Top 25 Funny Olympic Sayings

#1. Olympic organizers are reportedly struggling to fill rows and rows of empty seats. Empty seats! In fact, yesterday officials put out a casting call asking for 200 Europeans or eight Americans.

Conan O'Brien

Funny Olympic Sayings #70384
#2. Seriously, the Olympic badminton players were apparently trying to lose on purpose, a big story. But really, think about it, if you train day and night for four years to be in the Olympics for badminton, in a way, haven't you already lost?

Conan O'Brien

Funny Olympic Sayings #322479
#3. During a photo-call with fellow Olympic gold medallist Duncan Goodhew- Pity Steve Ovett didn't show up. Then we could have had the good, the bald and the ugly.

Daley Thompson

Funny Olympic Sayings #335739
#4. The Republic-of-China - back in the Olympic Games for the first time

David Coleman

Funny Olympic Sayings #393932
#5. The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else is too scared to compete next to him.

Jimmy Fallon

Funny Olympic Sayings #434273
#6. But ambition is a funny thing: it creeps in when you least expect it and keeps you moving, even when you think you want to stay put.

Lena Dunham

Funny Olympic Sayings #509954
#7. I think the scores for Olympic gymnastics are affected by what countries the judge and the gymnast are from. That's wrong. That type of political pandering isn't meant for gymnastic Olympic events. It's meant for the Supreme Court.

Craig Ferguson

Funny Olympic Sayings #548951
#8. For the sun, stars, oceans, and all the trees, I'll consider it.

Jandy Nelson

Funny Olympic Sayings #602877
#9. The first Olympic Games were held in 776 BC. Do you know who lit the flame? Betty White.

Jay Leno

Funny Olympic Sayings #687365
#10. Your fear of the truth does not hide or dilute it.

Steve Maraboli

Funny Olympic Sayings #763560
#11. Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a guy in a beret. Look at our founding fathers, they all wore berets.

David Letterman

Funny Olympic Sayings #792370
#12. Tough Olympic news for the Romneys. Ann Romney's horse Rafalka did not advance to the Olympic finals. Apparently it was beat by a smooth-talking socialist horse from Kenya.

Conan O'Brien

Funny Olympic Sayings #850817
#13. Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be awesome. The team from Mexico could wear those Mr. X masks. The French wrestler could hit his opponent with a baguette. Or perhaps just surrender.

Craig Ferguson

Funny Olympic Sayings #1206582
#14. A dozen swimming events have already been completed in the Olympic competition. I wonder where they got the name 'Speedo.' It doesn't sound like a bathing suit, it sounds like a breakfast cereal for meth addicts.

Craig Ferguson

Funny Olympic Sayings #1255088
#15. Our society holds to youthfulness with a white-knuckled grip. Ultimately it's all in vain. But the gospel promises us eternal youthfulness in God's presence.

Randy Alcorn

Funny Olympic Sayings #1335332
#16. Last night I went out for Chinese. I picked up a Team USA Olympic uniform.

Jay Leno

Funny Olympic Sayings #1372536
#17. In the spirit of the Olympic Games, they traditionally ask that all fighting and warfare around the world stop. So, there's hope for a ceasefire within the Jackson family.

Jay Leno

Funny Olympic Sayings #1429089
#18. THE BELIEF THAT PEOPLE WILL NOT LIE TO YOU. This is the main obstacle that Phil had to deal with in his encounter with Omar, who had already been vetted and whose veracity and good standing were unquestioned when Phil interviewed him.

Philip Houston

Funny Olympic Sayings #1435993
#19. Surrender is to give oneself up to the original cause of one's being.

Ramana Maharshi

Funny Olympic Sayings #1588779
#20. Well, Harry Reid and other members of congress, they're just furious over this Olympic uniform deal. He says we should burn the uniforms, and it's an embarrassment and a disgrace. Not as embarrassing as congress constantly borrowing money from the Chinese, but still embarrassing.

Jay Leno

Funny Olympic Sayings #1589863
#21. He's been breaking Olympic records like ninepins

Des Lynam

Funny Olympic Sayings #1661029
#22. Yesterday Michael Phelps set an all-time Olympic record for most medals. Phelps has so much gold on his chest he's been asked to join the cast of 'Jersey Shore.'

Conan O'Brien

Funny Olympic Sayings #1683828
#23. Olympic officials have disqualified a champion race walker after determining that he was doping. They disqualified him. The man said getting caught doping is almost as embarrassing as getting caught being a champion race walker.

Conan O'Brien

Funny Olympic Sayings #1704515
#24. Thoughts are wonderful things, that they can bring two people, so far apart, into harmony and understanding for even a little while.

Ernie Pyle

Funny Olympic Sayings #1791056
#25. I guess you heard about this; the U.S. Olympic Committee is coming under fire after it was revealed that the uniforms for Team USA to be worn in the opening ceremony were made in China. Turns out they were made by some of the same kids who could beat us in gymnastics. That's the worst part.

Jay Leno

Funny Olympic Sayings #1828462

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