't other day (Whose words are few and often funny), What to a novice she could say Of courtship, love, and matrimony. Quoth Echo, plainly, Matter-o'-money. - Author: John Godfrey Saxe
Funny Say What Quotes #187759
#100. What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out. - Author: Ellen DeGeneres
Funny Say What Quotes #180761

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