Top 20 Funny Prison Quotes
#1. The man who recognizes the truth of any human relation and neglects the duty involved is not a true man.... A man may be aware of the highest truths of many things, and yet not be a true man, inasmuch as the essentials of manhood are not his aim: he has not come into the flower of his own being.
George MacDonald
#2. Life baffles me most days. Maybe that's why I write. To try and make sense of it all.
Christy Hall
#3. If 30 Australians drowned in Sydney Harbour, it would be a national tragedy. But when 30 or more refugees drown off the Australian coast, it is a political question.
Richard Flanagan
#4. It was a dangerous profession I had chosen ... because no one likes a funny kid. In fact, adults are scared silly of them and tend to warn children who act out that they are going to wind up in prison or worse. It is only when you grow up that they pay you vast sums of money to make them laugh.
Art Buchwald
#5. Why would Dad call you? I mean, you have to admit that he would have been better off calling the local prison and asking them to send out one of the convicted killers to come find me. - Shella
Krista Alasti
#6. Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.
Dan Duva
#8. I love to eat. That's why I got so fat; I love to eat. If I don't walk away from a meal hurting, I didn't do it right. If I don't walk away from Thanksgiving dinner feeling like I've been turkey-f**ked in a gingerbread prison, I didn't do it right.
Greg Behrendt
#9. Mr Moss's courtyard is railed in like a cage, lest the gentlemen who are boarding with him should take a fancy to escape from his hospitality.
William Makepeace Thackeray
#11. Russia was allowed to inherit the Soviet Union's seat on the UN Security Council when that organization, which had been designed to preserve the Cold War status quo, should instead have been reformed to reflect the new primacy of the free world.
Garry Kasparov
#12. That's a federal crime," I told him. "Punishable by three to five years in a minimum-security prison. You'll get passed around like condiments at a barbeque." "My hole is already quivering," he said.
T.J. Klune
#13. I supposed images of an evil god who wanted to break free of his mythological prison and enslave the whole world
weren't any scarier than a guy wearing big red shoes,yellow plaid pants,and white face paint.Clowns had always creeped me out. They were so not funny.
Jennifer Estep
#14. It's funny, Vasher thought, How many things begin with my getting thrown into prison.
Brandon Sanderson
#15. Johnny shot a glance first at the cardboard cup which she held before then looking at the
Philip Musson
#16. So what indeed! The lesson I myself learned over and over again when teaching at the college and then the prison was the uselessness of information to most people, except as entertainment. If facts weren't funny or scary, or couldn't make you rich, the heck with them.
Kurt Vonnegut
#17. Any AI smart enough to pass a Turing test is smart enough to know to fail it.
Ian McDonald
#18. Because a woman brought death a bright Maiden overcame it, and so the highest blessing in all of creation lies in the form of a woman, since God has become man in a sweet and blessed Virgin.
Hildegard Of Bingen
#19. Growth is a funny sort of concept. For example, our GNP increases every time we build a prison. Well, okay, it's growth in a sense ...
Noam Chomsky
#20. I had heard of offices feeling like prisons, but in this case our prison felt, rather anticlimactically, like an office.
William Ritter