Funny Retention Quotes

#1. Experts tell us that the global economy will worsen while household appliances will get smarter. By the time your child is twenty-one years old and ready to enter the workforce, all of her job interviews will be conducted by Roombas.

Rick Chillot

#2. There are some things in life a person just cant know

Sarah Weeks

#3. You're going to fuck everything up if you act like some crazed guy with an infatuation. This is not the guy she fell in love with. She fell in love with dark mysterious Dank Walker. She fell in love with Death. Be that guy. Stop being this broken, pitiful, obsessed stalker dude.

Abbi Glines

#4. We went to Ladakh ... and we asked this woman, 'What was the benefit you had from solar electricity?' And she thought for a minute and said, 'It's the first time I can see my husband's face in winter.'

Bunker Roy

#5. Thanksgiving reminds us that no matter what befalls us in life, we can take the charred remnants and we can reconstruct a life unimaginably richer than that from which the shards and pieces fell.

Craig D. Lounsbrough

#6. Being butchered by monkeys is pretty low on my list of ways to go.

Brandon Mull