Funny Marital Quotes

#1. There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.

Garrison Keillor

#2. It feels like each time we are beginning at the beginning, in a really exciting way.

Jonathan Ive

#3. Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of my parents, something that enough critics were already doing.

Jack Paar

#4. Could I have some water?" "I'll get it." Marcus hopped up from his stool. "There's some in the specimen fridge.

Deborah Harkness

#5. The sidelines may be safer but life is played on the field

Wendy Mass

#6. It [salvation] is not this flu shot mentality of an invitation of the Gospel.

Paul Washer

#7. Golf is a matter of confidence. If you think you cannot do it, there is no chance you will.

Henry Cotton

#8. Not that she means anything by it, he knows. This is simply her lifelong habit of moderation at work, her need to tamp everything down to the routine, the modest, the tepid everyday. He understands the whole concept of boundaries, but there's a point where this mania for normalizing turns toxic.

Ben Fountain

#9. I'm so happy, I think I'll dress up like J. Edgar Hoover and sing show tunes.

Don Imus

#10. Horrible date all through high school and college. Here's an impression of me on a date in high school. Come on, chug it!

David Spade

#11. From the moment I first saw you, I couldn't take my eyes off of you. You took my breath away. your beauty captivated me, yes, but it was something more. Something about you grabbed hold of me and I didn't want to let go.

Beth Michele

#12. I've kind of codified certain things for myself, rhythmic patterns and mechanical ways of using the bow to create layers of rhythm. What I'm trying to do is to create a complete piece of music on one instrument.

Bruce Molsky

#13. If you wait for a cake to be given to you so you will be happy- then you will be happy when someone gives you a cake. But if you buy a cake (or bake one) for yourself so you will be happy, you have found the way of happiness.

C. JoyBell C.

#14. The issue of innovation never interested me personally, since I believe it may lead to a place where people don't paint anymore.

Ed Askew

#15. They have broken the yoke of the oppressor; and this they have done not by fighting but by surrendering.

A.W. Tozer

#16. You think I'm boring, don't you?"Alec seemed amused as he leaned in closer to me. Exhausted, I laughed and put my hands on my hips, fighting to keep myself from making eye contact. "Yes. But you're pretty to look at, so as long as someone doesn't scratch your face off, you'll always have that!

Rachel Van Dyken