Funny Male And Female Quotes

#1. In me didst thou exist-and, in my death, see by this image, which is thine own, how utterly thou hast murdered thyself. - Author: Edgar Allan Poe

#2. If you pull some lame-ass 'I'm your father' bullshit, right now, I'm going to lose it. - Author: Martin Leicht

#3. And certainly, the mistakes that we male and female mortals make when we have our own way might fairly raise some wonder that we are so fond of it. - Author: George Eliot

#4. But its hard to believe Coach Ashford...like he's that hot and a good guy. And bisexual? So a fucking unicorn, then. - Author: Avon Gale

#5. The EU is an unique project that replaced war with peace, hate with solidarity. Overwhelming emotion for awarding of Nobel prize to EU - Author: Martin Schulz

#6. Tip#27

Kiss a girl if you're a female,

If you're a single male kiss a Guy

(Idea)
It's fun to offend society ~ - Author: Hazel Cartwright

#7. There are so many funny women in the world, and there has been for so many years, so I'll be happy when people can just move on from that, and things can just be 'comedies' and not 'female' or 'male,' and everyone gets an equal opportunity. - Author: Kristen Wiig

#8. After all, I'm already a murderer. No one really expects a murderer to stop killing. - Author: Holly Black

#9. No. Feel it. Feel me. You're too fucking stubborn to fuck softly. You need it good and hard, don't you? - Author: Natasha Knight

#10. There are only two classes - first class and no class. - Author: David O. Selznick

#11. Making duck calls is the hardest thing that we make, so there's skill involved, and they're all handmade. - Author: Willie Robertson

#12. A man's plumbing is like his mind: simple, very few surprises. You ladies, on the other hand ... well, God put a lot of thought in making you. - Author: Khaled Hosseini

#13. Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behavior does. - Author: Lovely Goyal

#14. If this happened in a Fae marriage, then the female would beat the male into submission. If she is too small to beat him properly, one of the larger women of her family would perform the task for her. - Author: Sophie Oak

#15. Help, Remy, help!
Emile! Start swinging the light! - Author: Walt Disney Company

#16. Returning from the wilderness a man becomes a restorer of order, a preserver. He sees the truth, recognizes his true heir, honors his forbears and his heritage, and gives his blessing to his successors. He embodies the passing of human time, living and dying within the human limits of grief and joy. - Author: Wendell Berry

#17. Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich. - Author: Habeeb Akande

#18. Is it just me, or do you also think this is unnatural behavior in a female parent? Isn't there a federal law that says mothers are not allowed to laugh at vulnerable male children when they are required to wear stupid clothing to work?
There should be. - Author: Ann Edwards Cannon

#19. The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one. - Author: Terry Pratchett

#20. It was nothing less than a stretch of divine love for Jesus to give himself for our sins. It was gracious for the Infinite to conceive of such a thing; but for him to carry it out was glorious beyond all. - Author: Charles Spurgeon

#21. Who do I like? I am a big fan of French and Saunders - not that that they are particularly stand-up I have to say, but I think they have been great for women and they are of themselves just incredibly funny whether they are male or female. - Author: Jo Brand

#22. Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that "women aren't funny." Using that same math, I can state: Male comedy writers piss in cups. - Author: Tina Fey

#23. It used to be that you had to make female TV characters perfect so no one would be offended by your 'portrayal' of women. Even when I started out on 'The Office' eight years ago, we could write our male characters funny and flawed, but not the women. And now, thankfully, it's completely different. - Author: Mindy Kaling